Hmm, confused

[Sophie1205]

Yesterday me and OH were in Asda getting the food shopping, and we stopped to talk to some women who had a tiny little baby in the car seat in her trolley and we were talking babies etc... and she asked how many I want to have eventually and I said 5 (which I do) and OH agreed! So when we got home and we were putting the shopping away, OH cuddled me and said "That little baby was so cute. I want another one" SO inside I was like YAYYYYYYY so I said, well can I stop taking my pill then? and he was like No. and that was the end of that. WTF?! why is he confusing me. I know he wants another baby because of the way he said it and we talk about it all the time.


So, last night I went to bed without tidying up or doing the dishes because I had a huge headache and felt quite sick. Then when I woke up this morning I realised I had had forgot to take my pill yesterday!!! Ive never forgotten a pill before and its just a horrible coinsidence (sp) that OH and I had that conversation yesterday. So, I thought about not telling him I hadnt taken it because he'd think I did it on purpose, but then I thought no, honesty is the best policy. So I've told him and ensured him it was an honest mistake. And he was like "uhh so what does that mean then?" lol.

So we're just gonna be careful for a week, but if I had it my way I wouldnt bother lol.

Sorry Ive rambled. He's just really confusing me with saying he wants one and then he's like no!!

x

 

[princess_bump]

oh sweetie, am so sorry he's confusing you like this have you talked about when your want to start trying again? maybe you could have a good chat and tell him how feel so confused x x

 

[Sophie1205]

Yeah all he says is "in a few years". I cant wait that long!!!!
We've talked about it a lot and Ive told him how bad I want another one now. Ive even sat there and looked at double buggies and been showing him and he's been like "yeah that one's nice" ........... but if were waiting "a few years" we wont need a double buggy. See what I mean?!

There's many reasons I want my babies while I am young and as quick as possibe. It sounds horrible and scary, but everyone women in my family have had cancer in there mid 20's which ended up with them not being able to have any more kids. This includes my Mum so Im just terrified this will happen to me, then I'll look back and be like... WHY did I wait?!?!

Sorry to sound all down lol xx

 

[lozzy21]

Have you told your OH your fears? Men can be such plebs some times.

 

[xCarlyx]

Omg I know exactly how you feel! My boyfriend is just the same. One minute he wants us to wait for another year or two. Then next he will be saying about how babies/toddlers are cute and that he wants one now. I'm on the pill aswell and I say to him so does that mean I can come off the pill - he will say yeah and he says we will try later - but when it gets to later he don't want to.
So I know exactly how your feeling.
It's annoying aswell.
But you should really talk to him - ask him when he really wants to try for another. Say how you feel about having one at an early age.
But of course make sure it's what you both want. Maybe he isn't as ready as he makes out he is. Just give him time.

Good Luck
xx

 

[Sophie1205]

thanks yeah it is annoying.

And yeah Ive spoken to him about my fears Lozzy and he just says "it wont happen to you". But theres a very high chance that it will! Grrr.

xx

 

[cdejdemommy]

Hmm, well that sounds mean! I'm sorry to hear you're going through the confusion right now. I can't really help you cause I don't know how that feels. It was basically MY decision to have our first child. David to this day says he went along with it to make me happy
But our second was unplanned. I got pregnant when Christian was 5 months old and I cried. David calmed me down and assured me that it should be a happy time.

Having two kids is a lot of work, but you get used to it just like you did with the first one. Remember when our babies were newborns and we just thought we were going to die those first couple of weeks and then we got adjusted? Two is just an adjustment just like one is but just like with the one - we are so inlove with our babies that half the time we don't mind the mid-night feedings and diaper changes or even just the rocking because we're so inlove with our new baby, same with the second.

Good luck!

 

[Sophie1205]

Thanks that makes sense. I think thats what he's afriad of. He just says we're not ready. I totally am!!! I know it will be hard work with two, but I know its so totally worth it! xx

 

[Beltane]

Men are so confusing! I think he wants one but isn't quite ready. Mine played that game with me and I sat him down and said pick one! Baby now or not? You need to be straight forward with him and make a plan. Pick a month out together =)

 

[Sophie1205]

Thanks I think I'm scared of having that talk with him because I know the answer wont be anytime soon, and it'll kill me to know thats final, iykwim?

I really hope he changes his mind soon. xx

 

[lozzy21]

Tell him your not prepared to take that chance that "it might not happen" and if he wont do it with you, you will go to a sperm doner.

Maybe then he might understand how seriouse you are.

 

[Sophie1205]

Tell him your not prepared to take that chance that "it might not happen" and if he wont do it with you, you will go to a sperm doner.

Maybe then he might understand how seriouse you are.

Lol thats funny cuz I actually did say that to him the other day!! He just told me to f**k off lol

 

[bunnyg82]

awww how confusing and frustrating! x

 

[PnutProtector]

men don't know what they really want.... they hate to change, but when change does happen and it's a good kind of change (like another baby) they are happy with it.

talk about it. Tell him when you were thinking of TTC and come up with a game plan of how it'll all work to back yourself up. Tell him how important it is to you and what your fears are. Then ask him what he thinks. If he still says that he wants to wait a few more years, then drop it for now and ask again next month and every month till he comes around.

 

[Sophie1205]

Thanks everyone well you know I said I missed my pill the other day and OH was like, "well just make sure we used condoms for a while" and today.... we had and didnt use anything. He didnt say anything so I just went along with it hehe.