Help! My daughter has panic attacks when near her cot!

[lilysmum2]

Hi ladies,,,,I need lots and lots of help!!

My daughter has slept with me and OH for about 4months now. Before that she used to sleep for about 1-2hours in her cot and then get in with us. She's 16months old

Now she wont even entertain the idea!!
Her cot is in her own room...Beautiful looking room, nothing scary etc....

We did the cry it out method for one night which turned terrible and she screamed that hard that she ended up with Croup. So that was a no-no.

Anyway now she will NOT even go near her cot! If we pop her in it just to try and show her its ok she shakes and screams and starts hyperventilating, we take her out and this lasts for about half an hour after.

She won't go near it and I am lost as to what to do!

I had an idea and my mother and mother-in-law said it was a good idea but I wanted the B&B girls opinions too.....How about if we take the side off (its a cotbed) and make it into a normal bed and put just the toddler side thingy on to stop her falling off. Maybe she wounldnt feel so trapped and might think it like our bed if I lie in with her until she goes to sleep??? Its just an idead but Im just lost and have no other ideas.

Also she wakes up about 7-8 times a night,,,,depending how fruity she is feeling!!
She doesn't like sleeping. Even in the day. She would rather have bright red eyes with bags under than actually sleep


HELP!!! xx

 

[Elli21]

Have you tried moving the cot into your room, to slowly get her used to being in there, but still with you...
Thats the only thing i cant think of suggesting xx

 

[lilysmum2]

Have you tried moving the cot into your room, to slowly get her used to being in there, but still with you...
Thats the only thing i cant think of suggesting xx

She was in our room until she was 13months old,, and was waking up everytime we turned off because our bed is creeky. So HV told us to move her into her room but she has slept in her room for 1hour and 45mins in total!!

 

[Elli21]

My two stayed in bed with OH and I until they were 1.5 and 2.
Sometimes my son will still creep into bed with us in the middle of the night.
But that was cos we chose to co-sleep.
It is hard to get them into their own beds and rooms etc, but if you decide that now is the time for her to do so, then you need to stick with it, as every time you give in, she will think you will give in everytime if she cries hard enough.
I hope u find a way soon

 

[Abz1982]

We took the side off Emmas cot about a month or so ago now as she too was starting to get panicy about going to bed - as in you take her in and she would leg it out the room screaming. I think she felt caged so to speak, as you can put her to bed and leave the door a crack open and she was fine.....but close the door and she freaks! She did fall out of bed a few times - as have decide not to use a guard rail as the cot is about 7" from the floor. And sometimes you go n and she is sleeping sort of kneeling on the floor - like she is praying, yet snoring away!!

She still gets up at about 5am and ends up in our bed though.....but thats not so bad

 

[Dragonfly]

put yourself in her place, your in a cot on your own and no one is coming, mum isnt responding or leaving you in there . Its scary to a baby maybe not to you. she dont understand whats happening and why your on your own only that you need your mum. I know you dont do cio now but you did and thats left maybe an impact. And your hv dosnt rule what you do you dont have to put her in a room of her own unless you really want to theres no law here. She dosnt sound ready, keep her close till she is confident enough to go herself. If co sleeping isnt working for whatever reason attach the cot to your side of bed with part off it so she feels close I have done this for new baby and have my son in middle.

 

[smelly07]

If she is waking up in your room due to noise etc then i would go with your idea, turning the cot into a cotbed and use a bedguard, although that may not work because you co slept, it may not be the cot thats the problem just that she associates it with being left alone x

 

[velvetina]

My friend had the same problem with her daughter and actually turned it into a bed with a bed guard as you suggested. She then spent time laying with her until she fell asleep )she too had shared their bed) and for her has been successful. Because of extreme fear, you may have to start it in short bursts or bring it back into your room and see if that helps. Good luck hun.

 

[adzuki]

Maybe you could sleep together on an air mattress on the floor of her room for a bit, then eventually move her into her crib and you sleep in her room. It sounds like something traumatic happened there, and now she needs to regain trust. Make a list of least stressful to her to most stressful (aka - sleeping in your bed at 0 stress and sleeping in her crib at 10 stress) and mark the points along the way. Together, work from 0 up to the full 10. It might take a while, but rebuilding trust takes time.


A