How did having a baby change your life?

[LunaFleur]

Hi ladies,

so I was discussing with another member of BnB about how some people have such negative things to say about having a baby, I know everyones lives are different but could we please hear some positive stories of how your life has changed
When I say we are going to be starting a family soon I don't want to always hear groans and huffs and puffs about how I will always be tired, how I can't just pick up and go away on spontaneous weekends away or how I will be having sleepless nights.
I had a MC a few years back and it offends me when people talk to me patronisingly as if I am too young to be considering a family, I am 26, and not interested in partying or going out getting wasted. I love being a housewife, I love to cook beautiful meals and bake, I love to keep a immaculate home, and for people to assume that I am young, immature and not ready to be a Mother purely because of my age really annoys me, and it bothers me all the more because I know I should already be a Mother. I know plenty of people who don't have children also can be very negative in their "Your life will be over" opinions, what is with that!
Sorry, this has become a bit of a rant lol! But happy Mothers of the world, tell me your lovely stories, could you please tell me those moments that make you forget about the pooey nappies and 3am feeds, because I can't wait for that
I guess what I am asking for is anything positive you can share with us ladies who are WTT, from birth and pregnancy epiphanys to the first night home with your LO and day to day life with you, your OH and LO

 

[AngelofTroy]

I absolutely love that you've posted this! I mean, I'm sad that people have tried to put you off and not taken you seriously, but I think it's lovely that you want to hear positive stories and that you're so excited to become a parent.

My nearly 2 year old was not planned, he was a surprise and a bit of a shock to be honest, to a young just engaged couple who thought their parenting years were a while off yet.

I can honestly say that Micah is the best thing that ever happened to us. Watching my OH laugh and play with him makes me so happy and so sure of our little family. OK so the sleepless nights at the beginning are hard, but the first time he smiled at me I think my heart honestly melted a bit and was never the same again! When he first said 'I love you'.. I can't even put that feeling into words! He makes me so proud, and my absolute favourite thing to do of an evening is when OH and I sneak into his room while he's sleeping and watch him sleep! (sometimes we even poke him softly to hear what he says! )

You have an amazing journey ahead of you.

 

[geordiemoo]

Absolutely for the better. It took us a long time to get Evie and she was very much wanted so I think we were maybe a little more prepared. The sleepless nights at the very beginning were hard but at the same time at 4am when you are looking at the most gorgeous thing to whom you are their world it makes it worthwhile. Yes maybe we need a babysitter if we want to go out or we need to think of child friendly places to go sometimes but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Our home has changed too, instead of being an adult only zone, we now have given up our dining table for a toy kitchen and toy storage but I don't mind. I don't think anyone can tell you when you are ready, only you know that.

 

[LunaFleur]

This was really lovely to read and filled me with joy just thinking about me and SO having those experiences your post had me all emotional as I can really feel the love and adoration you have for both you SO and LO, thankyou for sharing that I really can't wait!

I absolutely love that you've posted this! I mean, I'm sad that people have tried to put you off and not taken you seriously, but I think it's lovely that you want to hear positive stories and that you're so excited to become a parent.

My nearly 2 year old was not planned, he was a surprise and a bit of a shock to be honest, to a young just engaged couple who thought their parenting years were a while off yet.

I can honestly say that Micah is the best thing that ever happened to us. Watching my OH laugh and play with him makes me so happy and so sure of our little family. OK so the sleepless nights at the beginning are hard, but the first time he smiled at me I think my heart honestly melted a bit and was never the same again! When he first said 'I love you'.. I can't even put that feeling into words! He makes me so proud, and my absolute favourite thing to do of an evening is when OH and I sneak into his room while he's sleeping and watch him sleep! (sometimes we even poke him softly to hear what he says! )

You have an amazing journey ahead of you.

 

[LunaFleur]

Evie is such a lovely name! So happy to hear you got your precious little girl
We sacrificed an adult only zone when we got dogs lol, my house is spotless and I am so house proud, but lord knows that means hovering several times a day sometimes and constant cleaning and tidying after my fur babies and SO
And I agree, there isn't a time or date that you are suddenly ready for children, but you just know when you are

Absolutely for the better. It took us a long time to get Evie and she was very much wanted so I think we were maybe a little more prepared. The sleepless nights at the very beginning were hard but at the same time at 4am when you are looking at the most gorgeous thing to whom you are their world it makes it worthwhile. Yes maybe we need a babysitter if we want to go out or we need to think of child friendly places to go sometimes but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Our home has changed too, instead of being an adult only zone, we now have given up our dining table for a toy kitchen and toy storage but I don't mind. I don't think anyone can tell you when you are ready, only you know that.

