Help with 10 year old boy - hygiene

[Vixen_17]

Hi all

My 10 year old son insists on sitting down to wee. I taught him when he was little how to do it standing up but for some reason he won't do it.

Hubs and I have spoken to him about it recently and said that he needs to start doing it and he said he would. He said he had been doing it but when questioned yesterday confessed that he hadn't tried at all.

Then went on to confess that after he's been to the loo he doesn't wash his hands and when he's in the shower, sometimes he doesn't wash. He has said that this is because he's lazy and can't be bothered.

I spoke to him at length again yesterday and explained that in third world countries where they are not fortunate enough to have toilets, baths and soap they can get quite ill and sometimes the babies get ill too from germs that you get when you go to the loo. We have a 14 month old daughter and do not want her to get ill. I have explained that these things are not optional. They are as basis as learning how to eat using a knife and fork and learning to say please and thank you. They are mandatory and he WILL do them.

Now, short of watching him every time he uses the bathroom I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to monitor this situation. So, I've come to the wonderful BnBers to seek advice. Both hubs and I spent most of yesterday just trying to understand why he'd act like this.

All comments gratefully received!

 

[morri]

You are the first person I have come across that is asking a person to stand up fortaking a piss. Usually most people complain about that their other halfs or kids don't sit down for it.

When I was a kid teenager I was quite reluctant to shower, but it could help if you make him a plan at this doors which tells him when to do what, and if he is doing it on a regular basis then he can get a minor gift like a little toy car or a magazine.

 

[seoj]

I guess I'm not sure why sitting down to pee would be an issue? I actually dated a guy (several years back) that still did this as an adult is that's how he was taught... but you need to do what you feel is best as his parents. Period.

As for hygeine... not really sure what you can to make him clean while in the shower. You can certainly ask him to wash his hands whenever he's takin a pee etc... my friend had to remind her 10yr old ALL the time as he just "forgets" LOL. I think it's really common to do that age with boys.

Is there maybe something you can buy to make washing hands easier (not that it's at all difficult)- but easier for him to do? Like hand foam or wipes or anti-bacterial gel he can use and rub instead? Not sure what else to recommend.

As for showers- there just may not be much you can do... besides remind him to wash before hand-- but something he'll most likely grow out of when he's older and his pits stink and girls think it's gross haha.

Sorry I can't be more help!

 

[morri]

stickers

 

[Cassie.]

There are things that you can get to put into the toilet, that change colour when hit with pee to encourage boys to aim properly or in this case, maybe to encourage standing up to pee? They might be a bit babyish though I know they had them in the boys toilets in my secondary school!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product...&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=467128533&pf_rd_i=468294

About the showering, maybe buy him popular shower gels, so he'll want to use them (Lynx, etc). My brother went through the same problem, not wanting to shower, when he was 10 til about 13. It stopped when he wanted to smell good to impress the girls.

 

[Karkey]

Ive got a 12 year old son dat i STILL stand outside the bathroom door shouting in commands to him to "Wash under ur armpits" and "make sure you have rinsed the soap out of your hair". But I agree with Cassie on this one I started to buy my son the fancy shower gels and stuff and he likes to do it now, he even comes out of the bathroom afterwards and asks me if he smells good.
Its worked for me!!!!

As for the toilet situation....it wouldnt bother me too much that hes still sitting down to go, but again for the hand washing.......I would use the alcohol hand gel if handwashing was a problem, i use it with my boys too.

But these are situations that they eventually grow out of as soon as they start "smelling themselves" and want the girls to start noticing them.

 

[saitiffeh]

Karkey's suggestion is a good one.... buy him the fancy soaps.... Axe, or whatever. The nice shampoos. They even make loofahs for men. Make it seem as if he gets all the cool, good stuff. Offer them to him and just be like "I know how much you hate showering, so I got these special for you, they're meant for older boys and I doubt anyone at school will use them, but I think you're ready". He'll think he's really lucky!

As for sitting to pee, it's really not so odd! I've dated men who exclusively sat to pee. I wouldn't worry about that too much!

