hormone crash after ERPC

[Blu10]

So in pretty sure my HCG must be dropping bow. I had ERPC on friday and have felt ok in myself but today I feel so low in mood, irritable and sad. Ive had a few teary moments and am just so so desperate to be pregnant again 😢 i feel like a crap mommy to my little boy today as I cant be bothered to do anything, just wanna go to bed!!
Anyone else felt this way?

 

[Puppylove52]

Whew yes girl I was there. I cried over so much and was so blah. I also got very angry over nothing. My doc told me it could Last 4 weeks post d&c and it is completely normal. Mine lasted 3. Take care of yourself. You aren't a crap mommy! It gets better. *hugs*

 

[bernie86]

I never heard about a crash in hormones, but it makes sense... I feel like I dont know what my body is doing... I feel weird, and the highs and lows dont make sense because I cant say its PMS or whatever. This last week was the first time I actually wanted to go out somewhere that wasn't work or the grocery store. maybe it was the drop in hormones that was making me a hermit crab who was clinging to my Husband! lol Im sure he will be happy when I get back to normal

 

[Puppylove52]

While I was in recovery, my doctor talked to my fiance and explained to him about the hormones and for him to be patient. He knew what to expect and he has been so good.. I'm so glad my doctor forewarned him

 

[Blu10]

Well today (so far) is a better today. Im going back to work tomorrow which Im glad if as I think it will be a distraction for me. Im going to take DS out today and try to enjoy it x

 

[hopie2015]

Great to hear this Blu. I'm thinking the worst of the hormones crashing is over. Work will definitely be a good distraction. Hope you had a nice time out with DS. Get some good rest in this weekend too.

I just want February to end !

 

[jaspie]

I've also been really clingy to OH. It's been hard going back to work this week and not being with him, as we spent the last few weeks together as he was working from home. Getting back to normality is hard and I've been tearful and down this week too.
Pregnancy test last night showed a fainter line than Sunday's thank god so it's definitely on its way out. Opk still positive though, wish it would fade too so i could trust them to tell me if I'm ovulating.
Hope all you ladies are okay. I am also ready for February to get lost!

 

[Blu10]

It was my first day back at work today and I cried as soon as i walked thru the door and a colleague hugged me! Epic fail! Thankfully my boss is brill and has advised me to do non clinical stuff today and tomorrow and be kind to myself. I have to say I feel pretty knackered tonight so an early nitr is calling. I dont know about you jaspie but now Im getting back to normality I almost feel guilty? Like im trying to forget about the baby? I cant explain it. Meh... hopefully next week will be a better week. Do you still have any pregnancy symptoms or has all of that gone? Ive still not done a hpt yet.
How are you ladies today? Hugs x

 

[hopie2015]

Good job back on your first day at work, Blu. Not a fail at all! It's beyond hard. (I actually lost my job the other week, so didn't have my job to go back to!) But I could imagine. The fact that you have supportive colleagues makes a world of difference. I'm glad they are there for you.
Any guilt feeling we feel - because of getting back to normal work routine/back to life- I guess we acknowledge and then let the guilt feeling go. But I know what you mean by that feeling. Life and work goes on, but it doesn't mean we forget.
Jaspie- glad your line is getting fainter. I haven't had any pg symptoms for a while but in middle of night woke up extremely nauseous for hours. Reminded me of how that happened for weeks during the pregnancy, so I guess hormones are still wacky.

Zero degree temps here sure isn't helping the mood. Will try exercise classes tomorrow to up the chemicals!
Hope you both have a decent Friday at work..Keep posted and take care..and please, please let March get here soon!!!

