Help!

[sem]

Can anybody offer me any advice please, this is the first time i have spoken about it?
i had a miscarriage 18months ago an i have still not got over it. it hurt so much and i had to wait for it to come out of me... the experience physically screwed me up and i couldnt face up to what had happened emotionally so i carried on as normal and never spoke of it and gradually went off the rails.
I lost my partner becasue i couldnt deal with it and now i have finally faced up to what happened and i just dont know how to cope i feel like i'm falling apart!!
This just doesnt seem normal i should have got over it by now!!!!!!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

hun i no exactly how you feel my first m/c was 18 months ago and i never have come to terms with it... since then iv lost 3 more. iv never ever let go..
if u ever wanna chat just PM me.
i no exactly how u feel.
xxxx

 

[sem]

Thanks so much for your reply, i've felt like i am being stupid for being so upset, its so nice to know i'm not on my own and its not abnormal!!
how do you pick up the pieces and move on!!??
xx

 

[buffycat]

hi sem....you're not on your own.......the whole experience seems to haunt me.....

it's difficult, and when people say 'oh time will heal' i want to scream......time does not heal......it only helps you to adjust.....

we're here to scream and rant at if you need to.......

take care


luv & hugs

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

i found it very very hard. i had a m/c 5weeks ago and it hit me the hardest. i was 10 weeks. for 3 weeks i didnt no how to let it go...
the way i look at it is.. if that child was born he/she could have had serious mental or physical problems.
unforchantly mine stems deeper than that im undergoing tests..

i brought an angel for each of my babys. it helped and i had a little bit of my baby left.
just because you learn to get over it yourl never ever forget your baby.

xxx

 

[tansey]

So sorry for your loss and what you have been through.
It's very hard to get over but talking is the only way to help you think through it and try to move on. i still think 'i would be 28weeks now' but i'm focussing on TTC again because i want a baby so much. i will always remember falling pg with the one i MC'd but it's not going to stop me trying for another. We have to be strong to keep going on and get what we want. xx

 

[NikiJJones]

Sem,
So sorry to hear about your loss and how you've been feeling. I'm finding it so difficult to get over my MC of 2 months ago, and I cannot see the pain going away. Having lost your partner must also be so painful for you.
This site has been a huge support to me, and all the ladies here are so, so lovely. I hope that we can offer you some comfort, listen to you, and give you a shoulder to cry on.
Hugs,

 

[linzi74]

Hi

I really do understand how you feel. Becasue no-one really talks about it, I found it was all a big shock to me. It was my first pregnancy and I was floating along on cloud nine oblivious to anything bad that could happen and it did, I miscarried naturally in hospital, but it was a living nightmare. That was in April of this year. All I can say is that by talking about it to other people who have been through the same thing can help, because they truly understand how you feel. Let yourself cry when you want, scream if you feel like it and just let yourself deal with things how you want to. I read a good couple of books which really helped me. I'll find out the titles of them if you like. But one of them was about women's experience of it all and that helped because you didn't feel so alone.
Big hugs to you. If you want to talk feel free to get in touch.
Linzi
xx

 

[Logiebear]

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss hun, it is such a hard thing for any woman to come to terms with and is more common than most people admit. The thing is no one wants to talk about it in polite conversation and that makes it so hard. They seem to pretend like you were never pregnant. I had my second m/c in May and I needed a ERPC to remove the "products" they called them. It sickened me to think that my baby had been reduced to being called a "product."

The thing about time is that it can't help you get over the loss of your unborn child but it can help you to come to terms with what happened, accept it, and then move on. You will never forget and I am damn sure no one ever wants to forget their baby hun and we are all here with similar experiences and feelings to share everything

 

[sem]

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone for all your comments and support!

When i first joined this website i really didnt know what to expect but had to give it a try, i half expected to be told to stop being so selfish after so long but all of your comments have been so kind and caring and i feel so much better already for talking to you all about and understanding that its normal!!

i asked my ex partner round since hearing from you all and just talked to him about the whole experience and how it made me feel, we are still not together but i feel that i can put some kind of closure on that part now that he understands.

My mum sent me a poem this morning about my baby and although it was sad it made me think that i need to cherish the time that i did have with my baby so i wanted to share it with you all.

Thanks again sooooo much for your kind comments.

FOR YOUR BABY



Mummy you could feel me

I know Mummy that you loved me

And Mummy that you love me still



I may not be beside you

But Mummy I am with you

And Mummy I still love you too



The short time that I had you

Was perfect since you loved me

I belonged to you and you to me



The sadness you are feeling

The loss we both shall bear

The pain of what we’re missing makes life tough



Your arms may now be empty

Your heart is surely broken

But Mummy I will always be there



We owe it to eachother

To look forward to better times

I need to hear your laughter

And see beauty throigh your eyes



There is no rush or hurry

This is a journey in itself

Just hold me in your heart as I do you



You will always be my mummy

I will always be your child

The grieving will take time its true

Its hard for those around you

To know what to say or do

But take comfort in their love

Its what they are there to do



We will always recognise that

We should have had eachother

Life has dealt a very cruel blow



BUT



Mummy you could feel me

I know Mummy that you loved me

And Mummy we can love eachother still.

 

[NikiJJones]

Thanks Sem. The poem is beautiful. Made me cry, but it is good to release the tears I find sometimes.
So glad that we have helped you to reach some closure with your ex over this. It is so sad that you are still apart, but it sounds important that you spoke to him about your feelings.
Hugs and more hugs,