 

[Vixen_17]

Thanks ladies. One of the reasons I want him to stand up to pee is that when he goes to senior school I want him to be the same as his peers - not to be the only one who has to go into a cubicle to do his stuff every time.

Fancy shower gel and your other ideas are fab though so thanks very much for all your replies - very much appreciated!

Thanks again

Vix
-x-

 

[john Alex]

Thanks for sharing these great ideas.

 

[suzib76]

by the time he is at senior school he will decide for himself if he wants to be the same as them or not regardless of what you tell him now - my 8 yo sits to pee and my dh often does too

 

[Amy_T]

I echo the others about the weeing - my husband almost always sits down to wee, he prefers it for some reason! I'm sure he'd be capable of standing up if he decided that's what he wanted when he gets to senior school.

The suggestions about the shower are good - how about a shower radio? then he could listen to music whilst he's in there, might make it a little less boring?

The washing hands thing is tricky - my godmother is an infection control specialist nurse and has told me that alcohol gels aren't enough, soap and water is needed to kill the germs effectively when you've been to the toilet (although alcohol gel is obviously better than nothing). There are them cool automatic soap dispensers now which may be useful?

Good luck - I wouldn't worry too much, as others have said i think it's quite common for boys of that age, he'll soon be spending hours in the bathroom!

 

[Mum_and_Baloo]

Ive got a 12 year old son dat i STILL stand outside the bathroom door shouting in commands to him to "Wash under ur armpits" and "make sure you have rinsed the soap out of your hair". But I agree with Cassie on this one I started to buy my son the fancy shower gels and stuff and he likes to do it now, he even comes out of the bathroom afterwards and asks me if he smells good.
Its worked for me!!!!

As for the toilet situation....it wouldnt bother me too much that hes still sitting down to go, but again for the hand washing.......I would use the alcohol hand gel if handwashing was a problem, i use it with my boys too.

But these are situations that they eventually grow out of as soon as they start "smelling themselves" and want the girls to start noticing them.

My son is 9 and he had the exact same issue in the shower. I now take him shopping for his "smell goods" (thats what we call them at my house lol) He takes so much pride and time in picking out which scent to choose that he is excited to go home and use them!!!! He was so proud that he picked it out himself and is using "adult soap" like "big strong men use" that he is to the point that he is excited to shower everyday!! He sometimes shocks me and goes in early or twice a day!!! Every now and then he will see a commercial advertising his "smell goods" and he gets OBER EXCITED!!! Excited in the way that he thinks that he is using a celeb or super famous soap!! His favorite right now is AXE Before it was Addidas. I also do this with his hand soap, shower gel and deoderant! It worked like a charm! I hope this helps Good luck!!

 

[Mighty Max]

Ok, so I was a 10 year old boy once, and I too was desperate for showering and washing my hands. Showering was a chore, I had much better things to do! And I would "forget to wash my hands" simply because I wasn't bothered. Sometimes i'd simply run my hands under the tap and wipe my hands on my pants. I soon grew out of it (This aversion to hygiene went on from about age 8 to age 11 for me). I grew out of it because I wanted to smell nice for the ladies. I was big for my age, and apparently quite good looking (Those girls should have gone to specsavers, they must have been blind) and got a lot of attention from slightly older girls, and I liked it. So I wanted to impress them so I started stealing my dads aftershave and all that kinda stuff, and I started shaving even though I didn't even need to. It just made me feel cool and mature. So like someone already suggested, maybe get him some grown up toiletries, and make him feel grown up and cool. If he's not interested, give him time. Leave him the stuff.
And as for peeing sitting down, it's a personal decision. If that's what he's comfortable with, then that's fine. I know men who pee sitting down. And although I do stand up, I see nothing wrong with it. But just talk to him, there are some pretty mean kids out their who could mock him if they knew that. But that shouldn't stop him. It's a personal decision. If that's what your son wants to do, leave him be. He can always change his mind!

 

[hopeandpray]

Show him some of the images online from bacteria growing from hand prints. They're pretty grim. And ask him would he not be embarrassed if he got sick from something that he got from his poop!