hes introduced them 3 times!(rant)

[Dream.dream]

and theyve only been dating 3 weeks. stupid fob let his gf meet my son behind my back when he was supposed to be visiting his grandparents. im so mad. and she has the nerve to message me today and say he has every right to do whatever he wants with my son because hes his father.

im sorry but bull. he has not rights to him and after this he will never be taking him anywhere again.

 

[dustbunny]

and theyve only been dating 3 weeks. stupid fob let his gf meet my son behind my back when he was supposed to be visiting his grandparents. im so mad. and she has the nerve to message me today and say he has every right to do whatever he wants with my son because hes his father.

im sorry but bull. he has not rights to him and after this he will never be taking him anywhere again.

He was majorly out of line introducing her at all, let alone so many times, seeing as they have only been dating 3 weeks and to have lied about where your LO was. SHE was beyond majorly out line messaging you. What the hell did she do that for anyway?? Who does she think she is?!? I would be so mad if I were you, I am mad reading this on your behalf!

I would have a serious word with him, don't take any rubbish from him and tell him his new 'girlfriend' to not message you again.

 

[BadassMom]

I got mad just reading this!! In addition to what he did wrong, how DARE that girl message you and tell you what the right thing to do for your child is!?!?!

 

[rose.wombwell]

FFS!!!
im seriously loosing ALL faith in men being good dads!! this is ridiculos. i know people say its not the gf's fault etc... but she needs to keep her nose out and fuck off!!!!!

 

[Dream.dream]

update: now hes messaging me to and called to yell at em. he told me that i need to stay out of his relationship and i have no right to sensor his life. Excuse me but he got me involved in his relationship when he decided to lie to take my son to see her.
also he said he only lied because he tryed to ask me and i said no. 1 he didnt try to talk to me and 2) even if he did try and i said no, that mean NO not go behind my back to do what you want anyways. This girl then put on face book that im a hypocrite and i should think before i open my mouth or my legs? like really? I was in a relationship with him when i got pregnant and i didnt do that by myself either?

he has no right to make those decisions so as he was given the priviledge of unsupervised visitation and abused it. its going back to only being able to see my son supervised. and ive decided now that even if they stay together for 6 months i still will be iffy about her being around my son especially after they way she treated me.

My only little happy moment is hes 2000 dollars behind on child support and maintence enforcement is going to suspend his licencse and vehicle registration. I could tell him but i think he deserves to deal with the consiquences of being a deadbeat

 

[Dezireey]

OOOh like others I got mad just reading this. Your child, your rules and you entrust your child's wellbeing to his father who then lies about where he is taking him. Totally unacceptable and I agree, he has abused this trust so no way would I allow him to see his son unsupervised again. For cripes sake, it's not just about him taking him to see the Gf. It's about lying about where he is. Anything could have happened and you would have had no idea where your child was. What a tool.

 

[Dream.dream]

see other moms understand! Why cant men? why are their so many dads who claim to love their kids but would do things like this to them. he also has ditched out on his visit again tonight. the thing that upsets me most is it doesnt matter to the court they wont take away his visitation. he beat his last girlfriend in front of her 2 year old but they still wont make him go away

 

[daveww]

just read all of the posts thro and understand and agree with mainly everything thats said. the mother of my daughter feels it completly fine to introduce her to every new partner after only a matter of weeks. what i have come to learn tho is... when the child is with the mother they can introduce the child to whomever they choose and when child is with father they can do the same. i do not agree it should be the case but it just is. if as a mother you choose to introduce the child to a new partner would you ask the father first? if he said no would you go ahead and do it anyway? .... it really boils down to whichever parent the child is with on any particular day it is that parent who makes the decision to whom the child is introduced to... its not right and i wish it did not happen.

 

[dustbunny]

just read all of the posts thro and understand and agree with mainly everything thats said. the mother of my daughter feels it completly fine to introduce her to every new partner after only a matter of weeks. what i have come to learn tho is... when the child is with the mother they can introduce the child to whomever they choose and when child is with father they can do the same. i do not agree it should be the case but it just is. if as a mother you choose to introduce the child to a new partner would you ask the father first? if he said no would you go ahead and do it anyway? .... it really boils down to whichever parent the child is with on any particular day it is that parent who makes the decision to whom the child is introduced to... its not right and i wish it did not happen.

If the FOB was interested in being a part of LO life then yes, if I acquired a new partner I would ask him if he felt it was OK to introduce another person into LO life. I would therefore expect the same respect in return, not merely it being down to who has the child on which day... parenting, if both are involved, is on a co basis... which means basic same rules for everyone involved. This goes from discipline to everyday events etc, therefore stability can be inforced etc... it can't be that one parent does one thing whilst another does something different just because it is their day.

So I stick with my previous statement that the FOB was majorly out of line... especially his gf who has no right to become involved in such matters.

