Help please! 'Performance' issues!

[red_head]

Prepare yourself for a cringeworthy post!
So we have been ttc for 3 years, 1 miscarriage early in, nothing since.
There have been queries over whether I'm ovulating, I've been ill, he's been ill etc. This month, things seem really good. I've also been inching closer to ovulating on ovulation sticks and bbt which hasn't happened for a long while. I'd say it's either today or tomorrow that it's going to happen; currently the ovulation test is a tiny bit lighter but has been getting darker since yesterday morning.
I also had a hsg last week, and I know that can boost fertility.
So this is fantastic, I feel positive, hopeful and excited, which hasn't happened since our loss.
But now hubby is struggling. We've dtd everday to every other day, which isn't unusual for us, even when not ovulating. But now he's struggling to cum. So Thursday morning it happened without a hitch, we both got in the mood Thursday night so tried then, but he couldn't cum, then Friday morning he was fine, and then last night he initiated it, and couldn't. Then this morning I tried again and he couldn't.
I really don't know what to do. I feel like this is our first chance and that this is our month, but it's going sideways! I don't want to put pressure on him, but obviously it's frustrating for both of us! I've tried new things, tried porn, tried to make love rather than a baby to take the pressure off, tried doing other things to help him get close, nothing is helping. I am getting upset, but don't want to make it worse for him! He is on medication which can effect that, but before this week it's been fine. He says he 100% wants a baby, and that it's nothing to do with me.
Do you think that as we dtd Thursday and Friday we might be okay? I don't want to miss this chance! And any ideas how we can make this better?
X

 

[Bloblo]

We normally dtd every second day since dh can not cum more than once every 48hrs or so - i have never seen this as an issue, chances of getting pregnant by dtd every 2nd day is just very slightly lower than dtd every day. Plus there are some articles saying that the sperm quality is much better if it builds up a bit. Sperm can survive a few days in you, so if you are ovulating today then Fridays bd will be enough. Try to wait until Sunday before trying again just to give him a rest. But, unfortunately it is very normal for men to be able to cum every 48hrs (according to my dr) so you will probably just have to get used to it - try not to worry too much...

That being said... i feel your frustration- men suck sometimes

 

[red_head]

Thank you! I'm relieved to hear that I'm not the only person experiencing something like this! We will try and wait until tomorrow; thank you for your reassurance xx

 

[broodymrs]

The month I got pregnant we had this. I'd had a hsg too. I was using a fertility monitor so we dtd every 2-3 days then every day when I was on high or peak fertility. So it was my second day of peak fertility. I was going away with work so had to be up at 5am. Woke dh and told him we'd need to dtd as I was away overnight. So both half asleep attempting to get into it. He could barely get it up never mind finish. Gave it up as a bad job as I needed to get up and get ready and was pretty disappointed we'd wasted a peak day. However 10 days later I got my bfp so whatever we'd done was obviously enough. You can get pregnant from the pre cum too, so don't give up hope. Ttc is stressful and puts so much pressure on couples.

Slightly off topic but dh got us a game called monogamy and that's quite fun and gets you in the mood if you need any other suggestions for keeping things fresh!

 

[red_head]

Aww that gives me hope!! Congratulations on your BFP! Hopefully what we've done will be enough. I think we'll try again this evening, but am going to try romantic, candles and a massage, then a ton of foreplay and hopefully he'll get there! He says he enjoys the sex anyway but can't get off, so I guess even if he doesn't come we can just have a cuddle.
Thank you for making me less worried!

 

[broodymrs]

You're welcome. I have fertility issues too so it really was against the odds

 

[red_head]

I wasn't ovulating and have PCOS; we went to the fertility clinic just over a year ago now, but straight after my first appointment I became really ill, and had to be discharged. The condition has now gone into remission so we can try again, and we're starting back with the fertility team, but weirdly ever since my diagnosis I've been ovulating! I just have a feeling this month is going to be our chance, maybe because it feels like we've been through so much and come out the other side we deserve it! And also reading about the hsg and the increased fertility it can lead to! We ended up having a lovely time together this afternoon with no issues so today's base is covered think we just needed to have an open and honest talk about his feelings and I needed to chill out! Thank you for the positivity

 

[Babydust1234]

This is me today . I ovulated today but he finished 4 times last night. So we will be missing my most fertile time to. We can do this lol! Good luck babe x

 

[red_head]

Hopefully we did it enough! Fingers crossed! X