Sorry you're feeling sad Hopie.

You have been through so much and have stayed so strong but you're human and bound to have days where everything just hits you. I hope tomorrow is a happier day and that, like Blu said, next Mother's Day you, your mom and your future little one are celebrating somewhere great.
Jaspie I hope you're having an amazing holiday and I can't wait to hear about it when you're back!
So so thrilled for you Blu, when I read your news while on the bus I was blinking back (happy!) tears.
So glad your scan went well too Bernie. We rented a doppler for my last pregnancy - I think we got it at about 10.5 weeks and we found Baby's heartbeat in about ten minutes the first time and very quickly every time after. Of course we now know that my amniotic fluid was low because Baby couldn't release his urine, so perhaps that's why he was so easy to find and it may be more difficult normally. If you find it stresses you more than anything you can always return it, but if the doppler is high quality you should be able to find your little one even if it takes a bit of time. That's great that you're finding out if you're team blue or pink soon! If we make it that far we'll definitely be shelling out for the Panorama test as well.
I had my blood hcg levels checked and so far so good - 4278 on Thursday at 12:40 PM, 9727 today at 8:50 AM. It is my birthday today, so that was a wonderful gift.
