Home birth with a lodger/housemate

[sophisticat]

My partner and I live with a friend, his room is on the top floor and ours is on the middle floor, all of our names are on the rental contract and we split bills and rent three ways but in reality it's more like "our" house, and he is like a lodger. I really want a home birth and the only thing that's worrying me is him being around. I don't really get on with him very well (even more so since I've been pregnant, maybe it's hormones or I resent him being in what I feel like should be a family home) although my other half is pretty good friends with him, but he mostly keeps himself to himself and I don't tend to see him that much other than passing through a room or hallway.

Unfortunately we're not in a position to move out without him and we can't kick him out as his name is on the contract. We asked him what he intends to do once the baby arrives and he says he's staying put for now, so looks like I'm going to have to put up with the living arrangements for the time being.

Obviously I'd have to ask him what he thinks, but he's fairly open minded and friendly enough (even when I've been a horrible cow to him through my pregnancy!).

Anyway, I guess the question is, does anyone have any experience of having a home birth with a lodger or housemate around?

 

[Mum2MJ]

Luckily not! Will he leave the house during your labour if you asked though?

 

[indigo_fairy]

I haven't had any experience with a lodger during labour/birth etc... I do know that I wouldn't want them around at that time though, I want to be free to go/do/wear what I like without being restricted. It sounds as if you could sit him down together and talk about it, so maybe that's your best option. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be in the way, maybe he could stay somewhere else for the established labour bit?

 

[Aunty E]

I didn't birth at home, but I did labour for a few hours at home, and we had a lodger at that point and for the first few days after the baby came (he moved to New York at the end of that week, but it was planned not a result of the baby). I was in labour from the early hours of the morning, and did feel inhibited by our lodger (even though we're really good friends) so didn't tell him I was in labour and I was so glad when he went out to work and I could just do what I wanted and have a bath with the door open and generally relax. So I would suggest that you ask him if he wouldn't mind staying with a friend for the delivery? If you are friends he might be ok with that.

 

[sophisticat]

Well my other half says they were talking about it last night and he (the lodger) says he's fine with it and offered to go out when I'm in labour without being asked so looks like all being well I can start actually thinking about and discussing home birth with my midwife as a real possibility. Yay!