hiding to count

[Scout]

Just curious if anyone else's child does this... My daughter (4yr old) hides if she is adding or subtracting anything over 5. In other words, if I ask her what is 9 minus 3, she'll say she has to think about it and then she turns around so I can't see her. I know she's using her fingers to figure it out, and I don't understand why she doesn't want me to see. I've never said anything about using her fingers to count.

Also, she hides to spell too.(she's reading the letters but wants me to think she can spell the word) She'll tell me she can spell something and then go behind a chair or something and spell. I know it's to hide the fact that she has a book and is reading the letters, but why?? It's so odd to me.

 

[SarahBear]

She's obviously self conscious about not knowing the answers. It isn't necessarily anything to do with anything you've done. It's just part of her personality. Just continue to encourage her. I'd probably make a point of modeling how to handle not knowing the answers to something. That way she learns that it's OK to not know the answers and that even adults have to think through and figure things out. I'd also make a point of talking about things from a growth mindset perspective.... Or is she just having fun pretending she knows more than she does?

 

[Scout]

She's obviously self conscious about not knowing the answers. It isn't necessarily anything to do with anything you've done. It's just part of her personality. Just continue to encourage her. I'd probably make a point of modeling how to handle not knowing the answers to something. That way she learns that it's OK to not know the answers and that even adults have to think through and figure things out. I'd also make a point of talking about things from a growth mindset perspective.... Or is she just having fun pretending she knows more than she does?

I don't know if she's just having fun pretending to know more than she does. She is the one who brings up adding or subtracting, and even spelling, and then I just continue it. I grew up being a perfectionist, and I worry she may be the same. I've been stressing how much more important it is to be kind and a good friend than getting correct answers on a sheet at school, and also talking about how proud I am when she fails at something because that means she tried something she didn't already know how to do, but I don't know if any of that makes a difference.

I never thought of modeling how to handle not knowing an answer, so I'll start doing that too. I do say, "I don't know", quite a bit. You know all the questions a 4 year old can ask.

Thanks for replying.