Help :(

[Rhio92]

So yeah Some of you may remember I was here before... But me and FOB got back together shortly after Connor was born. Well, now I'm back... For good this time.
Basically, FOB was abusive and controlling. He used to put me down constantly, when I was pregnant I was a fat cow, a slag, a greedy bitch. Now I'm a Mum I'm a waste of space, good for nothing, thick, useless mother. When I was pregnant he hit me on numerous occasions, at 5 weeks, he shoved me into a door frame, banging my head quite badly. I told my family tht I tripped over the cat.
I had an amazing birth experience, apart fromHIM. He refused to stay with mewhilst I was at home, even though I was terrified. At the hospital, he sat on his phone constantly, and told me to shut up, because he was watching the TV.
Since having Connor,I've been slapped, hit and pushed aout constantly, but after he'd always apologise and promise he'd never do it again, and I was always stupid enough to give him another chance.
Well, the other day was the final straw. He started having a go at me in the street, the usual, just calling me and stuff. But thn he hit me and pushed me into a bush, which bloody hurt. I told him he was to leave me and Connor, and not come back to mine. He refused, and came into my house. Long story short, he refused to go, so my brother phoned the police to have him removed. I was stupid though, they asked if I'd been assaulted and i said no I should have told them the truth! Apparently, according to him, i can get in troubl for wasting police time now because apparently didn't have a valid reason to call them out
Jeeez this has gone on long... Sorry! And I've not even got to the point.
Anyways, we're struggling to sort out contact. He expects to be able to see Connor when he wants for as long as he wants, plus take him out. I don't want him to come around to my house, or take him out, plus I need a set time. (I don't want him taking Connor because I don't trust him. He threatens to not bring him back, says things to him like 'Mummy's a bitch connor, we hate her don't we' etc, not to mention he's so bloody immature, he won't even change a nappy. plus connor is exclusively breastfed, and too young IMO)
Going to see a solicitor later... Not sure what to say or do.. Or even if I've got a case tbh. HE says they will just laugh me out the building....
Anyway, last point (sorry!)... What do you do if you still have feelings?! I mean, I LOVE the dick! WTF is wrong with me?! And this whole situation hurts so much

 

[billy2mm]

right first of all you do have a case.

have you any pics of the injuries?
if you are ebf then lo cant be taken overnight or away from you for more than a couple of hours depending on his sleep schedule.
do you have any texts or anything that says he wont take connor back? if you do then show that to the solicitor.

do not listen to your ex. he is playing mind games with you. he is trying to win and you cant let him.

feel free to pm me whenever coz we have been in very similar situations.

 

[manda22]

I'm so sorry you went through this. You definitely have a case. Do not let him intimidate you. I would call and make arrangements to stop his visits. I don't know how it works in the um but call and explain your situation and your concerns.

 

[Mumof42009]

I would go to the police if you have any marks on you and report him. I would also sort an injunction out to stop him coming anywhere near you.
If you tell them everything he will proberly only get contact in a centre supervised.x

 

[Rhio92]

Thanks for all your advice
I went to see a solictor, and gave her what I posted (I printed it off Didn't trust myself to say everything!)
She's told me that practically everything he's said is bullshit basically. That if I don't want him to take Connor, he wont get to (at this age). We agreed on 6 hours a week where he'd come over to see Connor (she said I was being very, very generous) and if he didn't leave after, I was to call the police, and she'd halt contact. She's writing to him to let him know.
She was amazing. Her words were 'he sounds like pathetic, controlling little boy' Obv he can get a solicitor himself if he doesn't like it, but I very much doubt he will. He's got no balls or get up and go about him...
So glad I had the guts to go! x

 

[mummyApril]

for one i am so sorry you have gone through this that 'man' should never be allowed children! im sorry if you dont like what i say but i hate things like this it makes me so angry as have been in similar situation myself, not as bad but still, first off i would say no to any contact unless he sought anger management! some sort of help! the court will not allow him to see the child if he is abusive! you need to write down everything that he says does to you, the last thing you want is for Connor to be in the middle of this and in the end he will be if you allow this 'thing' to be involved at this moment in time. It is hard to switch off love but in the end you can turn all that love to your son and only think of you and your son, i hope you get this sorted out and real soon xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Oh my gosh. Good on you for getting away from him and for getting yourself a solicitor.

Just do yourself a favour and never, EVER get back with this vile, pathetic excuse for a man again, yeah? He's not worth the air he breathes chick.

I'm surprised the solicitor agreed to offer him time with Connor at your home tbh, considering the abuse. Is someone going to be there with you? Maybe get a mate to sit in with you while he's there, incase he turns? Send him out if he starts chatting shit aswell, you don't have to sit there and listen to him calling you for allkinds.

Hope it goes well

 

[Mumof42009]

Glad you got something sorted but make sure somebody is with you when he comes to see your ds. If he does push his luck stop contact and he will have to fight to see him.