Horror story my cousin shared with me

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Essence, Dec 26, 2009.

  1. Essence

    Essence Due March 10, 2010!!!

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    My cousin had a horrible time with her 2nd birth that she was telling me about yesterday. Long story, scary story (In my opinion) This may all be TMI, so only read on if you want.

    It was her 2nd pregnancy (The boy is just under a year old now). Her mom was visiting but left by around 7pm- and she was feeling absolutely normal. By midnight, she had shooting pains that were overwhelming, so she called her mom to come over. Her mom didnt think it would happen too quickly, so she said "Let me have a shower first, then I will pop over and we will head to the hospital" (Her mom lives about 15 min away from her, and the hospital she was delivering at was just over 1 hour away.. which is 100% normal here because it is a small town in the middle of no where).
    She had to scream about how urgent it was to get her mom to change her mind about the whole 'taking a shower thing' before she got her point across.

    Now on to the graphic bit. Once in the vehicle on their way, her water broke. She started bleeding heavily & due to the amount if pain and numbness of everything all together, she started peeing herself uncontrollably while in the passenger seat. She was literally soaked from the belly button down because her clothing was soaking everything up- the floor boards were soaked and it was like she had poured buckets of water through the interior of the passenger seat. It was January (This is Canada, so just imagine -30 or colder Celcius, or around -45C if you factor in windchill) and she was soaking wet and they get to the hospital and are finally put in to a room. They check her and she is only 3 cm. The doctor, for some stupid reason this part of the story makes me angry, comes in around 3am (They had been at the hospital under 2 hours) and says " I'll see you at 8 in the morning, I don't think you will be progressing much more" and he leaves!!

    Then, right before 4am, she gets up to go to the washroom and is struck immediatly with the urge to push. The nurses scream at her not to, which she doesnt, and by the time she is laying back down in the bed with the nurse trying to get gloves on, my cousin screams "The head is already out!" and before the nurse had time to react to do anything to help, the baby was born. My cousin had such horrible tearing that she was in surgery for 2.5 hours afterward!


    AHHHHHHH my eyes almost popped out of my head when she told me this, and her mom was standing there nodding to confirm it. What a horrible thing to go through, but at least the baby was healthy!

    I have such fears of tearing- this may be TMI, but for me, sex has always been painful because of how narrow I am down there, and it still is painful even now. I am so scared of having such a terrible tear as she did and she said that sex for her had never been painful so she showed concern for me and all I can picture is being pieced back together now too! She said that even though it has been almost a year she is still tender down there, she says it still looks horrible and disfigured! She says she is very self conscious, even with her babies daddy, about her 'lower area' now and is afraid it wont go back to normal! :( What a horror story!! :( I would have been sooo upset if that was me.
     
  2. Celesse

    Celesse Well-Known Member

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    Your poor cousin.
     
  3. bumper

    bumper Well-Known Member

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    That sounds terrible, my heart goes out to your cousin. Milton Keynes is my local hospital... I'm unenamoured with that hospital, that's the sort of thing I could imagine happening there. Was your cousin's LO ok?
     
  4. BBonBoard

    BBonBoard Proud Mommy of 2 girls

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    what a horrible story, hope everything turns out ok for you, and all the rest of the ladies here on baby and bump
     
  5. passengerrach

    passengerrach mummy to kai

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    your poor cousin! but try not to listen to horror stories too much things like that happen so rarely and as for being scared of tearing just listen to what your midwife is telling you to do and its much less likely to happen. i had to have stitches and they are fine you would not even know and my friend has given birth a week ago and she had quite a lot of stitches and while uncomfortable she says they are fine and shes out and about so try not to worry about all this, and can i just say how mean of her to tell you this horror story when you will be giving birth in the not too distant future true or not its not very nice of her to frighten you like that!
     
  6. Essence

    Essence Due March 10, 2010!!!

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    Yeah I was kinda upset that she told me that, but I guess it is like you said, it is a rare thing to happen. I mean, if her doctor would have just stuck around for a little longer, or the nurses would have been more on the ball, then everything would have gone a lot smoother!

    And yep, her LO is perfectly fine. My aunt said that it was so scary running to the foot of the hospital bed to grab the baby as it was born so that it didn't fall, especially with the nurse too worried about putting on gloves to try to do the same. But he is perfectly healthy and safe, and such a calm, quiet little guy it is hard to believe he came in to the world in such a rush and commotion!


    Do you guys know if the drive to the hospital is usually that.. uhmm.. messy? Maybe I will make a thread and ask everyone about pre-labor car readiness! Lol.
     
  7. passengerrach

    passengerrach mummy to kai

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    my ride to the hospital was not messy at all hun lol try not to worry about these things
     
  8. babybaillie

    babybaillie Well-Known Member

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    I always get angry when u hear women telling pregnant women horror stories. Childbirth is painful, and unpredictable, and scarey when ur having ur 1st. I think its always best not to listen to such stories, as it can upset u and make u anxious. and every birth story is diffrent. ive had 2 kids b4 and it might have seemed bad at the time. But u sure do forget the pain. and its worth it
     
  9. Eve

    Eve Well-Known Member

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    I feel the same about the stories. I haven't had the best experience by no means with my last delivery and I try and watch what I say to others because I would hate to scare them.

    As for the messiness etc... my personal experience with my first was not messy at all :) My water didn't break until the doctors broke it after a few hours of labor so it was all good with me :) Every labor and delivery is different and in most cases things are fine... Most people do not tear bad like that anymore and when they do it's usually due to very very quick delivery. Try not to worry and don't think everything will happen to you that you hear.
     
