help? :(

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by rubixcyoob., Dec 17, 2009.

  1. rubixcyoob.

    rubixcyoob. Guest

    Can some help me with a few things.
    My dad just told me to never speak to him again and that him and my mum will never change their mind - abortion is the only way they want me to go. They seemingly will never accept my decision.

    So can people please tell me how to go about a few things?
    Making appointments with midwifes as I've not had one yet, apart from the preabortion one which means I know how far along I am and no more.
    What benefits I'd be entitled to as a student, no job atm, and probably no home to come to when I finish my next semester at university.

    Ehm, also, where did you get most of your baby stuff and things like that?

    I thought my mum would help me, obviously not, she won't speak to me unless I ask her something, doesn't acknowledge me when I walk into a room, basically doesn't care or anything. My dad also said I was never to speak to him again because I reminded him he told me that him and my mum wouldn't pressure me into a decision and would support mines entirely. Neither of which they have done.

    Thank you ladies :)
     
  2. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    I don't really have any advice for you, I live in the states and I'm sure things are different here for benefits and such. But I have to admit that I really admire you for keeping your LO with all the pressure from your parents to have an abortion. I hope all gets better soon.
     
  3. to make an appointment with your midwife either go through your docter or ask to make an appointment with the midwife directly at your docters surgury, you should have your first at 12 weeks. Erm as for benefits it depends on who you are living with while you are with your parents you are entitled to only EMA (if your eligable) at 29 weeks you can claim income support. If you move out you can claim job seekers allowence the you will be able to claim income support at 29 weeks. at 25ish weeks you get a grant for £190 and at 29 weeks you get one for £500 which you dont have to repay. You may also be able to apply for the healthy start scheme which gives you milk tokens. You could be eligable for them now.
    As for baby things ebay, freebay, freecycle, local paper and carboots are all good for these of your on a budget.
    Your parents still have time to come round though. My mum didnt talk to me for a week after i told and she only started talking to me because my sister found out she was pregnant. They are just trying to do what they think is best for you. If yu want to chat send me a private msg
    xx
     
  4. Emma91

    Emma91 Well-Known Member

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    I went to the doctors and asked at reception for midwifes office numbers, rang them up and they sorted out who would be my midwife and the appointments.
    As for benefits your entitled to i would make an appointment with your local citizens advice bureau. That really helped me with everything im entitled to. Healthy start vouchers etc.
    Most of my baby things people have either given me or i have got of ebay or picked things up in sales as i dont have that much money.
    Hope i have helped you alittle :hugs:
     
  5. QuintinsMommy

    QuintinsMommy Well-Known Member

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    I can't help cause I am in canada, and things are different here but good luck and stay strong<3
     
  6. rubixcyoob.

    rubixcyoob. Guest

    Thanks guys :)
    I'll talk things over with the OH see if his mum can help with the appointments because shes supportive and such.
    I'll find my local CAB centre and go talk to them too.

    I wish parents would just support you lol.
     
  7. babybaillie

    babybaillie Well-Known Member

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    Hey keep ur chin up, im sure ur parents will come round given time. They are prob just in shock etc. Mine were the same when i was pregnant with my 1st at 17. They didnt speak to me d whole time i was pregnant. But as soon as the LO was born it changed everything... i hope u manage to get money etc all sorted 2
     
  8. shelx

    shelx Mummy to 2 gorgeous boys

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    aww sorry they didnt take the news like u hoped they wanted to :( they might still come round tho, they might just take a bit longer to get their heads round it and get used to the idea of being pregnant! atm at least you have your OHs mum and your OH

    good luck hun x
     
  9. Jas029

    Jas029 Guest

    I'm so sorry your parents took it like that and I hope they come around :hugs:

    I could never imagine saying anything so harsh and trying to push my child into such a horrible life-changing thing..
    You're doing the right thing not aborting this child and if your parents can't see that well that's their problem and their loss on being there for their grandchild..
    I really hope they come around.. I can't believe how some parents can treat their child in such a way.. I haven't even given birth yet and I couldn't imagine just kicking my son out like that..
    I just don't understand how some people can be like that :nope:

    I hope they come around for you and your L/O's sake :hugs:
     
  10. annawrigley

    annawrigley Guest

    im sorry theyre being like that :nope:

    well kim has covered it all tbh! but yea, ring your doctors for a midwifes appointment, they should explain everything to you from there :) and i just wanted to back up that ebay is GREAT!! i have bought pretty much all his baby clothes off there (and i have ALOT ;)). most of it is brand new with tags but so much cheaper than in shops (£1-£2 for most items). freecycle for the bigger things (eg i got a 6 bottle steam steriliser worth £60 off there :thumbup:) is also really good
    and i have like barely any money so it is do-able :)
    good luck with everything!
    xx
    xx
     
  11. gemini xo

    gemini xo Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure your parents will come round sooner or later, it's probably just a big shock for them. Hope everything goes ok! :) x
     
  12. TattiesMum

    TattiesMum Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry that your parents are being like this :hugs: However there is lots of time for them to come around, and I'm sure they will ... they're just frightened and shocked at the moment and desperately worried that you are throwing away your education and future. I'm not saying that they're right, just that it's a kind of knee jerk reaction that comes from loving you so much and wanting what they have always seen as being the best for you up till now:( :hugs:

    As far as appointments go, just make a normal doctor's appointment and tell him/her that you are pregnant and keeping the baby. Your doctor will then arrange for the midwife to either come and visit you, or for you to go to her for a first visit, where she will take all your details. After that the midwife will arrange all your other visits and appointments, including scans and stuff :)

    Benefits are a different thing altogether, and so is housing. Rather than going to CAB I'd make an appointment with the Student Counselling Service at your uni - they will be more used to dealing with the specific help available to students in Higher Ed. I DO know that once LO is here you should be entitled to having all your childcare paid so that you can finish your education(and the uni probably has an on site creche/nursery - most do :) ).

    Getting all the information and planning ahead, including finishing uni, will be a HUGE step towards getting your parents onside as well - once they see that you are really thinking things through I'm sure that they will be re-assured :hugs:

    As the other girls have said ebay, freecycle etc are great for getting baby necessities on a budget, and the grants help a lot .... things will be a lot clearer in that respect too once you know exactly what you are entitled to and how the Uni can help. Don't worry too much about baby stuff right now - things have a way of working themselves out in that repect once you've got the big things like housing and money sorted :)
     
  13. skippy

    skippy Got my furbabies :)

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    Sorry to hear your parents are acting like that! Hopefully they'll come around:flower:
     
  14. xforuiholdonx

    xforuiholdonx Momma to Emma and Coltin!

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    :-o. Read this after I left the last emssage on your page. Jesus your parents are being RIDICULOUS. Thoguh its a big shock to them, I would never through my kid out or disown them because of a pregnancy. You would figure they would want you to come to them for help and support like they always told you they would. Im sorry they're being this way... :-(.
     
  15. vermeil

    vermeil Mom to 27 week wonder+DD

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    wow, how very harsh of your parents.. perhaps one of those more traditional 'the family honor's at stake' point of view?

    Well there are many supportive great ladies here sooo let us know how we can help *hugs*
     

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