Well where do I start. I am 30 years old. I am the proud mother of two wonderful little boys who are 3 & 1.
I am 13 weeks 1 day pregnant. Yesterday I had my NT redone because they could not get it the week before. The technician took forever and would not let me see the screen while she was taking the measurements. She left the room stating that she needed to look on her big screen. She asked who my OB was and when I was seeing him. Let my sister in the room showed us the little baby moving around complete with 2 arms and legs fingers and toes. Drinking a lot. ( my husband is away on business).
When I was given the IPS paper work the NT measurement was 4.8mm, which I knew was extremely high. My boys were 1.4 and 1.5 respectfully. I took a seat in the hospital lobby all alone, took out my Blackberry to verify was I already knew and then began to weep. I contacted my husband to explain how things went and cryed. I called my OB asked if he had any openings because I needed to speak with my OB. They called the hospital and called me back right away saying he had room and would see me as soon as I got there. The receptionist and nurse were fabulous. They came in asked if my husband was coming. Asked if they could call, I looked up and said it's bad isn't it......She replied ya it's really bad. She said I needed to find someone to come in and be with be and the doctor would wait until then to come in. My parents are on Vacation, my husband is away on business, my in-laws were un-reachable and my sister was working. After several attempts I got ahold of my mother and father in law the were on their way and my sister left work.
The Doctor came in and explained the process he sat there for a long time not rushing me or knocking now my feelings of loss. I now have to go to a specialist who will preform an 'amino' at 16 weeks. I also have to go to a genetic counsellor# I went ahead and had the first set of blood work done and will have the second part done in a few weeks. I need to know that I have done everything I can to make the most informed decision.
I asked how long I had to make the decision to end the pregnancy if it comes to that I was told ASAP but as long as 24 weeks. The AMINO will take 7-10 days to get the results.
I am trying to remember that this is not only affecting me but my husband and that he is allowed to have his own feelings to# THIS SUCKS# I have taken my folic acid for 5 years straight, there is no history on either side of any disorder. WHY ME????WHY NOWW????HAT DID I DO ? WILL SAYING I'M SORRY FIX IT ALL???? I'M SORRY!!
I am trying to stay positive and know that maybe the baby just has a large neck# I also realize that in 4 weeks some tough decisions are going to be required# How do I truly know what my husbands thoughts are on it????how do i know its what he wants and not what he believes I want? How do I not blame everything and anything? Where is my threshold when will it be too much? Why would God let me get this far? Will I ever be able to lay down and close my eyes again?
I slept 2 hours last night cried off and on all day and have been ill. Good news I guess I am going to see the specialist on Monday if not before. This is going to be the longest 4 weeks of my whole life.
I am 13 weeks 1 day pregnant. Yesterday I had my NT redone because they could not get it the week before. The technician took forever and would not let me see the screen while she was taking the measurements. She left the room stating that she needed to look on her big screen. She asked who my OB was and when I was seeing him. Let my sister in the room showed us the little baby moving around complete with 2 arms and legs fingers and toes. Drinking a lot. ( my husband is away on business).
When I was given the IPS paper work the NT measurement was 4.8mm, which I knew was extremely high. My boys were 1.4 and 1.5 respectfully. I took a seat in the hospital lobby all alone, took out my Blackberry to verify was I already knew and then began to weep. I contacted my husband to explain how things went and cryed. I called my OB asked if he had any openings because I needed to speak with my OB. They called the hospital and called me back right away saying he had room and would see me as soon as I got there. The receptionist and nurse were fabulous. They came in asked if my husband was coming. Asked if they could call, I looked up and said it's bad isn't it......She replied ya it's really bad. She said I needed to find someone to come in and be with be and the doctor would wait until then to come in. My parents are on Vacation, my husband is away on business, my in-laws were un-reachable and my sister was working. After several attempts I got ahold of my mother and father in law the were on their way and my sister left work.
The Doctor came in and explained the process he sat there for a long time not rushing me or knocking now my feelings of loss. I now have to go to a specialist who will preform an 'amino' at 16 weeks. I also have to go to a genetic counsellor# I went ahead and had the first set of blood work done and will have the second part done in a few weeks. I need to know that I have done everything I can to make the most informed decision.
I asked how long I had to make the decision to end the pregnancy if it comes to that I was told ASAP but as long as 24 weeks. The AMINO will take 7-10 days to get the results.
I am trying to remember that this is not only affecting me but my husband and that he is allowed to have his own feelings to# THIS SUCKS# I have taken my folic acid for 5 years straight, there is no history on either side of any disorder. WHY ME????WHY NOWW????HAT DID I DO ? WILL SAYING I'M SORRY FIX IT ALL???? I'M SORRY!!
I am trying to stay positive and know that maybe the baby just has a large neck# I also realize that in 4 weeks some tough decisions are going to be required# How do I truly know what my husbands thoughts are on it????how do i know its what he wants and not what he believes I want? How do I not blame everything and anything? Where is my threshold when will it be too much? Why would God let me get this far? Will I ever be able to lay down and close my eyes again?
I slept 2 hours last night cried off and on all day and have been ill. Good news I guess I am going to see the specialist on Monday if not before. This is going to be the longest 4 weeks of my whole life.