Hitting at school

[caz_hills]

Hi,

My 4 year old started reception last month. In the playground there is a few of them, him included, who run around before school and probably at lunch time and play fight - puling each others coats, punching each other.

It breaks my heart to see my little boy doing that. He hasn't ever been the violent type but with these boys he is part of the action and doing it - not being led by totally involved. So I'm not saying he is being led astray as he is as responsible for the playing.

I had to tell him off this morning in the playground as I saw him hit another boy - it was horrible to see my little boy doing that and hitting another child.

How should I handle it? I want to talk to him - explain that this is wrong (which is already knows). I have spoken to him about it already and he said that they are just playing and that they hit in and he hits them. I explained that it isn't nice and he says he doesn't mind and neither do they.

Any advice?

Thanks,
x

 

[Natsku]

I loved playfighting when I was a kid so I'm not sure I'd force him to stop unless someone is getting hurt or the school says it needs to stop. I reckon it helps kids learn how much is too much (crossing the line between playing and hurting)

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks for your reply. I am conscious that I am probably over reacting and worrying. The other parents don't seem too worried but I don't want him looking like a bully or bad, naughty boy. When he got home today he was so sweet, lovely playing and a bit naughty at times when he was tired before bed but just normal.

Maybe I should leave it for a bit and wait and see.

I asked the teacher about it when I collected him and she said that she hadn't nticed anything and would keep an eye on things.

 

[Natsku]

I can understand how you feel but I'd continue waiting and gauge your response by the other parents and the teacher. You obviously don't want him to turn into a bully but just playfighting on an equal playing field is far from that. Hopefully they'll move onto some different way of playing soon.

 

[Quartz]

Playfighting is an entirely normal behaviour so I would not worry about it.

I would keep an eye and ask the teacher to and clearly explain to him the boundaries that he needs to be aware of (not to push/hit too much, stop if someone does not liek it, dont do it if they dont want to play etc)

I still see 10/11 year old boys doing it

 

[sequeena]

If they are play fighting I think it's fine. Kids generally know how far they can go doing that. Boys will be Boys as they say.

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

My sons exactly the same so I understand your worries. I would be mortified if I thought that he'd actually hurt somebody but it does seem just "boys being boys".
I know his teacher has sat all the children down and explained about rough play and gentle hands and I've done the same things at home.
Things do seem to have settled down a bit since they've been in more of a routine at school.
X

 

[OmarsMum]

If they are just playing fight I wouldn't worry about it, but if they gang to bully other children who are not interested in their play I'd step in. I had to complain about some children as they were picking on DS in the play ground. He wasn't interested in fight play so they ended up picking on him.

For my boy playing "fight" is no fun, even when his cousins try to involve him in fight games he gets irritated.

 

[RachA]

Agree with the others - play fighting is normal. It does however cross the line when they are hitting someone who doesn't want to play with them.

If the teachers are aware they will monitor it and i would say that it will die down of its own accord. Keep bringing it up with him may just make the phase last longer than it needs to.