How could anyone even think this??? :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by amymarx, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. amymarx

    amymarx Mum of 1 beautiful boy :)

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    OH and I called round to a friends sisters house last night as she was having a house warming party. I didn't particularly want to go as I know the kind of crowd (all the men just get really drunk and stoned) while the women just sit around and bitch about people, but I thought seeing as it was a sat night and 2 of my close friends were going to be there that there would be no harm in just popping in for a few minutes.

    Anyway after having sat outside for most of our visit we decided to leave and we passed through the living room were all the women were sitting. They started asking me questions about being pregnant, the usual "when are you due?" "are you not terrified?" etc etc which was fine but when I mentioned that I was doing it naturally all 4 of them laughed in my face and made me feel like a complete idiot. "you'll not be saying that when your in labour" etc but I just took it on the chin keeping in mind that none of these women have had kids so they don't know what they are talking about.
    Well this is were is gets really bad one of the (who I'd never met before) turns round and says
    "That's just a parasite inside you stealing your food. I'm sorry but it is just a parasite"
    I was sooo disgusted I couldn't gather any words to talk back! How DARE she call MY SON a PARASITE??? I have never been so hurt in my entire life and its worse because she was a complete stranger! Not only how could anyone say something like that but how could she even believe that herself?
    I'm just so upset and disappointed that my little baby had to hear someone call him a PARASITE. What a horrible word.
    She then went on to say how bumps were disgusting and she hated it when they moved.
    I'm sorry for the rant ladies but it was such a shitty ending to a wonderful day and now I can't stop thinking about it and gettin upset!
     
  2. raeraefish

    raeraefish Mum to 2, 3rd on the way!

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    Some people just don't think before speaking, she is either not maternal in the slightest or jealous, try to ignore the comments and not let her bother you....she's just a silly cow x
     
  3. SugarFairy

    SugarFairy Well-Known Member

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    Some women say these things out of jealousy. I bet she doesn't honestly think that but feels the need to say something to show others she doesn't care that she's not got what you have. Ignore her. Your baby is a miracle and is a whole new person in his own right.
    As for comments about your plan for birth - I've not told anyone except a lovely girl I used to work with that I intend to have a home birth. I don't want the hassle of others telling me what could go wrong and that I'll be sorry when I can't have extra pain relief. Even my DH - who does know of course - is always trying to talk me out of it. You stick with what you want and don't let the comments of others put you off. And if you change your mind when you're in labour then so be it, no big deal
    Hugs for you. Ignore these stupid women x
     
  4. Newt

    Newt tiny amphibious salamanda

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    this comment or person is just not worth you thinking about or upsetting yourself. sounds like a right bitch, forget her.
     
  5. Brieanna

    Brieanna Well-Known Member

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    Wow. I am guessing that there must have been some drinking going on for complete strangers to say some of those things to you. I am guessing that if any of them had ever had a baby they would never say those things. At least you don't have to be friends with them. I always wish I could come up with some clever comeback when someone says something, like when she said bumps were disgusting, but I never can!

    My OH sometimes calls our baby a parasite, but he says it in a nice, funny way, like "how is my cute little parasite doing today" to my bump when he gets home from work. I think it's funny, but that is our sense of humor and neither of us would ever say anything like that to a complete stranger.

    Try to focus on positive things and maybe that will make you feel better and try not to let it keep upsetting you (I know easier said than done) because it's not worth it. Good luck and happy thoughts your way. :)
     
  6. Gbobs

    Gbobs Well-Known Member

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    Urgh what a disgusting thing for someone to say........even if she wasn't particularly maternal or didn't want kids herself, why would anyone even think to say that?! After all even she was a "parasite" once (and still is by the sound of it but now a nasty one).

    I'd definitely try and ignore what she said, she was probably trying to show off in front of her friends and drunk. I always hate situations like that as I can never think of anything clever to say back but always think afterwards "wish I'd have said or done that".

    At the end of the day you know that's not what your little baby is inside you - and most normal people (whether they have/want kids or not) do too.......it's a little miracle.
     
  7. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    Try to let it roll of your back, you don't know this lady and neither will you see her again probably. She may have had a few drinks which always gives people diarhea of the mouth.

    My doctor recently called my baby a parasite, lol. I've been a little concerned because I haven't gained any weight at all during this pregnancy, lost 10lbs in fact, and I'm 9mos preggo! Last week my ultrasound that this baby is pretty small, in the 30th percentile and it got me worried that it was because of my lack of weight gain. The doctor assured me that the baby's growth has nearly nothing to do with my weight gain or even how much I eat, that the baby itself regulates only what it needs from my system, therefore it really just acts like a parasite. I don't take it the wrong way because in reality it does function like a parasite feeding off its mommy!
     