 

[Dream.dream]

just read all of the posts thro and understand and agree with mainly everything thats said. the mother of my daughter feels it completly fine to introduce her to every new partner after only a matter of weeks. what i have come to learn tho is... when the child is with the mother they can introduce the child to whomever they choose and when child is with father they can do the same. i do not agree it should be the case but it just is. if as a mother you choose to introduce the child to a new partner would you ask the father first? if he said no would you go ahead and do it anyway? .... it really boils down to whichever parent the child is with on any particular day it is that parent who makes the decision to whom the child is introduced to... its not right and i wish it did not happen.

when i got together with my partner we were together for 6 months before he met my son and when he did it was with myself and his dad and family present. i did talk to him before hand. he just knows that i wont allow other halfs to meet my son until im sure its a serious relationship. his dad however just wants to play the "good daddy" to get the girls. hes had 4 girlfriends in 6 months so i dont agree with introducing them to my son.

also the whole who ever has them on that day makes decisions is bull. kids need stablity and good parents should try and be consistentabout the rules. so if my boyfriend had to wait 6 months to meet my son so does his new girlfriend and i want to meet her aswell. i wont have some stranger i dont trust around my son.

 

[daveww]

i agree with both above posts and think it is great how you introduced the child with the father present and the family its wonderfull that you did that and he should certainly have to do the same if he was ever to introduce a girlriends to the child. i agree with this completely.
the point i was trying to put across was that...... and this is from personal experience by the way! .... if eithier parent in my case the mother wants to introduce every new partner she has to my child she does not legally have to consult me tell me or even mention it. i think this is so wrong and not right for the child. but after going thro the legal process it was explained to me in no uncertain terms that yes it would be great if parents could make decisions such as this together and it would certainly be in the childs best intrests to do just that but ultimately and legally speakin its is up to the parent who is carin for the child on any particular day to decide whomever they introduce to the child
also the whole who ever has them on that day makes decisions is bull. kids need stablity and good parents should try and be consistentabout the rules
the above quote is exactly what i think , it is complete bull!!! and kids do need stability
the sad truth of it is tho that it is completly true and legal! the way the law works it boils down to the parent on the day who has the child

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

has his new girlfriend got children? Cos i can gurantee she hasnt! If she had, she should have alot more common sense & realise herself that 3 weeks is too soon to be meeting somebodys kids! Mindya, being a parent or not a parent, you'd think any human being would find it a little early to meet their partners kids after 3 weeks .. Thats if you can even call them a partner after 3 weeks x

 

[hopefuljaners]

my partner had 2 children when we met and now we have a baby so i can see the two sides, however it is completely wrong for the FOB to introduce the child to their new partner so soon, i was with my partner for 4 months before i met his children and i met them as their daddy's friend at first, not girlfriend so that there was no pressure on them. i got to know them for a few months and then told them i was their daddy's girlfriend and now we have a 9 month old baby, they have a new little brother and they stay with us 3 times a week and have their own room with us and me and their daddy are together 3 years.

3 weeks is waaaaay to early to meet a new partner, her messaging you is completely immature, unneccesary and wrong. and what she wrote on facebook is ridiculous!
and he is completely wrong to go behind your back, as primary caregiver, you as the child's mother has to know where your child is at all times if you are entrusting someone else with your child, and that includes their father if the two of you are no longer together, so in order to get the respect you deserve as the child's mother, i would get visiting days and times agreed through solicitors and conditions of the visits set out - for example one condition being that you are to be made aware where your child is if he is taking the child anywhere and another condition being that your child is not to be in the company of a new partner until you have met them and given ur ok, and if these conditions or days and times arrangements are broken then he loses his unsupervised visits.

In my case my partner's ex was completely irrational and didnt seem to care what happened with her children as she never once asked to meet me before i met her children, she was just glad to have the children staying out of the house a few times a week, nomatter what but if she had of wanted to meet me i wouldn't of thought twice as its about whats best for the children at the end of the day and children should not be introduced to different new partners willy nilly and that goes for both the mother's new partners and the fathers.

The last thing you should do though is to get into any messaging or facebooking with the new girlfriend as its only going to cause drama!

good luck!

 

[daveww]

i thought thist mite be of help to explain what i had previously posted...

When your daughter is with her mother, it is for the mother to decide who she sees and what she does and except in very specific circumstances (such as going abroad, but only if you have Parental Responsibility) she does not need to consult you on this.
This is also the same when you have your daughter, it would be for you to decide who she sees and what she does.

A parent does not have a right to information regarding the other parent’s new partner. You are able to ask for it, however if it is refused you have no legal right to any information what so ever.

... i dont agree with it at all but sadly its the law... so its quite acceptable for your partner(in the eyes of the law) to lie to you and introduce the child to a new girlfriend every weeks if he wants

 

[Dream.dream]

ive read on here recently some one has a claus in their court order that states they arnt aloud to have signifigant others around when they are visiting their child. Im seriously looking into getting this. ive had enough he tryed again this weekend to itroduce after me being stupid agreed to bring my son somewhere so he could show my son his buddys cool car at a car show.my gut told me it was a bad idea. I stayed there to look around and low and behold guess who was there. he tryed to claim he had no intention of her seeing my son but im not stupid!