Hoping to be TTC soon... but still Nervous!

[rainbud]

My Husband and I have started talking and preparing to TTC since May of this year. We will be married 2 years this august and together 7 years total in October. We are still young but we want to be younger parents, we want to have energy and enjoy our children while we can. We have to start some time if we want more then one.

We Have be WTT up until now because of being young, being ready and scared of the unpredictable I guess. I have been ready for awhile, Hubby just came on board.

I think we are both excited, but I am still a bit worried about certain aspects of have a child. I am ready, but I worried so much about everything but the baby.

I work with Children for a living so the thought of having my own doesn't bother me. The things I worried about Is more about what happens after the baby comes. I know It sort of silly to be worried about this when we are not trying yet. But I worry about Maternity Leave (weather or not it will be sufficient) , I worry about Going back to work, or staying home or day care ect.

My OH and I do alright for Finances, But we do rely on a certain amount. I know everyone works these things out. But I'm so worried that something might happen and we wouldn't be ok. I always said I wanted to be Financially ready before children but Its not always easy to save when you have a home and Vehicle that seem to need something done every time you do save some money. I have also heard that for some people they never quite find themselves in a good financial situation and put off children very long. With the economy its hard to say where anybody's finances are going right now.

Its hard when you feel ready for a baby, and things are not where you hoped they would be. My other worry Is that I don't know if I will be able to go back to work, day care fees are so expensive its almost not worth working to pay them. So then I wonder about running a day home. My mother stayed home with me and that is something i would love to do with my children. (she did run a day home) But day homes can be unreliable for money. I like my job now but It seem like i would be difficult to continue with, As my husband works out of town and part time for my job would mean mornings or afternoons. which mean i still need to find care for days my OH is away. Which I'm not sure would be quite worth the amount of time worked.

I guess the real reason I Posted this was to get Some input on being worried about finances and some ideas of things I might be able to do to ease the situation and or jobs i could do from home other then day home.

We are planning to TTC In late August -September. I hope we get Pregnant but Its just a little scary still, to not know what to expect.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thread anyways.

 

[Mrs Poppy]

Hi Hun. I'm sure its natural for you to be nervous as its such a big deal in your life but you sound like you are ready and have thought everything through. I agree that unless your finances are really bad then there is no point waiting otherwise people would never have children! I think there was a similar thread not long ago on here and there was great advice on there from people who felt the same as you- may be worth searching for that? x

 

[rainbud]

Thanks I will check that out.

 

[shambaby]

I know exactly what you mean - we have been WTT simply because we needed to sort our finances out. Things are still not perfect, but we have made good progress and are sticking to our plan to stop the pill in August and see how things go. We have done some sums and we can just about live on hubby's wage plus my maternity pay, then part-time pay when i go back to work. We just got to the point where we had to say ok, things aren't perfect, but we just can't wait any longer. I am 31 and hubby is 35 and we really want 2 children, so we felt the potential risks of running out of time outweighed the benefits of waiting any longer. And I know we're not that old and should still have plenty of time, but I'm having a major panic about my declining fertility.

Having said all that now that the time is getting closer i am absolutely terrified! I'm getting attacks of nerves and worry that we aren't ready. There's just no pleasing some people!

 

[bunnyg82]

awww it is scary! I am watching my ticker go down and although it's so exciting for me, it's getting scarier and scarier!!! It's a big step so it's no wonder we're nervous, but it will be ok! x

 

[lulu37688]

rainbud- I could have written your post word for word! my hubby and I are just married 2 years and together for almost 8. We just decided I would stop taking the pill and just see what happens!
I am so excited but soooo scared at the same time!
My big thing is the $$ too...I would have to go back to work so I worry about the saving enough now and for mat leave (mat leave in the States is a joke!) and then paying for daycare when the baby arrives....
it's weird how i can be so freaking excited and at the same time, be so scared i want to cry.
however your post was awesome in making me see i'm not alone in thinking like this. and i guess a baby is worth it and we'll just make it work! all the other stuff pales in comparision!

 

[rainbud]

Thanks everyone. It is very scary, But I know there are people out there worse off then I. And they get through these things, but yeah just like you said Lulu, Mat leave is a joke!(in Canada too) And its hard not to worry about the after part because we want to take care of our children properly and the best that we can. It especially scary for new parents. We have never done this so we are trying to anticipate what it might be like, but its hard to do that. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens. But its nice like lulu said to know that other people go though the same thought process. I feel like I might be to paranoid some times. But I guess its normal.

 

[achekh8707]

I have also considering have an in home daycare, but I decided that it really might not be worth the trouble, as well as not being a reliable source of income, I do not want to get used to living a certain way, and then suddenly be out a large chunk of our income for whatever reason. I suppose the only way to remedy that situation is to ask for a deposit or have the parent sign a contract or something - but then they will most likely look elsewhere.

I stayed home with Emma from the time she was born until she was about 7 months old. Once I was done exclusively breastfeeding I took a weekend job as a leasing agent for an apartment building very close to my home. It's only 16 hours per week, but it brings in about $800 a month. I also have a very very part time job at my church. I am being paid for 3 hours every sunday to be a permenent nursery care worker, so that we do not have to rely on volunteers, which brings in another $170 a month.

These things help give my husband a chance to have alone time with Emma since he is home on the weekends, and gives me a chance to work but not be far from her. It is doable - I was 18 when I got pregnant with her

 

[rainbud]

I really Don't know what I am going to do, I guess i'll have to see where I am at when I have a baby and go from there.

 

[K1nS]

Hello and welcome Me and my partner are WTT until Jan '10 with our first so I can totally see where your coming from when you say your nervous! Its a massive step isn't it?? Sometimes I think I would love to have a baby right now but then other times I get so scared about it its unreal. Anyway, I wish you all the best of luck on TTC when the time comes hun xxx