Hi everyone, happyabi whos so angry !

[Happyabi]

Hi all

Firstly, I wanted to say how fantastic this site is and thank god everyone has something to sound off and and share all their stories with such nice people.

I had my 2nd miscarriage last monday - went for a 12 week scan had a feeling somethign was wrong as I had pains 4 weeks before and they wouldnt scan me as said it was just scar tissue from the last 2 c-secs i had (last one 5 years ago)

Low and behold when we got in there the baby had died at 8 weeks - same things as what had happened to me last time althought I bled last time, this time had no blood at all.

So the consultant says the best thing i can do is go home for up to 2 weeks and let it all happen naturally - I didnt want this as had 3/4 days of pains and passing last time so wanted a d&c - they tell me they cant fit me for at least a week (already knowing the baby is dead in side me for the last 2 weeks)...I also asked if they could tell me why its happened twice at 8 weeks they say no it has to happen 3 times for them to do any tests

I then realise I have provate medical with my work - I bring this to their attention and low and behold I can go to the private hosptial that night and have the operation! I am so cross they can trat you so much more like a human being if you have pricate - As I say I dont pay my company does as i couldnt afford that luxury (although I have to find £100 for the excess)
I am now having tests done As again I am private - Im just so mad how the system works....
Im so angry at the whoel thing I still dont think I have grieved yet...

Anyway rant over for now thanks for listeneing, has anyone else had anything like this happen?

Abi xx

 

[golcarlilly]

Hi Abi,

It is very unfair that private patients get priority!! good for you though, you may as well make use of it to your benefit! I have done really well through the NHS and have no complaints (so far at least!) the treatement I have received has been prompt and excellent so I take my hat off to them in my case.


I really feel for you, it must be terrible to be in that situation for the second time, this is my first (and pray to god only) miscarriage and it is without a doubt the most traumatic thing I have ever gone through, I just wish it would hurry up and be over! You are right, this forum is an absolute lifeline to a lot of us, I have a fantastic hubby and supportive family and friends but I have benefited so much from the help and advice I have received on here from people who know exactly how I am feeling

hope you get through this soon

Tracy

 

[Vickie]

Welcome to the forum!

So sorry to hear of your previous losses.

 

[Happyabi]

Thanks for that

Its just so nice that you know your not alone. Im sp glad you have been treated well, as i was just so disgusted with the treatment till you play the private card, must be just my area...So I guess the anger still hasnt gone, enough for me to grieve, as I havent really had a good cry and Im now back at work...

Im now going throught the stage where Im feeling all insecure, as although ive been with my partner the last 3 years - I have 2 children with my last marriage and this would of been my partners 1st child, and I have lost both of his babies...
Its so unfair, now i think why would be want to stay with me, maybe my eggs are old?!
Im 35 in Aug hes only 27....

Abi xx

 

[golcarlilly]

Thanks for that

Its just so nice that you know your not alone. Im sp glad you have been treated well, as i was just so disgusted with the treatment till you play the private card, must be just my area...So I guess the anger still hasnt gone, enough for me to grieve, as I havent really had a good cry and Im now back at work...

Im now going throught the stage where Im feeling all insecure, as although ive been with my partner the last 3 years - I have 2 children with my last marriage and this would of been my partners 1st child, and I have lost both of his babies...
Its so unfair, now i think why would be want to stay with me, maybe my eggs are old?!
Im 35 in Aug hes only 27....

Abi xx

He loves you that's why silly!! I am in the same situation, I have a daughter to my first husband, she is 14 and my new hubby doesn't have any kids, i feel so bad that I lost his first child and like you am worried my eggs are too old - I am 39 this year (OMG!!), I expressed this concern to him and he just said don't be so daft!!

 

[Happyabi]

See thats why this is so good Im not the only one whos in this postion and thought I was going crazy!

he keeps saying to me we will try again but then he says I dont want you to go through it all again, then says your so brave for not crying all the time (he doesnt know what to do if i cry) so is being very supportive

I guess its cos when i was pregnant especially this time as we had waited a whole year to try again, we got on so well no arguements and everything seemed perfect...and he made such an effort, but hes seems really odd with me now

But I guess its all being bottled up and its all in my head and hormonal!

Abi x

 

[golcarlilly]

Men find it difficult to express how they feel most of the time and sometimes it comes out in funny ways methinks! my hubby said he was not hugging me as much as he wanted to cos every time he did I burst into tears and he didnt want to upset me more!! He is also worried about us trying again as this has been so hard on me physically and I must admit I am terrified at the thought of it but I so desperately want his child

 

[golcarlilly]

OOH just re-read your post and how much of a coincidence is this - my OH is only 30 and I am as I said nearly 39 - we both have Toy Boys

 

[tillymum]

Hope you are doing ok, I'm going through the same thing too. Be strong and cry when you need to and big hugs to you.

 

[porkpie1981]

Hi and welcome.

I hoep u feel better soon. Also its not ur fault u had a mc as theres lots of factors to it eg could have been a bad sperm o.r egg(who knows). Honestly dont blame urself.

 

[Happyabi]

Thanks for all your lovely replys...

I have got my apt through for 27th May to see whats occuring - they took a load of bloods from me, not sure if they took some of what they removed from me in surgery to test that too - as i was so keen to get out of hospital I didnt ask!

Is anyone else still bleeding - I have ben for 9 days now, not loads but really annoying me...
Abi x