  8. MummyinJune

    MummyinJune Well-Known Member

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    What a bitch... Sounds to me as if they r jelous!! Forget about them u will have a lovley baby soon and that is not a parasite! xx
     
  9. Londonbump81

    Londonbump81 Well-Known Member

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    Technically all LO's are parasites. The term parasite just means that it's something that feeds off another living being to survive. Try not to take it personally, my mum calls mine one in a scientific way lol and if this was a total stranger it's not worth getting yourself upset over something said by someone who means absolutely zilch to you. Don't stress yourself and let it wash over you, more important to keep strong and healthy for bubba. Some people just speak before thinking (especially after booze!)

    Keep smiling :)
     
  10. Itsychik

    Itsychik Well-Known Member

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    Try not to let it get to you hun... She probably didn't mean it personally, and she clearly has no respect for the miracle of life.

    A couple of years ago I actually was watching a TV show (some dating/reality show) where a girl on there said she never wanted to have a baby for the exact same reason, because she didn't want a "parasite messing up her body." At the time I laughed at what an idiot she was and just reminded myself that it's better that people like that don't want to have kids if that's how they think!

    Don't let her comments ruin your day!
     
  11. mons75

    mons75 Well-Known Member

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    Avoid those ppl at all costs. Not nice.
     
  12. amymarx

    amymarx Mum of 1 beautiful boy :)

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    Well unfortunately she definitely didnt mean it in a scientific way, infact I dont actually think she had the brains to be scientific about anything. She assumed that because her sister is pregnant it gave her the right to voice her opinion on how disgusting it was, she didnt even consider how hurtful or offensive any of her comments might be. And the best thing about it is I didnt see an alcoholic drink in her hands all night!
     
  13. Pippin

    Pippin Sam and Adélie-Rose's Mum

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    Horrible women :shock: all I can say is I hope she never has children, I'd feel sorry for them. Mind you she doesn't know what she's missing so more fool her!!!! Ignore her hun, she's ignorant and clearly very stupid! Next time tell her that's hurtful and maybe she'll think twice about opening her mouth next time.
     
  14. Pessimistic

    Pessimistic Well-Known Member

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    What a bitch.

    It is a typical statement I'd expect from someone who is probably quite bitter and jealous. Sounds like she is almost trying to convince herself that pregnancy is disgusting or whatever she thinks.
    Even if she didn't like pregnancy or thought babies in the womb were 'parasites' she should have kept that to herself, if she was considerate and happy in herself she would have said good luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy. (I would have thought so anyway..)
     
  15. Stargazer77

    Stargazer77 Well-Known Member

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    You can't fix stupid.
     
  16. Ouverture

    Ouverture Well-Known Member

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    Don't spend your time and energy being upset over a comment that a very stupid, ignorant person made. I can't believe she said that either, but the joke is on her. . .she is a bitter soul and has a lot of maturing to do!

    :hugs:
     
  17. keljt1127

    keljt1127 Well-Known Member

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    well she can f off !! cuz she was a parasite to then at one point dumb lady!
     
  18. leahsbabybump

    leahsbabybump Mummy to 3

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    take no notice she is probably jealous because like you said all their men just sit about getting stoned etc were as your OH has grown up and taken the responsibilty to be a man and a dad probably something she sees her OH will struggle or never do.
    its just stupid childish behaviour to speak to someone like that there not worth your ear. of course its possible for someone to give birth naturally how do they think our grandparent got on and there grandparents before that there was no such thing as an epidural then and they just got on with it. I mentioned to someone the other day i wanta natural birth and they asked me if i thought i was usper woman :[email protected] like a previous poster said some people just dont think before they open their mouth xx
     
  19. oaklvr

    oaklvr Well-Known Member

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    I don't understand why women of all people try and discourage natural labors and laugh at those who have goals for them. I will never tell someone that it doesn't hurt, it hurts extremely bad, but I wouldn't tell them they COULDN'T do it. I've had a lot of people tell me with both my pregnancies that I couldn't go natural and laugh at me or act annoyed. How weird of them. I've found men of all people MORE supportive with the natural birth process. I guess they kinda stay out of it though, since they know they don't get what they're talking about lol.

    About the parasite thing, my sister is like this. She is not very motherly. She has said rude things to me in my first pregnancy, and she doesn't like the idea of pregnancy and birth. Most of these people are just blunt and think they can voice their opinions on EVERYTHING and pregnancy just happens to be one of them. My sister got better and tries to be nicer now that I'm pregnant with my second. We were joking the other day about my parasite, and I agreed, it is parasitic in nature, but they have to be grown some how.
     
  20. Misstrouble19

    Misstrouble19 Mummy,Daddy,Rhys

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    no ignore the bitch :)
     

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