 

[jaspie]

Hi blu and hopie.
Blu I'm glad you got the first day back out of the way and that your colleagues are lovely. There's no shame in crying in front of them i cried on the train and on the walk in yesterday I don't feel guilty getting back to normal i agree with what hopie said, but I do feel a bit guilty for thinking about trying again and as much as I want to i don't know if I'm ready in the next week or two. I have days I'm dying to be pregnant again and then days when i would rather wait a little bit and can't really even imagine having sex atm i don't know why.
My pregnancy symptoms seem to all be almost gone. I'm quite gassy on and off but it's definitely decreasing other than that I'm almost myself. Apart from the emotions and an eye twitch i seem to have had since my erpc. Stress i guess.
Hopie that sucks about waking up feeling sick, what a shitty reminder. Hope that stops. Well done on the exercise class! That will help so much i think, i'm going to go for a run tomorrow. I booked an appointment with a counsellor for Monday, for years I've suffered from anxiety and managed to cope alone but all this has made everything much worse and i need to speak to somebody to try to sort my head out and it will help me through this too.

 

[hopie2015]

Blu- I hope second day at work for you has been going okay? Let us know how you're doing.
Jaspie- I totally hear you. It's such a confusing time. Each day brings different feelings. TTC again soon...ttc never again.. that is how I see-saw each day.
Great job making an appt. with a counselor. I have too! I also go on Monday.
I had depression due to a very bad event once and it was terrible. I feel myself slipping again. Figured it would be good to have a professional to talk to since I am not really one to take medication.

It is zero degrees here today. Craziness! The cycling class did help. But that's about all I can manage- going to a workout class. Hope your run helped, Jaspie.
I guess one thing I always know makes me feel better is exercise.

Take good care~~

 

[Blu10]

Good morning ladies - hope youre both feeling a little better for doing some exercise? The weather is gloomy here at the moment too hopie but not that cold! Are you in US/Canada?
My second day at work was actually enjoyable, i had got all of the initial awkwardness out of the way on thursday and spent yesterday catching up with emails and project work etc. Im happy to restart doing clinical work on Monday and looking forward to it. Last nighy I met my friend for a drink and chat which really helped. She has also sadly mc previously and now has two healthy happy munchkins and always seems to know exactly what to say. She wants us to book a spa day so thats something nice to look forward to.
Ive never suffered with depression or anxiety and so all of these emotions feel so out of character for me and thats what im struggling witg. Everything is an effort at the moment and i need my mojo back.
Today were meeting some friends and their twin boys, were going to have a browse around a few shops and go to a playcentre then go for some lunch somewhere and Im looking forward to that. What do you both have planned?xx

 

[jaspie]

Hopie I hope you're feeling better. Well done too for making an appointment. Looks like Monday will be a big day for both of us

Blu your day out today sounds nice. And i bet seeing your friend last night really helped. One of my friends who currently pregnant after 2 mc has been great support to me too and also knows exactly what to say and how I'm feeling.

I haven't done my run yet I'm going to do it in about half hour. It looks a nice day so am looking forward to it. After that just relaxing at home this afternoon, OH is at the football so once he's back we'll have the rest of last night's Indian and watch the voice then more Fargo on netflix.

Hope you have good weekends xx

 

[hopie2015]

Blu- so glad you had a very good second day at work! Also great you have such a good, supportive friend. Your Saturday out sounds perfect. Hope you're enjoying!
I am in New York City. Pretty sure it is the coldest winter in about 100 years here!

Jaspie- your day sounds great too. I could go for watching Fargo tonight!
So great you have such a supportive friend as well who knows what to say. I am so happy she has a baby now after 2 mc's!

I don't have any friends that have experienced mc's that I know of. I have one friend who always seems to say the wrong thing. So I am laying low this weekend. I did get myself to an 8:00 am spinning class! I'll do some yoga later and some cooking and baking. I think I am way too solitary lately, but I don't really feel like being social still.

So glad I have you guys on here, as you are the only ones I know who truly understand.

Blu- I'm sure the emotions feel very uncomfortable you, if you never have experienced depression before. Not saying you have depression, of course..Just that you are going through the grief process. Counselor told me the only way out of it is to go fully through it, which we sure are. Just remember the feelings are temporary. You will have your mojo back someday for sure.
Jaspie- yes, Monday will be interesting for us..seeing what the counselors have to say!

