Hi Im new and would love some advice please x

[buddie86]

Hi All, my Name is Sophie, Im 24 this month, I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter.
In Feb this year I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant, we were shocked but very excited as we weren't trying, my AF's were so irregular! usually every couple of weeks for a few days.

Had our 12 week scan, I was blooming! Had MW check up at 17 wks, all was fine.

Then on 25th May we went for our 20 scan (I was 21 weeks)
The baby was being an awkward monkey and wouldn't lie properly, then he did. And she asked me to go out for a wee and come back.... I KNEW something was wrong.
I went back in and she told us that she couldn't see part of his heart
So she booked us in to come back the following day for the Consultant to scan me..
I was so scared, we never had any more explanation, so went home wondering what the hell was wrong!
So went in on the Wednesday, the consultant was certain he had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, but didn't want to confirm it. She took a sample of my amniotic fluid as I hadn't bothered testing for downs at the 12 week, as you dont think something so awful would happen to you at a young age.
So the consultant arranged for us to have a tele link to Bristol the next day for the top baby heart surgeon to look.
He confirmed it and it was a very severe case, he didn;t know if he even had everything intact.
He offered us to go up to see him the following Tuesday for another scan...
What was the point? His survival rate at birth was minimal.

I had 3 options given to me.
1, Let him go to sleep at 22 weeks,
2, carry on full term, have a CS and watch him die slowly
3, carry him, hope he survives 3 op's

I couldn't do either of the last 2, it would have been even more heart breaking carrying him for another 4 1/2 months for him to die

So on the 1st of June I was given 4 hormone tablets and sent home until the 3rd when I went in to be induced. I cried so much for all this time my head constantly hurt! But I made the most of having him in my belly.
I had allsorts of things for him, I had a blanket for him to be put in as soon as he was born, another one for him to go in when we said good bye. He had teddies, photos etc
I gave birth to my beautiful baby son Ryan James at 16.28 on 3/6/10, he was born looking perfect, peaceful and happy.
We spent nearly 5 hours holding and kissing him, telling him how much we loved him. And took hundreds of photos!
Then 15th June we had his funeral at the crematorium, we had a lovely service, and we collected his ashes the following day.

It sounds silly but I think I greived before I even gave birth to him, it was our decision and we had a long weekend to grieve. Im not saying I dont cry now, I do if I want to, I speak to him all the time.

Im just so desperate to Try again!

Heres my dates of whats going on with my body

Ryan was born 3/6
Bled until 8/6 also TTC'd that eve

AF 12/6-18/6

19/6 (Day before OV) I had a horrid metal taste in my mouth
20/6-23/6 OV TTC every day I OV'd and a couple days before and after.

28/6 Slight cramps and light brown discharge, but not worth wearing a pad, has been on and off since Mon??

Been woken up everynight since Mon feeling sick, I had this for 2 weeks before I found out I was PG with Ryan,
I feel nauseas constantly, and occasionally I cant focus on things if that makes sense?

Im due AF 9-10th July.

Could I be pregnant??

So sorry for the long post!
Any opinions would be grately recieved
I look forward to getting to know every one on here
Sophie xxx

 

[LucyJ]

Hello Sophie, I have no words I am so very sorry for your loss. You sound like an incredibly strong lady. You will find a lot of support here.

 

[buddie86]

Thank You Lucy, TBH if I didnt have Aliyah my DD I dont think I would be coping! But I have to for her sake, she's such a bright intelligent little girl, she's been our rock. She loves talking about Ryan, as far as she's concerned she has a baby bro but the angels took him away as he was poorly and he was too special for this world xxxx

 

[vickyd]

Buddie im soo sorry for your loss. I too had to give birth at 22 weeks and i was the most devastating time in my life.... I cant give you any advice on if your symptoms mean anything but im hoping everything works out the way you want!

 

[Halley]

Sophie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope you don't mind me saying may Ryan sleep tight!
This is a great site, full of amazing ladies so you can get all the support and answers you need. It sounds like you could be pregnant, are you planning on doing a test before, or after AF if it hasn't shown up?
Good luck honey x

 

[buddie86]

Im so desperate to do a test! will try one beginning of next week. In a way I feel bad for wanting another one so quick, but I feel so empty
We will never forget our beautiful little prince. I think if he hadn't come out so perfect I would have been more upset, but for the hours I spent with him I was on a high!
The weekend before I had him, we had a 4D scan done which came with a DVD, so we have something we can watch of him alive

I never thought I could get so obcessed with TTC!

xxx

 

[Rikki]

Hi. So sorry for yor loss. I lost a baby at 19 weeks and I know how heartbreaking it is.

