So on Weds and Thurs DH and I had sex, we have been about every week but this was the first time twice in two days...anyway I spotted a little of red blood so I called the midwife on call and she said it was normal due to increased cervical blood vessels...it was a tiny amt so it wasnt too alarming but in 9 weeks I havent spotted at all so she said I could go in Fri for a bedside ultrasound to make sure everything was ok...
When I went in the midwife couldnt find anything (a week ago at my appt a midwife found the bean with the bedside u/s) but she wasnt very experienced so she called in another midwife who said she saw something but couldnt see a heartbeat and it looked to small for 9 weeks so it could be a miscarriage (exact words out loud to me)
Needless to say I was freaked, they send me to a real sonographer to get a real ultrasound, she said she would try on my belly then do a transvaginal if she had to, well right away she found the little guy hearbeat clear at 181 and arms and legs moving around, such relief!!
Here are my takeaways from this experience: I am an RN and I used to work hospice, at some point you get in a routine of seeing the same thing for me people dying for these midwives people losing pregnancies I totally get it, the key is to NEVER act insensitive or callous, I would never walk into a room where the family is by the bedside of there loved one who is dying and say yep not long now...you treat every case with kid gloves, so for the midwives out there PLEASE remember newly pregnant moms are FRAGILE and watch what you say...if ultrasounds arent your expertise fine but dont throw out comments if you arent sure, we hang on to them!
I set up an appt with an OB that day I didnt say why I dont need anyone feeling horrible, but I had to share with you gals!
When I went in the midwife couldnt find anything (a week ago at my appt a midwife found the bean with the bedside u/s) but she wasnt very experienced so she called in another midwife who said she saw something but couldnt see a heartbeat and it looked to small for 9 weeks so it could be a miscarriage (exact words out loud to me)
Needless to say I was freaked, they send me to a real sonographer to get a real ultrasound, she said she would try on my belly then do a transvaginal if she had to, well right away she found the little guy hearbeat clear at 181 and arms and legs moving around, such relief!!
Here are my takeaways from this experience: I am an RN and I used to work hospice, at some point you get in a routine of seeing the same thing for me people dying for these midwives people losing pregnancies I totally get it, the key is to NEVER act insensitive or callous, I would never walk into a room where the family is by the bedside of there loved one who is dying and say yep not long now...you treat every case with kid gloves, so for the midwives out there PLEASE remember newly pregnant moms are FRAGILE and watch what you say...if ultrasounds arent your expertise fine but dont throw out comments if you arent sure, we hang on to them!
I set up an appt with an OB that day I didnt say why I dont need anyone feeling horrible, but I had to share with you gals!
Glad your babys okay.
xxxx
what a nightmare. Im sorry you had a bad experience, I would've been livid at them for being so damn insensitive. Im glad that you and baby are all good though 
Hopefully if you need to go for another scan you'll get some better midwives helping you! xx
From the way you say it, that's what I would have taken away from it. I'm not sure I would have thought she was unprofessional for trying to prepare me for that possibility. But feelings and facts can get lost in translation, so perhaps it was a lot worse in real life, but that didn't come across to me. But if they made you feel scared like that, then that's not right. MWs shouldn't make you that scared; they should only inform you of the risks and concerns, but in a nice and reassuring way. 