Hope your Saturdays have been nice and relaxing. Take care~~

 

[Blu10]

I hope it goes well for you both on Monday hopie and jaspie, ill be thinking of you. I dont think I am depressed i think its just the grief process... denial, anger, bargaining, the list is endless. It can only get better.
Im glad you managed to do some exercise hopie. We had a lovely day today with friends and being with the babies was nowhere near as difficult as I anticipated but definitely reinforced my longing for another. DS is tucked up in bed now so Im going to enjoy a nice soak in the bath then snuggle up in my pjs watching trashy TV with hubby (may even dig the chocolate out!). Hope you both have a lovely saturday nite and im really glad that we all understand each other and how we feel xx

 

[jaspie]

Me too. You girls are a lifeline
Well done on your spin class hopie! I went for my run this morning, 4 miles which is the first run in 4 months so I'm happy with that and felt good after.
Enjoy your relaxing evenings

 

[Fit_Mama2Be]

Glad to hear you ladies are exercising and looking after yourselves as best you can.

I've been exercising too. I ride my bike just under 15 miles roundtrip 5 days a week and that really helps. Yesterday I went for a run with some friends...up and down a steep hill again and again...

I have a grief counselling appointment too; mine is on Tuesday. I hope it helps. I've been feeling really angry in the last couple of days (in addition to the usual sorrow) because I can't understand why this had to happen to my baby. It just isn't fair.

 

[jaspie]

It really isn't fair fit_mama. It totally and utterly sucks and we're all here for you xx I'm glad you've got an appointment sorted for Tuesday, I'm sure it will help in the long run even if it doesn't feel like it immediately xx

 

[Blu10]

Hope your appointment goes well too fit_mama. It all seems so unfair, especially when people have healthy babies they don't even want, it makes me so mad.
Hope you ladies are having a lovely Sunday - I've had a chilled morning with DS and DH at home as its been raining pretty heavy all day. Going to catch up with household chores now then watch a film with DH tonight 😊
Bleeding seems to be tailing off now and I'm hoping we can resume 'activities' soon haha x

 

[hopie2015]

FitMama- I'm really sorry. Totally hear you 100%. So unfair. So devastating. I am glad you have an appt. on Tuesday! I am sure it will help.

Jaspie- seriously 4 miles after not running for that long?? That is amazing!! Congratulations on that. I bet it felt great!
Spinning helped but then I go home and the blues hit again.
Blu- hope your day is going well. Glad to hear you are not depressed. Yes- it just sounds like all of the steps of the grief process for sure.

Well ladies, I am back from the shrink! $150 later she tells me I am depressed. No, really? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. haha! I must say she was helpful. I went to her years ago after something bad happened. She does the talking most of the time, which I like.
I'll post on here more of advice in the next couple weeks in hopes it is helpful to others.
I said all the things to her we have all felt... so unfair, everything seemed so perfect, so many people who do unhealthy things through pregnancies, etc. and I (like we all) did everything by the book. WHY did this have to happen??
Well, there is no sense in figuring out why anymore. I now must work on answering, "what now?"

I can't give into the fear..or it will grow. Years will pass and someday I will regret not trying again for a baby when it really is too late.
Worrying and fear won't do anything to prevent a miscarriage. So many women go through having one (even my counselor did). She said it is one of the most devastating events that can happen to a woman, and nobody understands unless you have been through it.
Why we are all such a good support network here.

She said just keep feeling the pain and the grief. When I feel numb, dig deeper to feel an emotion. Know the emotions will pass. In time I will find closure. But only if go fully through the process.

And oh does this process suck! But she reminded me nobody on the planet has life without pain. Emotional pain is part of living. I must accept that and work on good coping skills. And move on to build the life I really want.

Jaspie- I hope your session went well and Fit- good luck tomorrow. Keep up the long bike rides! Blu- I liked best when she talked about last stage, 'acceptance', and assured me I will get there...as we all will.
Take care and keep posted on how you're doing~