Homebirth a possibility?

[Lollycake]

Hi,

I am looking for opinions/advice please, I would love a homebirth but I'm not sure if it's the best idea for the baby and me or not...
I live in London and know that one of the first things the midwives will say is about staffing levels. This is my first baby, my BMI has now gone over 35, I live in a flat and we are moving very close to my due date...so lots of reasons why it's probably not a good idea. I've always wanted a homebirth but have given up on the idea in the past few months for these reasons. I've found out that the birth centre won't take anyone with a BMI over 35 so I will have to go to the hospital - and that terrifies me! I really don't want any interventions, and I know when you go to hospital they are a lot more likely etc. Plus I think I'd be heartbroken afterwards too having to stay on the ward without OH.
Baby is breech at the minute and have been told if they can't get him to turn then it'll probably be a c-section
So I was just looking for opinions on whether I should consider a homebirth or if I'm being selfish?
Also I have read that if the midwives say no I can tell them I want one anyway - what is the process for this? Do I have to write a lot of letters and meet consultants? I don't want even more stress!!
Thanks

 

[Jo.t]

I beleave a home birth is your right - if you want one the NHS has to provide one buy law !

 

[Veedub]

Ok, you can have anything you want but the crux of the matter is that you're likely to come up against resistance if your baby is breech due to the way the nhs operates. They're not woman-centred in the least, they'll coerce you into the section with their warped statistics. Breech is actually a variation of normal but because it has been medically managed for so long, there are so few practitioners experienced enough to support you. Have you considered hiring an independent midwife? You also ought to have a good read of here:
www.homebirth.org.uk
You can have whatever you want - but it's likely you'll be bullied. Just educate yourself and be happy that you are making the right choices for YOU. The doctors and midwives in the nhs are unlikely to give you unbiased information which to base your decisions. So make sure you do your own research!
Hugs! Good luck with whatever you decide x

 

[Veedub]

Btw....I had a bmi of 38 at booking and I'm being fully supported to birth at home by my independent midwife.......so it IS possible

 

[Lollycake]

Thank you for your help
Unfortunately we can't afford to hire an independent midwife at the mo (having to fork out nearly £3k for the deposit on our new flat!), wish we could though as I have heard before that they tend to be more supportive.
That website doesn't seem to be working at the mo, but have read it in the past, esp the section about 'you can't have a homebirth if...' section with reasons why you can and thought it was excellent!
Do you think that if he does turn then the midwives would be ok with me having a homebirth or still try to persuade me not to? I know that ultimately it's my decision and if I fight it enough I should be able to have the kind of birth I want...but was just looking for advice on how much I'm likely to have to fight it? Quite stressed about other things at the minute and writing angry letters to doctors is not something I want to add to my list! Have you had any experience of trying to persuade the NHS midwives to let you have a homebirth despite BMI, or is that why you went for an independent one instead?
Sorry for all the questions! I don't know anyone in real life who has a birth anywhere but hospital...and my NCT classes don't start til Jan!

 

[Veedub]

It's not really about them 'being ok with it'. It's whether or not they consider you high risk and whether or not you want to fight for your homebirth. If your baby is breech at term (how far pregnant are you now?) there is almost zero chance they'll give you the opportunity to actually go into labour by yourself.

If you are low risk and you want your homebirth, low staffing levels are not a reson to deny you a homebirth. You just tell them it's what you want and they are duty bound to provide that for you.

 

[Veedub]

I used to be a midwife in the NHS....so I know exactly the tricks they play in order to get you birthing on their terms. I knew I would come up against their ridiculous policies and protocols based on my weight, so like you do with any big thing in your life, you save money/sacrifice things to get what you want. It's going to take until our baby is almost 18 months old to pay the midwife in full but that'a a sacrifice we're willing to make because to me, birth is a once or twice in a lifetime event and it's important for us to feel supported and cared for my someone who actually gives a damn.

 

[Lollycake]

In my notes they've classed me as low risk, but not sure if that's the same as if I would be high/low risk for a homebirth?
I'm 30weeks, so hopefully he will turn himself in the next few weeks, fingers crossed! Going to try doing the inversion thing from the spinning babies website I think.
Yea, you're right, it important and I know I'll regret it if I don't at least try to get the kind of birth I want. Will have a chat to the midwife at the next appt and gauge her reaction, if it's going to be a battle then will talk to OH about trying to get an independent midwife.
Btw, do you know when I have to officially tell them I want a homebirth? In my notes we were meant to discuss a birth plan at the last appt, but they were quite busy so the appt was rushed and we didn't talk about it.
Thanks again!

 

[Lollycake]

woops posted that twice, sorry!

 

[Bella51]

hello ladies

i just thought id share my experience so far!

my bmi was 35 at booking and i have always wanted a homebirth. i have been put under consultant care because of my high bmi, had regular checks and 2 growth scans, both of which say baby is bang on average in everthing so far.
when i first saw the consultants registrar, she said"try not to put any weight on during pregnancy". i have put on 3 kgs in the whole pregnancy so far (im 37 weeks!)
my most recent consultant appt they tried their best to put me off a homebirth claiming shoulder dystocia was much higher with high bmi and bleeding was much more likely, and " we cant tell you not to, but its your responsibility if anything happens to you or baby" which made me feel great!
my midwife (NHS) is extremely supportive of homebirths and has agreed to book me for one ignoring the consultant, but has warned me that the director of midwives may want to talk to me about how it isnt appropriate.

have any of you ladies had high bmi and problems with bleeding in labour? i am 45mins-1hr from the hospital which is my only concern, but i absolutely hate hospitals and am trying to avoid at all costs.

the midwife did warn me that if there is low staffing then they can refuse homebirth attendance and make you go in.

sorry to rant!

 

[Milana]

Hi ladies!

I keep thinking that mome birth can be dangerous both for the mom and baby. Never knows what can goes wrong. I've already made my mind and gonna give birth to my baby in a hospital under a proffecional control.

P.S. This is just my personal opinion

 

[wishful1]

I think most important for you is to find a MW / consultant you can trust and feel supported by and discuss your options. As long as there is no outstanding risk to you or baby it seems very reasonable to request a homebirth AND be supported in your choice. You don't want to have to go into this with an adversarial relationship with those you are expecting to attend you at the birth of your child. Meet a few MW if you need to, or look into payment plans for an independant MW. We love our team of MWs, OB, and our doula and I cannot tell you how this has set my mind at ease re: the birth process.

We have the option here of a birthing center, which is wonderful, but if we had to choose homebirth v. hospital I would opt for a MW attended home birth. I guess is depends on where you live, but statistics support homebirthing as a safe option for mom & baby in a routine pregnancy.

Best of luck!