ArtsyTTC2014
TTC #1 - Cycle 1
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2013
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi guys,
We have been waiting because my Fiance hasn't been ready. No specific reason he just says he isn't ready. For awhile he just "wasn't ready", then he went through a phase of "i don't know if I ever want kids" which made us discuss our relationship (family is not a debatable subject for me - being a mum is a make it or break it for me.)
We have been together 7 years now and as our life becomes more "on track" - career, college, savings, car, etc etc etc. he seems to be coming around. He has gone from "not sure if ever" to "eventually" to "soon" in the last year, so progress has been made and that is wonderful!
I have pushed a bit though ok, maybe a tad more than a bit? I have tried very hard not to nag but there is this aching in my heart, in my stomach. This desire to be a mum. I am so driven to become a mum and yet so concerned that we will become pregnant and he won't want it . that he will feel like he has been forced or not love the kid or something (someone tell me this is irrational please.)
I have tried to back off as far as possible. He compromised for this Spring which has me over the moon but now I am questioning it in my head -- I finally got the answer I wanted and now I am questioning it, that's nuts, right? But it's so huge and life changing. I've asked him about 4 times if he just agreed to agree to shut me up (he has done that with stupid small things, and I doubt he would do it with something gigantic like a baby but ya know I can be really persistent and hard headed ) he insisted he hasn't so I am trying not to drive him mad by asking anymore.
I am trying to leave well enough alone.
Anyway, has anyone else experienced a hesitant SO? How has it turned out? I kind of am thinking about pushing the whole thing back but then if I do that he will be like "wtf you fought for this to happen in January or February!" plus I can't tell how much of this is cold feet on my part.
I am intact planning to bring all this up to him we do in fact communicate (lol) I just wanted to know if we are the only couple with one half who is hesitant about having a kiddo or not. He says he will get use to the idea, he isn't against it, he will love it. He just doesn't seem idk? I guess I want him to be excited maybe thats a guy thing? IDK. Maybe Im weird.
PS. TTC for us isn't just sex, we are using a donor (sperm bank) and doing at-home insemination because he is infertile and its a whole big fiasco. I have a brain injury & epilepsy so I am high risk. There are just a million and one pieces to our puzzle.
Sorry for the wall of text and the rant / also this probably makes me sound like the worst fiancé ever, like I'm forcing a kid on the man. Sorry about that too. I swear Im not.
-Jess
We have been waiting because my Fiance hasn't been ready. No specific reason he just says he isn't ready. For awhile he just "wasn't ready", then he went through a phase of "i don't know if I ever want kids" which made us discuss our relationship (family is not a debatable subject for me - being a mum is a make it or break it for me.)
We have been together 7 years now and as our life becomes more "on track" - career, college, savings, car, etc etc etc. he seems to be coming around. He has gone from "not sure if ever" to "eventually" to "soon" in the last year, so progress has been made and that is wonderful!
I have pushed a bit though ok, maybe a tad more than a bit? I have tried very hard not to nag but there is this aching in my heart, in my stomach. This desire to be a mum. I am so driven to become a mum and yet so concerned that we will become pregnant and he won't want it . that he will feel like he has been forced or not love the kid or something (someone tell me this is irrational please.)
I have tried to back off as far as possible. He compromised for this Spring which has me over the moon but now I am questioning it in my head -- I finally got the answer I wanted and now I am questioning it, that's nuts, right? But it's so huge and life changing. I've asked him about 4 times if he just agreed to agree to shut me up (he has done that with stupid small things, and I doubt he would do it with something gigantic like a baby but ya know I can be really persistent and hard headed ) he insisted he hasn't so I am trying not to drive him mad by asking anymore.
I am trying to leave well enough alone.
Anyway, has anyone else experienced a hesitant SO? How has it turned out? I kind of am thinking about pushing the whole thing back but then if I do that he will be like "wtf you fought for this to happen in January or February!" plus I can't tell how much of this is cold feet on my part.
I am intact planning to bring all this up to him we do in fact communicate (lol) I just wanted to know if we are the only couple with one half who is hesitant about having a kiddo or not. He says he will get use to the idea, he isn't against it, he will love it. He just doesn't seem idk? I guess I want him to be excited maybe thats a guy thing? IDK. Maybe Im weird.
PS. TTC for us isn't just sex, we are using a donor (sperm bank) and doing at-home insemination because he is infertile and its a whole big fiasco. I have a brain injury & epilepsy so I am high risk. There are just a million and one pieces to our puzzle.
Sorry for the wall of text and the rant / also this probably makes me sound like the worst fiancé ever, like I'm forcing a kid on the man. Sorry about that too. I swear Im not.
-Jess