 

[katherinegrey]

Honestly, parenting is hard work. I never, ever expected it to be so hard. There is no point me telling you how hard it is, because everyone finds it hard in their own way. We all hear about the sleepless nights and how messy your house will become, but nothing can prepare you.
HOWEVER, I can honestly say, without glossing over the hard bits, parenting is the best, most amazing thing I've ever done or ever will do. I look at my son and feel I was born to be his mother, as cheesy as it sounds, I feel my life is worthwhile as I created him. If bringing my perfect, beautiful boy into the world was my only purpose in life, I'll be happy with that.
Stupid little things will make my day. The way his hair is a mess when he wakes up in the morning is my favourite thing. I never thought I could be so proud and so excited of anyone gaining a new skill, but every new word he learns makes me burst with pride.
I had a really hard pregnancy and labour and birth, and after having him I just sat and watched him all night. I thought I'd want to sleep, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't close my eyes for a second, I just wanted to look at him sleeping. The midwife came to check on us after a few hours, and laughed at me because she said I hadn't moved an inch in all the hours she'd been gone.
There are just far too many moments to describe how wonderful being a mother is.
Sometimes I myself can lose sight of how amazing it is when I'm having a tough day.
All I'd say to those people who keep telling you about the bad bits is 'would you change it? If you could have your full nights sleep/ show home house/ long baths/ holidays back in exchange for your children, would you?'. I bet not one would say they'd make the trade.

 

[LunaFleur]

I am so glad I posted this thread, I can't express how much I love hearing your experiences and how you feel about your LO and being a Mother! I guess like you said while I have no idea what I am in for until I am in the moment, and I am so ready for it.
And how lovely, creating a beautiful child really is amazing thing a woman can do, and to spend your days caring and raising someone to go out into the world knowing you raised them that way is really something to be proud of

Honestly, parenting is hard work. I never, ever expected it to be so hard. There is no point me telling you how hard it is, because everyone finds it hard in their own way. We all hear about the sleepless nights and how messy your house will become, but nothing can prepare you.
HOWEVER, I can honestly say, without glossing over the hard bits, parenting is the best, most amazing thing I've ever done or ever will do. I look at my son and feel I was born to be his mother, as cheesy as it sounds, I feel my life is worthwhile as I created him. If bringing my perfect, beautiful boy into the world was my only purpose in life, I'll be happy with that.
Stupid little things will make my day. The way his hair is a mess when he wakes up in the morning is my favourite thing. I never thought I could be so proud and so excited of anyone gaining a new skill, but every new word he learns makes me burst with pride.
I had a really hard pregnancy and labour and birth, and after having him I just sat and watched him all night. I thought I'd want to sleep, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't close my eyes for a second, I just wanted to look at him sleeping. The midwife came to check on us after a few hours, and laughed at me because she said I hadn't moved an inch in all the hours she'd been gone.
There are just far too many moments to describe how wonderful being a mother is.
Sometimes I myself can lose sight of how amazing it is when I'm having a tough day.
All I'd say to those people who keep telling you about the bad bits is 'would you change it? If you could have your full nights sleep/ show home house/ long baths/ holidays back in exchange for your children, would you?'. I bet not one would say they'd make the trade.

 

[LunaFleur]

And yes you are right, I don't know anyone who would make the trade, I wouldn't even dream of trading my dogs after they had an accident on the carpet lol

Honestly, parenting is hard work. I never, ever expected it to be so hard. There is no point me telling you how hard it is, because everyone finds it hard in their own way. We all hear about the sleepless nights and how messy your house will become, but nothing can prepare you.
HOWEVER, I can honestly say, without glossing over the hard bits, parenting is the best, most amazing thing I've ever done or ever will do. I look at my son and feel I was born to be his mother, as cheesy as it sounds, I feel my life is worthwhile as I created him. If bringing my perfect, beautiful boy into the world was my only purpose in life, I'll be happy with that.
Stupid little things will make my day. The way his hair is a mess when he wakes up in the morning is my favourite thing. I never thought I could be so proud and so excited of anyone gaining a new skill, but every new word he learns makes me burst with pride.
I had a really hard pregnancy and labour and birth, and after having him I just sat and watched him all night. I thought I'd want to sleep, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't close my eyes for a second, I just wanted to look at him sleeping. The midwife came to check on us after a few hours, and laughed at me because she said I hadn't moved an inch in all the hours she'd been gone.
There are just far too many moments to describe how wonderful being a mother is.
Sometimes I myself can lose sight of how amazing it is when I'm having a tough day.
All I'd say to those people who keep telling you about the bad bits is 'would you change it? If you could have your full nights sleep/ show home house/ long baths/ holidays back in exchange for your children, would you?'. I bet not one would say they'd make the trade.

