MissAma
Finally a Mom to Dara
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As you can read on our various journals we had a bumpy ride. We found Clive - our elusive sperm- we're infertile, azoospermic, after loads of money, injections, tears, kilos lost and found and two ICSI tries and our little miss started life as one of two so-and-so quality embryos put back on day two. We were astounded it worked!!!
The pregnancy was difficult, painful and awarded me no less than 80 kilograms. A record. It wasn't a coincidence, I had lost many tens of kilos before IVF and then the hormonal treatment destroyed my organism totally and my metabolism couldn't deal with it. It was also, it turns out, why she had to be taken out faster than even the planned C-section for breech which was meant to happen around Christmas. My body simply failed, could not provide for her anymore. She stopped moving that much and when they took a closer look they diagnosed her with oligoamniosis -low liquid- so they reluctantly decided to listen to our worries and agree to take her out.
On the 11th of December at 11:25 Miss LHB (Miss Little Human Being) came into the world at 37 weeks plus 2, 3375 grams and 50 cm. She started out shaky, her Apgar was only 5 and then 8 and then 10 after 10 minutes. Her blood sugar was low and she was as unresponsive as she had been in the uterus but then she pulled through and rallied fast thank God! Her name is Dara Tea Maria.
So daddy is home for a second to walk the dog and collect other supplies so it's time I try to update a bit although some of you guys saw most of it in fragments on FB. This can't be long, typing with a baby on one's chest is not as relaxing as one would think!
The C-section was horrid, I had close to 10 operations in my life and none was even remotely as bad as this was. I had envisioned that it will be a breeze, I'd get a needle in and have all the pain afterwards. Boy was I wrong. For one thing they struggled for 40 minutes to get the epidural in to no avail. I was clutching a pillow, the nurse in front, the Viking on the left and occassionally Dr. Nasty who was trying to coach me to breath through the pain and screaming in agony. The mister was very close to fainting bless his heart. 3 local anesthesias, all failed. The needle in anyhow, in at least 6 positions, I lost count after those, and then indescribable pain on various nerves in the hips and even the shoulder. The main consultant tried to get it in correctly as well, same thing. Eventually they said they were sorry they will put me under and I started crying like mad out of sheer frustration that after all that pain I wouldn't see her right away. They got the catheter in with no anesthesia -more agony- got some Michael-Jackson-killing-agent in my veins, gave me gas and kicked the Viking out while they started intubating -that still hurts today!!- and cutting.
After 6 minutes he was back in and he had the scare of his life, baby limp and no motric response, had used up all her glycogen but strong heart beat and breathing. I can't imagine how he felt.... They then brought baby and daddy to the room and rushed to get her on the formua in the glass as her blood sugar was low. Can anyone say "'bout time they got that baby out"?!? Not like I hadn't told them so or like Dr.Nasty doesn't owe me an apology for insisting to turn a baby who was not even well leave alone was going to make it to term!!!
My recovery was so bad that I will not even apologise for no play by play updates. I had no phone, he couldn't give it to me since it was a general anesthesia and the following 6 hours in ICU were the worst hours of my life. They say they showed me the baby briefly I remembered nothing other than maybe seeing "something". They then had to pump me full of morphine every 20 minutes because I was screaming like an injured hyena! My entire abdomen was horridly in pain. My incision, the horrid massage they made to snap the uterus in shape, the mounting gases from the morphine, the intestines they had just moved about, my head from the oxygen, etc. They had to slap me about a few times as my O2 saturation went to 63% because of the morphine and they pumped vasoconstrictors in me like they were out of fashion as my BP dropped to the ground. All the while they said they "think" that "maybe" the baby is ok. I don't wish it on anyone.
When they finally brought me to the room I was in pain and just wanted to die, so much so that seeing Dara did nothing to me other than reassure me she's okay, none of the flood of happiness or any such mush. In fact it took me till the next morning to fall in love with her and am still falling deeper every second, it was no love at first sight and I wish I knew it didn't have to be before I got all convinced I had PND and so on!
