HMM

[terces]

So, I've been reading some post about women being so upset that their friend is pregnant and how angry they are. Angry to the point of no longer being friends with that person. I do know that pain since my hubby and I are trying so hard to have a baby and found out a friends 14 year old was pregnant. That one did hurt, but I moved on and have supported the girl because she's scared. I honestly don't see the point in being angry.

NO I haven't been trying as long as some of the wonderful ladies on here. only a year and a half. Yes, it hurts when I find out someone else is pregnant, but not to the point that I no longer want to see that person. My job as a friend is to love them and be there for them.

My main reason for this post is to tell a story. I had to friends who both were married. One of the ladies and 1 child and REALLY wanted another. The other had 2 and got pregnant a 3rd time. The first women with 1 child began to treat the pregnant one unkindly. She was jealous of her pregnancy and wasn't secretive about it. The pregnant women made it to her 9th month and lost her baby. My point is you never know what will happen with friends pregnancies or in life. Life's to short to be angry. Yes, we all want babies, however, life's to short to shut out our friends. They are the ones we need most in times of trouble.

 

[LizMcD]

You are right and we should appreciate our friends.

Unfortunately though logic doesn't always feature with ltttc because our heart often rules our head!!!

Xx

 

[Rigi.kun]

Your right, we never know what is around the corner

 

[dodgercpkl]

I totally agree. I've had 3 friends on another forum announce their pregnancies (one of them 2x's) and all three times I've felt sad for me (but happy for them) and those 3 friends have had 3 mc's between them plus one scare! It made me feel so horrible for feeling jealous that they were pregnant. It doesn't stop me from feeling disappointed in my body and the whole no glimmer of a bfp thing, but it does very much put it all into perspective.

I couldn't see stopping a friendship because of something like that though, unless the friend in question was truly purposefully trying to hurt me somehow about it.

 

[terces]

Thanks for the responses ladies. I will say the one thing that makes me angry with friends is the one who this evening told me that I just may not be meant to be a mom. I might be meant to just help other people. I think what prompted it is how much my close friends 2 year old loves me. He's always by my side. Anyways I informed her that I have a hard time believing that God would put in my heart to want a child and not let me have one. Her response was, I didn't want any kids and I got 3.....AAAHHH let me slap you ok!

 

[Rigi.kun]

Thanks for the responses ladies. I will say the one thing that makes me angry with friends is the one who this evening told me that I just may not be meant to be a mom. I might be meant to just help other people. I think what prompted it is how much my close friends 2 year old loves me. He's always by my side. Anyways I informed her that I have a hard time believing that God would put in my heart to want a child and not let me have one. Her response was, I didn't want any kids and I got 3.....AAAHHH let me slap you ok!

Oh wow, that was a bit abrupt of her to say.
How I see it is, that the two year old boy likes you because you have lots of mummy vibes about you. Mummy vibes makes little kids and animals just wanna be your best friend. And mummy vibes are awesome vibes to have
God will bless you with your bundle of joy when the time is right. As I love to say, if it's not happy then it can't be the end yet because everyone should get their happy ending

 

[Feisty Fidget]

The logic behind your story is of course very sound, that said I am one of those people that will block pregnant people on facebook or try to avoid situations with pregnant people I know BUT that is only if they are acquaintences.

My best friend accidentally fell pregnant last year whilst we were trying and admittedly I was jealous BUT I never ever let it impact on our relationship. She knew we were trying and was supportive, she never rubbed her pregnancy in my face and always answered any questions I had and once I got over the initial shock my jealousy soon faded. Sadly she suffered a still birth at just over 9 months and it was then my turn to look after/care for her.

My point is that people who either do not know I am trying or know (we lost a baby last year and quite a few people found out) but are just mere acquaintances or I do not know that well are less likely to take my feelings into consideration. Logically I shouldn't judge others and should be happy that they are pregnant but realistically when I know that people who are going to make questionable parents are pregnant (currently know of someone who is into soft drugs with a partner who is considered a 'psycho' by the local hard-nuts who has just found out they are expecting twins) I can't help but feel bitter. Why should they get to have a baby when DH and I have been struggling for almost two years, like-wise when people fall pregnant so easy I am jealous that their body works when mine clearly doesn't.

I would never go out of my way to be mean to a pregnant person unless they decided to make jibes about us being 'childless'.

I dislike being bitter but with each failed month that passes it gets harder to celebrate another pregnancy that isn't ours.

 

[dodgercpkl]

I know how you feel FF. ESPECIALLY about the story of the druggy lady getting pregnant. I read so many of those stories that just make me scream at the unfairness.

@terces - You have more restraint then I do. I think I would have slapped her for that comment. The first was bad enough but then she just rubbed salt into an open wound with the second. Ugh.

 

[LizMcD]

Hey terces I think that comment is awful!! How dare she say that to u! I would have flipped lol. Don't ever stop believing u will get ur baby. You will.

I can relate more to your post than when I joined last week as on fri night a close friend told me she miscarried, I felt terrible for her. I felt guilty for my jealousy too but I was always supportive of her pregnancy despite my own situation (and her knowing everything) .
Xx