 

[Literati_Love]

I agree that it is very hard and the sleep deprivation and lack
of time to do anything are more severe than I imagined. But it is all worth it. When I pictured giving up everything for my baby, it seemed a little scary to me, but now I don't mind at all because I love her so much. I don't want to go on a holiday away from her because she is my favourite person! I also stayed up all night the first night she was born just holding her and looking at her. The moments when I am breastfeeding and she pulls away to gaze into my eyes and smile adoringly melt my heart. Seeing her play and look happy sends bubbles of joy to my heart. I also burst with pride whenever she fulfills a milestone. I even feel so proud of her when she gets a good burp out! Parenthood is harder than I expected, but way more rewarding and I feel so much more willing
To make the sacrifices than I expected! I hate it when people act like your life is over when you have kids. Really, it is just beginning!

 

[bcos21]

If I would have known how much joy I would feel, watching my son grow and discover new things, I would have had a baby years ago.

 

[DannaD]

I'm so glad I read all this, it made me teary! I'm so ready, and scared, but ready!

 

[tverb84]

After reading these posts I can't wait to have children. I just know if I were to not have any children it would be the biggest mistake of my life and I can't picture my life without children.

 

[staralfur]

Okay, so I had a high needs baby... she cried every minute of the day unless she was nursing, she would not be put down for a second, and I seriously had to get used to peeing while holding her for the first six months of her life. She slept like crap until 20 months and she's going through another phase now at 2.5. It has been hard and exhausting beyond words.

But she is absolutely hilarious. She makes me laugh all day long, she fills me with joy, and I get hit with that "I can't believe how much I love you" feeling at least once a day. I get to see the world through her eyes and it's amazing. She is filled with such curiosity and she sees the innocent, simple beauty in all things. She makes me step back and remember how great it was to be a child. I look forward to every holiday or special event so much more than I ever have, because I get to see her experience the excitement and magic of it all.

Nothing compares to hearing the words "I love you so much!" coming from this tiny little person who fills your whole heart. When she is upset or hurts herself and runs to me for comfort, and immediately relaxes, it reminds me that I am just as important to her as she is to me and it's such a close, incredible bond.

I watch her grow up and the bad memories from the baby days (or the ones from yesterday, even) just sort of fall apart and give way to the good ones and how much I just adore her. She was a complete surprise and I never wanted kids, but she is the biggest and best part of me. I think of my life before her, and yes, it was easier and I could be selfish and I had a lot more free time and sleep, but it was missing something and I didn't even know it. To love someone unconditionally and to value their life a million times more than your own... well, it's made me a far happier and more fulfilled person. I am a daughter, a wife, a friend, I have hobbies, and dreams for myself... but above all else I am a mother, HER mother, and that part of myself has made all the other parts better than they were before.

 

[kksy9b]

My goodness...wonderful thread and just what I needed right now. Yes, it is hard work and there are sacrifices. There are days I think I'm going crazy from lack of sleep and loneliness (SAHM to a baby who was sick for almost 2 months= never going out). But never, not for one moment since I saw that second pink line, have I wanted anything but this precious babe asleep in my arms right now. Even now as he is teething and in a growth spurt- refusing to sleep more than 30 minutes out of my arms for the past few days- I would not trade my life for all the riches of the world.

The joys- that second line. I think I put in my journal that I never knew how one small line would change my entire world until it happened. A baby who had been wanted for so long was coming...that "mom" mantle slipped on effortlessly. Getting to experience the firsts- first wave of nausea (which you want while preggo!), the first heartbeat (ironically your heart seems to stop in the span of time before baby's is found). The first kick when you think was that a kick or gas? But you just know it was your baby exploring and becoming aware of themselves. The ultrasound, gender reveal, when you get to feel the kicks from the outside, hiccups, discovering that you can play games with the baby. And so so much more. These are the joys of pregnancy.