She's meconium-ed the crap outta us
just two hours ago so we're happy about that and loves being on my boob even to lie there, no food has really passed her lips from there with the exception of a tinge of colostrum a midwife milked from me with huge pain. She wants and eats the little plastic cup milk daddy provides and we'll keep trying for the colostrum tomorrow but after it's straight to the bottle for us as was the plan after the golden stuff anyhow. I hate that she has to eat like a cat and can't have the luxury of sucking be it on a bottle.
Mom is sorely disappointed she looks nothing like me and all like the daddy. I am not. I am though disappointed with his parents not jumping in a car or plane to meet her yet.
Nemo, our St Bernard is jealous already and marking his territory in the house all over the place from just sniffing her on the Viking's clothes when he goes home to walk him!
We're expected to get out Tuesday or Wednesday. I have some very important meeting next week I may still go to if I feel ok which I might, after that terrible ICU experience, yesterday I was determined to get my own morphine -didn't have to- but walk so I stood up and showered all by myself at 9 in the morning, put make up on and showed Dara off to mom and my brother and sister-in-law on the corridor then asked for my catheter to be removed and moved a fair bit after and loads more today. It's painful but doable after how much pain I had in the pregnancy. Hopefully it continues!
She makes the strangest of noises! She makes noises when she sleeps too, nothing prepared us for that, something between a kitty and a tiny puppy and then she sometimes screams -very rarely and only if we won't understand she needs to burp or be cleaned of meconium! LOL- and the one the melts our hearts the most is a worried "uh-oh" newborn whimper she has whenever she seems startled by a new move or action and becomes worried. In general she regards us with a mixture between "awww you poor things, you know thing, the wisdom is mine" and "OMG what idjits, did you never get the manual?!? what will become of me?!?"
Right now I am in no hurry to go home LOL it feels awesome to be here, in our little new family heaven, dad being the best ever, feeding her, changing her and generally cooing more than I ever could to the point that he forgot I even exist and me marveling every second how come we got this lucky that many injections, money and operations later. How from the two cells -injected into each other on an 11th as well BTW- we got THIS.
Right, the new daddy is back. I must go be frightingly happy.
The pregnancy was difficult, painful and awarded me no less than 80 kilograms. A record. It wasn't a coincidence, I had lost many tens of kilos before IVF and then the hormonal treatment destroyed my organism totally and my metabolism couldn't deal with it. It was also, it turns out, why she had to be taken out faster than even the planned C-section for breech which was meant to happen around Christmas. My body simply failed, could not provide for her anymore. She stopped moving that much and when they took a closer look they diagnosed her with oligoamniosis -low liquid- so they reluctantly decided to listen to our worries and agree to take her out.
On the 11th of December at 11:25 Miss LHB (Miss Little Human Being) came into the world at 37 weeks plus 2, 3375 grams and 50 cm. She started out shaky, her Apgar was only 5 and then 8 and then 10 after 10 minutes. Her blood sugar was low and she was as unresponsive as she had been in the uterus but then she pulled through and rallied fast thank God! Her name is Dara Tea Maria.
So daddy is home for a second to walk the dog and collect other supplies so it's time I try to update a bit although some of you guys saw most of it in fragments on FB. This can't be long, typing with a baby on one's chest is not as relaxing as one would think!
The C-section was horrid, I had close to 10 operations in my life and none was even remotely as bad as this was. I had envisioned that it will be a breeze, I'd get a needle in and have all the pain afterwards. Boy was I wrong. For one thing they struggled for 40 minutes to get the epidural in to no avail. I was clutching a pillow, the nurse in front, the Viking on the left and occassionally Dr. Nasty who was trying to coach me to breath through the pain and screaming in agony. The mister was very close to fainting bless his heart. 3 local anesthesias, all failed. The needle in anyhow, in at least 6 positions, I lost count after those, and then indescribable pain on various nerves in the hips and even the shoulder. The main consultant tried to get it in correctly as well, same thing. Eventually they said they were sorry they will put me under and I started crying like mad out of sheer frustration that after all that pain I wouldn't see her right away. They got the catheter in with no anesthesia -more agony- got some Michael-Jackson-killing-agent in my veins, gave me gas and kicked the Viking out while they started intubating -that still hurts today!!- and cutting.
