hormones raging- yelling and being mean to everybody. Step dad is being a total ass

[thecurlymama]

Okay so this is pretty much a rant about how I feel really ff'n mean towards everybody (almost everybody). My hormones have been going insane and I've been yelling all the time. I feel horrible for it a lot of the time, except the fact that my step dad (and mom on occasion) are being assholes! Not in any sort of abusive way, it's just their presence makes me angry!

I overreacted to a suggestion that I go camping after the baby's born when it's only two weeks old. I objected loudly and said that I wasn't going to let any of my family hold him/her for two whole months. (Obviously that's not true- but I was already feeling irritable) My stepdad says cockily while laughing "HA! yeah right... good luck with that. That's not healthy for your baby AT ALL." Now, this really ff'n pissed me off! I will do whatever the hell I want with my newborn and just cause I don't let him hold him/her doesn't mean my darling boyfriend won't or my other loving family members won't. The other night he got drunk and forgot an item on the shopping list. Him and I were going through the receipt to find if he'd actually bought the item or not. It was rye bread for ruben sandwiches. After inspection, there was no rye bread, however there was vodka on the receipt. I commented and he said "huh that's weird." (He's an alcoholic... who cannot handle his alcohol at all and drinks secretly which is really unhealthy for him.) My mom was out but when she got back I told her. She asked him about it and he said that the rye bread had been put down on the receipt as vodka. WHO SAYS SOMETHING SO STUPID?! no. your birthday was "confirmed for age" on the damn piece of paper dude! A few nights before he'd had too much to drink and was playing with his son- my eight year old brother. My bro came downstairs with a huge scratch on his arm. We asked what happened and he said dad had grabbed him- he insisted that it was an accident and I believe it was, but that shouldn't be happening!

I'm feeling super irritated all the time lately and I don't think it's good for my little one- probably stressing the poor little fetus.

Sorry about the big long rant but I'm just fed up!

 

[lizmageeful]

im so sorry that you're going through that.
Is there anyone you can stay with until things cool down? doesnt sound like a healthy environment for you and baby right now. Hope all gets better. PM me if you need to talk

 

[thecurlymama]

im so sorry that you're going through that.
Is there anyone you can stay with until things cool down? doesnt sound like a healthy environment for you and baby right now. Hope all gets better. PM me if you need to talk

I guess I could stay at my boyfriend's place a couple more days per week but it's a really long bus ride to school for me in the morning, and I'm still getting used to my boyfriend's sister and fiance who he lives with and I don't know if I'd be totally comfortable staying there more than two or three days a week.

 

[lizmageeful]

Yeah, i understand that. OH moved in with me out of necessity 7 days a week soon after we found out, and it was more than kind of an adjustment. i hope things get better. maybe find something to distract yourself with at home?

 

[thecurlymama]

well, my boyfriend and I used to live across the street from each other. He was living with his mom in a small apartment. We spent most of our time together, but if either of us needed alone time or that homey feeling we could just run across the street and then go back to hanging out within like twenty seconds. I really liked that, but he felt like he needed to move out of his mom's place to feel more like an "adult". I could totally understand and I really thought it'd be a good idea for him, but now that he lives with his big sister she bosses him around more than his mom did! (He's 19, his sister's 23). He doesn't seem real happy there, and I don't always feel really comfortable there cause it feels like its his sister's place- not his. I wish him and I had the money to move into our own place, or atleast him get his own place where I could stay four or five days a week.

I do art and stuff... like drawing, painting, scrap booking, etc... but it never seems to last for long, I always seem to get distracted or end up getting called downstairs to help around the house. There's currently 7 people living in my house and so there's a lot to be done but I feel like just relaxing and doing art. Even school four days a week is wearing me out!

This is getting totally off track now, but I appreciate your response! haha