HELP What is wrong with DS night routine? All advise welcome by this tired mummy.

[Kapow]

Max has never been a 'through the night' sleeper. He used to end up in our bed most night up until he turned 6 month and we put a stop to it.

At 7 months he was put into his own room and since then his sleeping is still not great. We've had a few night where he has slept 7/8 hours which was amazing but this is very few and far between.

We've cut down his night-time breast feeds gradually over the past two months and now he just has one from me during storytime and if he wakes through the night OH usually goes to him. If I go in I seem to make him cry more as he can smell milk I think and wants me to feed him back to sleep. This used to be fine but now I'm back at work and expecting No2 baby I'm just too tired to be feeding him 4/5 times a night.

I'm hoping that I if I let you lovely ladies know our routine you may be able to find something that may be the reason that he's up so much.

6pm Dinner at the dining table
6.30pm Undress him and let him have naked play until his bath is ready
7pm Bath (usually with me in there with him), wash him and have some splashy-song to wear him out a little (By now he is usually yawning and rubbing his eyes)
7.15pm OH takes him into his room (which is dimly lit, around 20°c and quiet) and dries him and gets him into his PJs and Grobag.
7.20pm We sit on his sofabed and I breast feed him while OH reads him a story (By now he usually seems really sleepy)
If he is still wide away OH turns off the light and leaves the room while I recite another story to him in the dark. If he seems sleepy I don't bother with the second story and put him down in his cot.
This is where the fun starts ...............
He rolls onto his front and then wants his back stroked/bum patted until he's gone to sleep. If we stop before he's gone he lifts his head and starts whinging.

If we leave the room and try to let him cry it out he starts by whinging and wining, then onto proper crying and screaming until we go back in. We have left him up to 25 mins like this and there was no signs of him stopping. When we go back into his room he's always standing in the corner of his cot and as you walk towards him he stops crying and lays back on his front ready for you to stroke him again.

Once he's eventually asleep he'll go a few hours but wakes around 4 times a night (at random times) and the whole thing happens again. We never pick him up out of his cot or turn on any lights etc, so I just don't know what we are doing wrong.

I really don't want to give him a bottle but he won't take a whole beaker of milk before bedtime, he just takes a few sips and doesn't want anymore.

Any advise you have will be welcomed with open arms. We're both exhausted and I'm worried how I'll cope with Max and a newborn in the spring!!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

xxxx

 

[DottyLottie]

Wow this sounds tough!
Your son is old enough to understand some language now, certainly the word NO. I would stop with the stroking him back to sleep, perhaps go to him when he wakes, but lie him back down, tuck him back up and tell him "no more now, sleep time" - I would be sure not to use any other words or talk to him about anything else, just be rigid in your new routine. You might get a couple of nights of him screaming, but he will soon get the idea.

When my LO started waking in the night like this, I went to her, but did not talk or comfort her, I just tucked her back up and left again. The first few nights I was in and out of that room every 5 minutes, doing the same thing, but eventually I won! Even now she is really good at going to sleep, she knows mummy means business

 

[DottyLottie]

I forgot to say good luck, I hope it eases up for you soon, its touch being awake at night and working

 

[Seraphim]

I don't have any advice - We're pretty much where you might have been at 9 months
So I'll watch this with interest.

Just now I'm happy that H has gotten as far as laying herself back down rather than needing to be fed - but I might not be feeling that way in another 4-5 months

Tonight I have just been looking at slumber bears... I'm interested in the audio record function... because I *think* it's the noise of the rubbing H likes... she rubs the mattress herself, and it does sound a little like white noise

I hope you get some helpful answers

 

[ChnandlerBong]

I wish I had advice, but I only have sympathy!
My daughter is now 3 and I think I remember her sleeping through the night maybe 7 or 8 times now.
We also have a consistent bedtime routine and have literlly tried everything.
My grandma who has 8 children says...well, one day she'll grow out of it and they'll sleep all the time. The babies who sleep all night at a young age will be up and at em' bright and early at 4:00am once they hit 5 or 6
I hope it holds true!
It is so frustrating and tiring. I don't remember what it's like to sleep more than 4 hours in a row!

 

[Sam9kids]

Wow this sounds tough!
Your son is old enough to understand some language now, certainly the word NO. I would stop with the stroking him back to sleep, perhaps go to him when he wakes, but lie him back down, tuck him back up and tell him "no more now, sleep time" - I would be sure not to use any other words or talk to him about anything else, just be rigid in your new routine. You might get a couple of nights of him screaming, but he will soon get the idea.

When my LO started waking in the night like this, I went to her, but did not talk or comfort her, I just tucked her back up and left again. The first few nights I was in and out of that room every 5 minutes, doing the same thing, but eventually I won! Even now she is really good at going to sleep, she knows mummy means business

Im pretty much in agreement with this and have done similar with my brood! Good luck and it will pass xxxx

 

[stephwiggy]

ok i must admit it was a while ago but what we did on my granny's advise was when we put in cot and do story - say night night then sit on floor not looking at bubs !!

and just move away slowly - (took us an hour the first night)

the theory is they know you are there but not so close ..

after a week we just put down said goodnight then stood at door ( again no eye contact )

it really worked for us... maybe worth a try ??