hi can i have some advice please

[dawnmichelle]

hello iam 28 weeks pregnant, and me and fob spilt up when i told him, he was always quite controling and when i told him i was pregnant he told me i wouldnt cope and told me not to tell anyone else or tell my 8 year old daughter, I didnt like him controling me so i ended the relationship (was 2 years on and off).
He then got a bit nasty and told me he would get custody if i kept the baby and sent me nasty txts.
so that was it i didnt contact him after that i told him to stop sending me txts and stop ringing me. Then a few days ago he sent a txt saying to let him know if i needed anything for the baby, we got talking a bit and he said he wants to take the baby when hes born to his parents house and he wants to have him overnight not long after hes born, i was stuck for words because he was being so nice and i agreed to this, but after wards i was horrified at the thought of him taking my baby away from me and i couldnt stop crying i feel so stupid for agreeing to something i wasnt happy with but hes very dominearing and if he doesnt get his own way he gets nasty. Sorry for the long thread, just to add his house is like a building site and he said he will do a bedroom and get a cot and i could 'give him a bottle of milk' i want to breastfeed, any advice would be appreciated thankyou ladies xxxxx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Hi hun. Firstly

Personally I won't be letting FOB have A overnight until I'm ready. Let FOB know that you aren't comfortable with it and if he isn't happy say you'll be happy to arrange access through the courts - they wouldn't grant overnights whilst you're breast feeding and not ready x

 

[LittleMadam]

Agree with Dopey. You are allowed to change your mind. Also, if you want to breastfeed, I suggest you insist on it and same for overnight visits. As he is the father, there is no harm in being fair (especially as he is interested.) But do not let him push you into doing things that you are not comfortable with.

Btw, FOB won't have any rights to LO unless he is on the birth certificate or unless you're married. (He would have to go through the courts to get them.) My suggestion would be not to add him to the bc as he is controlling enough as it is.

Hope things work out. xx

 

[pinkjellylegs]

My son didnt stay with his dad overnight till he was old enough to sleep through! If you are breast feeding they need to be with you and trust me when i say you wont be happy without lo with you. You can change your mind when you want and no one can make you do anything you arent happy doing. Dont worry about it things will work out, once lo is here you will find the courage to say no to fob!