After 6 minutes he was back in and he had the scare of his life, baby limp and no motric response, had used up all her glycogen but strong heart beat and breathing. I can't imagine how he felt.... They then brought baby and daddy to the room and rushed to get her on the formua in the glass as her blood sugar was low. Can anyone say "'bout time they got that baby out"?!? Not like I hadn't told them so or like Dr.Nasty doesn't owe me an apology for insisting to turn a baby who was not even well leave alone was going to make it to term!!!
My recovery was so bad that I will not even apologise for no play by play updates. I had no phone, he couldn't give it to me since it was a general anesthesia and the following 6 hours in ICU were the worst hours of my life. They say they showed me the baby briefly I remembered nothing other than maybe seeing "something". They then had to pump me full of morphine every 20 minutes because I was screaming like an injured hyena! My entire abdomen was horridly in pain. My incision, the horrid massage they made to snap the uterus in shape, the mounting gases from the morphine, the intestines they had just moved about, my head from the oxygen, etc. They had to slap me about a few times as my O2 saturation went to 63% because of the morphine and they pumped vasoconstrictors in me like they were out of fashion as my BP dropped to the ground. All the while they said they "think" that "maybe" the baby is ok. I don't wish it on anyone.
When they finally brought me to the room I was in pain and just wanted to die, so much so that seeing Dara did nothing to me other than reassure me she's okay, none of the flood of happiness or any such mush. In fact it took me till the next morning to fall in love with her and am still falling deeper every second, it was no love at first sight and I wish I knew it didn't have to be before I got all convinced I had PND and so on!
She's meconium-ed the crap outta us
just two hours ago so we're happy about that and loves being on my boob even to lie there, no food has really passed her lips from there with the exception of a tinge of colostrum a midwife milked from me with huge pain. She wants and eats the little plastic cup milk daddy provides and we'll keep trying for the colostrum tomorrow but after it's straight to the bottle for us as was the plan after the golden stuff anyhow. I hate that she has to eat like a cat and can't have the luxury of sucking be it on a bottle.Mom is sorely disappointed she looks nothing like me and all like the daddy. I am not. I am though disappointed with his parents not jumping in a car or plane to meet her yet.
Nemo, our St Bernard is jealous already and marking his territory in the house all over the place from just sniffing her on the Viking's clothes when he goes home to walk him!
We're expected to get out Tuesday or Wednesday. I have some very important meeting next week I may still go to if I feel ok which I might, after that terrible ICU experience, yesterday I was determined to get my own morphine -didn't have to- but walk so I stood up and showered all by myself at 9 in the morning, put make up on and showed Dara off to mom and my brother and sister-in-law on the corridor then asked for my catheter to be removed and moved a fair bit after and loads more today. It's painful but doable after how much pain I had in the pregnancy. Hopefully it continues!
She makes the strangest of noises! She makes noises when she sleeps too, nothing prepared us for that, something between a kitty and a tiny puppy and then she sometimes screams -very rarely and only if we won't understand she needs to burp or be cleaned of meconium! LOL- and the one the melts our hearts the most is a worried "uh-oh" newborn whimper she has whenever she seems startled by a new move or action and becomes worried. In general she regards us with a mixture between "awww you poor things, you know thing, the wisdom is mine" and "OMG what idjits, did you never get the manual?!? what will become of me?!?"
Right now I am in no hurry to go home LOL it feels awesome to be here, in our little new family heaven, dad being the best ever, feeding her, changing her and generally cooing more than I ever could to the point that he forgot I even exist
and me marveling every second how come we got this lucky that many injections, money and operations later. How from the two cells -injected into each other on an 11th as well BTW- we got THIS.Right, the new daddy is back. I must go be frightingly happy.
