Help .... =[

[Beccah]

Ever since I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted my babys name to be perfect but the thing is my partners mum has passed away [about 4 years now] and his grandpa has said that if her name is not in the babys name he will be very disappointed. I never really wanted to put family names as middle names I just wanted names that flowed well together and sounded very cute/cool my partner had NEVER mentioned putting his mums name as a middle name before this was said now he says he wants to. On top of that my mum said to him [while tipsy at a family party] that if her name wasnt in the babys name she would be hurt ... I cant help feeling that my babys name is being chosen for me, mean I wasnt even gonna put my own damn name in the babys name let alone anyone elses, now I feel that is his mums name is in it my mums name has to be in it too because I know I couldnt do that to my mum. Any help or advice ?

 

[mrsraggle]

My mum's name is June and my MILs name is Sue. So I've picked Dew as the middle name if we have a girl - it sounds like the beginning of June - Ju.. and rhymes with Sue. Perfect!!

You can pick whatever name you like for your baby - if you both don't want to include your mother's names then don't! It's not down to everyone else.

 

[Sophie1205]

Its YOUR baby not theirs. So its up to you and your OH what the name is and if you dont want to use their names then dont! You wouldnt want to call your child something you didnt want to just to please other people x

 

[Amygdala]

It's your baby and telling you what to name her is VERY unfair. Having said that, I can see that you don't want to argue with people. How aweful are the names? Are there nice forms you could use and would be happy to use? Or maybe middle names that are better? Or a name that means the same but sounds nicer?
Alternatively could you name her something like Angela or Angelina as a middle name which would honour OH's mum but not be her name so your mum could not get jealous? If you don't mind telling us the names, maybe someone can come up with a nice alternative/version?

 

[Lilicat]

There are other ways to honour someone aside from giving the baby their exact name.

• You could choose a name with the same meaning as the name of the person you are honouring.
• You could choose a name from the name root as the name of the person you are honouring.
• You could go for matching intials.
• You could name the baby after something they loved, for example if her favourite flower was a Rose that would be a lovely name.
• As the first poster mentioned you could use parts of both names to make another one.
• You could consider middle names as well as first names if you prefer them.

If you wouldn't mind listing the two names under consideration then people would be able to give you some more specific suggestions.

 

[Kitty23]

eugh I really really hate it when people try and impose names on you. Yes its a nice sentiment but if you don't like the name then don't its your baby! Your mil will always be remembered and not naing your child after her won't mean that she's forgotten or anything. Lol I am really grumpy today and this has annoyed me for you! Don't name your baby after someone if your not 100% you'll just regret it xxx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Thing is its a nice sentiment if its something you & oh decided, not what someone else wants. Not to be offensive i think its pretty rude of your fil to say he will be disappointed if his wifes name isn't included. Thats kinda forcing you & very wrong, as you will feel guilty & now like you have too.
There are many ways to remember people hun, So please don't do this just to suit someone else.

Totally understanding if you have her name why you would feel you now need to add your own mums too, Try explaining this to your oh & that this baby should have a name you both pick not something you are made to feel guilty for then maybe suggest another way to remember his mum so that he doesn't think you are being funny if you get me . x

 

[Beccah]

Well my mums name is elizabeth and my partners mums name was michelle, okay I know they arent terrible but I NEVER would have put either in my babys name because they dont 'grab' me in anyway. What annoys me more is my partner is now up for the idea of putting his mums name in the babys name and refuses to accept the suggestion of changing the name slightly to something I like more or mashing my mums and his mums name together. I feel like I'm the bad cop saying no and hes the good guy cause hes saying yeah to the idea. It pisses me off as he never mentioned it before his grandpa said it and now 'all of a sudden' he wants her name in there. Sometimes I wish I could just pick the babys name =[ but lifes not like that, my mums away on holiday just now but when she gets back I think I might talk to her about this, because I really feel so pressured into agreeing to michelle and part of me feels that if I have that in I have to add my mums because it would hurt her feelings ... and I thought the hardest thing about pregnancy so far was telling people ! At the end of the day if I dont like michelle what can I do [as we are having 2 middle names] so thats basically 1 each ?

 

[AimeeM]

eugh I really really hate it when people try and impose names on you. Yes its a nice sentiment but if you don't like the name then don't its your baby! Your mil will always be remembered and not naing your child after her won't mean that she's forgotten or anything. Lol I am really grumpy today and this has annoyed me for you! Don't name your baby after someone if your not 100% you'll just regret it xxx

Agreed 100%

 

[MUMOF5]

Oh hun i do sympathise with you. I say go with what you want, at the end of the day she's a baby, not a memorial to a deceased family member.

If you dont like the names then you will regret calling her after them and will always be thinking "i wish id called her ......., or i should have called her........ Im quite lucky, as my children have middle names from family members but they are names that i liked so it was ok, and most of them are still alive!

I hope you resolve it. Best of luck, and dont get bullied or pressured into calling her something you are not happy with.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I think it's a lovely sentiment but only if you and OH have chosen it. To me, saying you expect your name / someone's name to be used is like asking your OH to buy you a flowers! Only nice if done without being asked!

 

[asacia]

Has OH mentioned any other names he likes - before this issue came up?

 

[Beccah]

Well I think I may have found a way round this, I was speaking to some friends at lunch and I was thinking my partner said if his mums name is in it can go before the surname leaving the 'first' middle name for me to choose by myself and I was thinking I could shorten my mums name to Eli or Ellie and have a barreled middle name, what do you guys think of Eli-Boe or Ellie-Boe ? Honest answers please lol

 

[Beccah]

Has OH mentioned any other names he likes - before this issue came up?

Yeah LOADS but now hes got this idea in his head there seems to be no changing it, personally I dont know if its cause he now wants it or if he too is just trying to avoid an argument with his grandpa

 

[JessiHD]

Some people find it 'bad luck' to name their children after dead relatives, especially ones that died young. Your partner should support you and people should realise that this is your child not a memorial to them!

 

[JessiHD]

Also, what names did you and your partner want? I'd like to see if there are any variants of the names e.g. Isobel is a variant of Elizabeth.

 

[Beccah]

Isobel is nice but I'm looking for something a bit more 'modern' like Eli or Ellie etc

 

[apple_20]

i have two middle names my dad said they where only going to have one then i was born on my grans birthday so they added her name, it was only after she died they fond her birth certificate and found out she was born the day after (i dont know how she forgot her own birth date) anyway it's still nice to feel apart of her and have a nice meaning for your names. I say name your baby what ever you want it's your decision and i think you can remeber people in so many other ways.
x

 

[AimeeM]

What about Ellie-Beth?

 

[Beccah]

Not crazy on the beth bit, the only reason I put Boe [like bow] is because the name Lily-Boe was on my list but my partner didnt like it