  10. mumnbean

    mumnbean Well-Known Member

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    The physio I have been seeing has talked about something called an EPI NO which is like balloon thing that you can insert starting about 36weeks to help stretch yourself up to 10cm, to avoid tearing and/or need for episiotomy.

    Have heard mixed reviews, but you can order it online, and I think its probably worth a shot... not going to do any harm anyway!
     
  11. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    I dont honestly know what women are thinking telling stories like this. The vast majority of births go off without this type of drama (no disrespect intended).

    I had a wonderful birth. My waters went at home and they carried on gushing in the car but it was no big deal. We laughed as I squelched in to the Birth Centre!

    The whole thing was amazing and within minutes of giving birth, I was telling my hubby how I wanted to do it all again. I am soooo excited to give birth again. Gosh if I could bottle that atmosphere of the last 30 mins leading up to the birth and the hours after I would. I never thought I'd want a video of my giving birth but I really do - not the close up crowning or anything just being in the room to catch the moment....amazing.

    And it's a huge cliché but true....if it were so bad we'd be a world of 1 child families....and I'm already thinking about #4 :)
     
  12. LouLou78

    LouLou78 Mum to 3 gorgeous girls

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    I must say except for the rudeness of the doctor I would say that story sounded quite normal. Yes, 2nd babies come quicker and this story sounded typical of that. It was unfortunate that she tore, if you are going to tear you will tear not much can be done to avoid it. :)
     
  13. sweetniss113

    sweetniss113 Well-Known Member

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    I always laugh when people tell me the horror stories because I am expecting #5 now I have been lucky to have easy birth and labor with all of mine so far. Less than 3 hours of labor each and no stitches yet either. I can't wait to do it again. Yes it hurts but it is so worth every second of pain. And all the pain is soon forgotten when you get to hold your LO for the first time.
     
  14. Nic1107

    Nic1107 Mommy to a toddler

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    Eek... glad I'm going to a good hospital and the birthing centre already knows me quite well, I should hope the doctor won't abandon me like that! Your poor cousin, that must have been so scary. Honestly though for some reason the "peeing herself uncontrollably" part scared me more than the rest! I think I'll be buying a pack of those adult diaper things for the ride to the hospital, just in case. lol
     
  15. mummyjax

    mummyjax Well-Known Member

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    My 2nd was 9 days overdue and I had a sweep at 2pm. I woke at 1.05am with what I thought was a contraction. I waited an hour before I woke my husband to make sure it was labour. I had a cup of tea and a shower then phoned the hospital and they said to wait until I has 3 contractions in 10 mins. I said I live 45 mins from the hospital and was told I sounded quite anxious so to come in. We left for the hospital at 3am and I knew I wasn't going to make it.

    My husband called for an ambulance and they were going to meet us. My waters broke in the car, I felt I needed to push and wasnt sure if I was 10cm but I just had to go with how I felt. My daughter was born at 3.25am while I was sat in the front seat of the car, I still had my pants and trousers on but was told this stopped her shooting out.

    I had a bad tear and developed a prolapse which was probably due to pushing when I wasn't fully dilated but I am expecting my 3rd any day so it didnt put me off and it was over so quickly and forgotten.

    So I dont see it as a horror story, its just another story to tell when my daughter is older and everything turned out alright.
     
  16. Essence

    Essence Due March 10, 2010!!!

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    Yeah, I know she wasn't trying to scare me when she told me, we were just on the subject of births and I openly asked her how hers had been. So I did ask for it, and I &she both knew I could handle it, and she thought that by sharing the information with me that it could also help prepare me for the worst (I am very worried about tearing so she thought that sharing that info with me, would give me something to work off of, or at least the courage to talk to my doctor about what can be done to prevent it the best as we can).

    I am finding that a lot of people in my life lately are telling me "It is a breeze" or "Nothing to worry about" in hopes to calm me down and not think about it... and that isn't what I want to hear- I want to hear the horror stories, i want to know what the worst to expect is so that I can be ready and that way whatever happens, I am ready for :)

    Mummyjax, that is sooo crazy that the baby came so quickly! I hope everyone was healthy in the end though!
     
  17. philly_bear24

    philly_bear24 Mummy to Imogen

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    You don't need to panicabout what your birth will be like 'cos you won't know until it happens so panicking won't help at all. My birth wasn't exactly plain sailing (pre-eclampsia/forceps/etc.) but I'm still here, my little one is healthy and I'd do it again a million times over!
     
  18. Pyrrhic

    Pyrrhic Well-Known Member

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    Its a shame that people are so quick to share the scary stories and for some women it seems to turn into a competition on who had the worst birth experience. When I was PG I had a 'friend' delight in telling me about how much pain I had coming, and how I'd never cope.

    When I got to 2nd tri, I just stopped listening to these people. For every person who had an awful experience, there are many more who had a great one. Why listen to the bad when you can hear the good? I listened to my friends who'd had wonderful experiences, and read online and watched videos of calm, lovely births.

    It isn't always a bad experience, and I don't know why, as a society we gravitate towards that conclusion and seem to scare ourselves witless about it. I loved labour, it was a wonderful experience and many people agree with how I found it.
     
  19. Pyrrhic

    Pyrrhic Well-Known Member

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    Totally agree! I also said a few minutes after birth I wanted to do it again that night. The feeling is the biggest high I have ever been on. It's so indescribable how amazing it all is.

    I've also told OH I want a video, or pictures of us and the time before and after birth. Like you, not the actual birth but the moment.

    I wish I could experience it all the time. It's phenomenal.
     

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