I am amazed at how quickly you got your period. I lost my baby boy on 3/5 and was still bleeding 4 weeks later and have just got my first AF today - more than 8 weeks later! And even that doesn't seem right so I'm starting to think I'm not ovulating.

Obviously if you have been trying there is a chance you could be pregnant. Sounds like you have symptoms. The only problem is all the waiting until you can test!

Good luck, I hope you get your BFP. x

 

[buddie86]

Hi Rikki, I only bled for 10 days after having DD, she was 8 days over due!
Im hoping and praying I dont see another Af
xx

 

[mummyto3]

aww hunni sound like u cud be good ;uck xx

 

[aussiettc]

firstly sorry that you have had to go through a loss, like everyone else said there are alot of people on here that are very supportive.

While i truely hope that everything works out the way you would like pleae bear ing mind that it may take a very long time for your HCG levels to drop down again. Have you had any blood work done to track you level back to 0

 

[Rikki]

Hi Rikki, I only bled for 10 days after having DD, she was 8 days over due!
Im hoping and praying I dont see another Af
xx

Wow, I hate AF and luckily it usually lasts for only 3/4 days. I think I bled for about 4 weeks after my births. At one point I had a coil and I bled 3 weeks out of 4. Excellent side effect of being pregnant is no AF!!!!

Fingers crossed for you not getting another AF for the next 9 months! xx

 

[buddie86]

Hi Aussiettc I asked my nurse last week if I could have bloods done, but because Im so fertile (Only DTD twice with both kids!) There's a high chance I am going to fall quick, she said if Im still struggling 3 months down the line then maybe look in to doing tests etc, and she said I need to be bleeding to have the bloods done? But I was OV'ing when I saw her.

Rikki- I have always been lucky with light periods, but they haven't always been regular. I was on the depo for years after DD and came off it Sept 2009 as i had a constant AF for the last injection! (3 months!) We were very careful up until after Xmas when OH and I thought we'd just let nature do its thing, not expecting to fall PG after DTD twice!

Im so hoping I am! Im driving myself mad now not knowing! xx

 

[Halley]

when you going to test hun? xx

 

[buddie86]

When do you think is the earliest and best time? xx

 

[Rikki]

When do you think is the earliest and best time? xx

Hi - going by your Ov dates (did you test for Ov?) theoretically you could probably test in the next couple of days. Going by your AF dates, I would wait until at least next friday. Just my opinion though - I'm no expert!

 

[buddie86]

Yes tested OV, I might buy some tescos specials to try, I have a early response one but dont want to waste it if its too early lol!

xx

 

[Rikki]

Superdrug tests are 10mui/l and can show 4 days before period. They are £3.99 for 1 test, £4.99 for 2 tests. But they have an offer 2 for £6 (single tests) 2 for £8 double tests. It's worth it if you need a few tests and I actually found these better than the first response ones. If you buy the 2 for £8 that's only £2 a test which is a pretty good bargain. And no I don't work for Superdrug!! The Tesco ones are good but they don't detect as early and I believe Asda are similar to the Tesco ones.

Good luck, hope you get your BFP.

 

[aussiettc]

Hi Aussiettc I asked my nurse last week if I could have bloods done, but because Im so fertile (Only DTD twice with both kids!) There's a high chance I am going to fall quick, she said if Im still struggling 3 months down the line then maybe look in to doing tests etc, and she said I need to be bleeding to have the bloods done? But I was OV'ing when I saw her.

Rikki- I have always been lucky with light periods, but they haven't always been regular. I was on the depo for years after DD and came off it Sept 2009 as i had a constant AF for the last injection! (3 months!) We were very careful up until after Xmas when OH and I thought we'd just let nature do its thing, not expecting to fall PG after DTD twice!

Im so hoping I am! Im driving myself mad now not knowing! xx

Wow i'm not sure what the nurse was talking about but you don't have to be bleading to have you HCG levels checked. HCG levels tell you if you are pregnant or not and the way they rise can tell you how healthy the pregnacy is. Good luck with the testing. Fxed you get your BFP soon

 

[stacey_]

hunny i just want to give you a massive hug! reading what you wrote, it made me cry... you can tell how much you love him through your words...
good luck with TTC i'll be keeping an eye out and hope to hear some good news soon

xxxx