How attached are your kids to deceased pets?

[SarahBear]

Our cat got cancer about a year and a half ago. We put him down in August of 2017. Violet was 4 at the time and is now 6. She doesn't think or talk about him all the time, but it comes and goes in phases. Today before going to school, she wanted to put a scarf on his grave because it is cold out. In the past, she has put toys on his grave because he was a playful cat. Other times she has put flowers or other things on his grave. Often the things she puts out there have some sort of symbolic meaning. Other times she just thinks they are nice. Sometimes she wants to visit his grave and sing to him or think about him. Although this all made sense to me as part of the grieving process in the beginning, I'm surprised to see it still happening. We do have new pets, but she isn't into dogs and our new cat is more aloof. She has gotten better about earning the new kitty's trust, but misses the friendliness of our old cat. I'm thinking about trying to foster some friendlier kittens and she really likes the idea. Does anyone else's child have a longer than expected attachment to or grieving process for a deceased pet?

 

[Bevziibubble]

My DD still cries sometimes over the death of her gerbil which happened a few months ago. I can remember my budgie dying when I was a child and I was upset for ages, even years later I would tear up talking about it.

 

[alliec]

My five-year-old son is still massively attached to the memory of our cat who passed away two years ago. He adored Aubrey who was old and chill and slept in his bed and allowed vigorous toddler cuddles. He's given the name Aubrey to most of his cat stuffed animals, all of the cat artwork in the house, and all the cats on his clothes. He dressed up as a cat for Halloween this year and told everyone that he was "my passed away cat, Aubrey." We have a Japanese maple planted over Aubrey's grave that he waters regularly, and he asks us to decorate the tree for holidays "so Aubrey doesn't get left out."

It's a much stronger attachment than we expected but he is a very affectionate and sensitive child so it isn't strange in the context of his personality. He says that when we get another cat we are going to call it Aubrey as well. It'll be years before we can have another cat so we'll see if he's still super attached when he's ten or twelve.

I think it's lovely that you might have the opportunity to foster some kittens that might have personalities that will please your daughter. I'm sure she'll enjoy getting to know them!

 

[jessmke]

Isla was only 5 months old when our boxer Aspen died suddenly. Isla is now 3 years old and asks all the time to watch videos of Aspen, wants to look at pictures of her, asked me to put a picture of her and Aspen up in her room, etc. I know logically Isla would have no real memory of this dog, but the dog was absolutely infatuated with her and the two of them were attached at the hip for those first five months of Isla's life. I can't help but wonder if Isla can still feel that connection with her even though she doesn't have any real memories. Isla is also very attached to our current dog and cat, but Aspen seems to have a very special place in her heart.

 

[Twag]

I still remember the death of my rabbit when I was a child and I am now 38 - I think at such a young age and a pet that had always been there the attachment is strong - I don't think there is anything wrong with it just a sensitive soul.

Our dog Lela died suddenly when my son was 3 and he still mentions her all the time and we always say when we see rainbows that she has come to say hello I love that (as I still miss her terribly and it has been 2 years now)