And then finally-finally! Baby gets to come. And this instinctual kick ass gene awakens and its like " I am woman hear me roar" as you labor with every contraction bringing you closer and closer and then getting to push life into a tiny person. There was a moment in time that seemed suspended for me. When his head came out and this wave of relief flooded me and my eyes looked down to find him. It felt like an eternity wrapped into that moment where I knew that every prayer, every endless moment as little girl daydreaming, every moment soent wishing this baby to be here was coming true. And then that first look. When this creature who has been kicking my insides apart, who hated hiccups, who would tickle me, who i had shared a thousand special moments with already came into view and a part of my very soul was found and I felt more complete than I ever had before. And to look over and see my DH who had been cautiously distant during the pregnancy with tears streaming down his face as I watched him fall in love....it was beautiful.my entire existence was wrapped into that singular moment when my life was irrevocably changed and he became my everything.

And it has only gotten better. From nursing him to his smiles. Seeing him so much more curious about the world than I am and forcing me to slow down and explore these things with him. His milestones that he works SO hard for and seeing him accomplish and get to celebrate with him. When he is crying and hurting or tired or scared and no one but me can calm him. Where he goes from screaming in the arms of someone else to calm and snuggly in my arms in an instant...these are the joys of motherhood

There are so many difficult and frustrating moments as a parent. I find myself needing to step away for a moment. But you take a breath and go and get him and he has a smile on his face to see you because you are his while world. you forget why you were frustrated and instead you make a fort and pretend to shoot bad guys while your 5 month old looks at you like you're crazy for making "pew pew" sounds but loves you even more for making him laugh.

It's times like now where I've gotten 7 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours and have had a child attached to my breasts constantly that I think "this too shall pass" but not before I get to soak it all up...the good the bad and as many snuggles as my little guy wants to give

 

[DiabeticMommy]

Hi,

I should probably stay away from threads like this, until we're ready to TTC, but without a doubt, becoming a mommy & daddy is the best decision OH and I have ever made.

Don't get me wrong, its not a walk in the park, there'll be times when things get on top of you and you feel like you need to scream into a pillow just to voice your frustrations, but when that little face looks up at yours and nuzzles into you for a hug, your heart melts, your worries fade and the world is good again.

I'm sorry that people have given you negative feedback about your age, I think that as long as the baby is loved, s/he is a blessing, regardless.

My MIL was absolutely horrible when DH and I told her that we were expecting, her response was 'are you SURE that's what you want?' to OH, when she thought that she was out of my earshot! He promptly told her that we had been trying and that WE were absolutely ecstatic (Go on OH, get her told!)

We were happily married, with a good income, our own home etc, etc, so near enough 'perfect personal circumstances' didn't stop us from having negativity thrown our way either, goes to show that for some people, no joy on Earth is good enough (sums up my MIL quite well!)

I live in hope that people will stop being so judgemental all the time, for a better world for my son, but if he has even half of his mother in him, he'll stick up certain fingers to those who try to bring him down and have the time of his life doing whatever makes him happy (incidentally proving them wrong at the same time!)

 

[LunaFleur]

Hi ladies,
thank you so much for sharing your lives with us, I just showed my SO these and he thought they were so lovely hearing the happy and difficult stories helps me to stop worrying about the silly things because you all clearly wouldn't change your lives for the world! I am so excited to be joining you all in motherhood very soon

 

[kksy9b]

It will be wonderful for you when you decide to grow your family and it will change your life in all the best ways

There are some people who do go around complaining about their kiddos but others who are just having a moment of frustration after a hard day and probably regret it the next day...I always try taking it with a grain of salt because I'm sure we will all have a moment like that at some point in time

 

[tverb84]

My goodness...wonderful thread and just what I needed right now. Yes, it is hard work and there are sacrifices. There are days I think I'm going crazy from lack of sleep and loneliness (SAHM to a baby who was sick for almost 2 months= never going out). But never, not for one moment since I saw that second pink line, have I wanted anything but this precious babe asleep in my arms right now. Even now as he is teething and in a growth spurt- refusing to sleep more than 30 minutes out of my arms for the past few days- I would not trade my life for all the riches of the world.

The joys- that second line. I think I put in my journal that I never knew how one small line would change my entire world until it happened. A baby who had been wanted for so long was coming...that "mom" mantle slipped on effortlessly. Getting to experience the firsts- first wave of nausea (which you want while preggo!), the first heartbeat (ironically your heart seems to stop in the span of time before baby's is found). The first kick when you think was that a kick or gas? But you just know it was your baby exploring and becoming aware of themselves. The ultrasound, gender reveal, when you get to feel the kicks from the outside, hiccups, discovering that you can play games with the baby. And so so much more. These are the joys of pregnancy.

And then finally-finally! Baby gets to come. And this instinctual kick ass gene awakens and its like " I am woman hear me roar" as you labor with every contraction bringing you closer and closer and then getting to push life into a tiny person. There was a moment in time that seemed suspended for me. When his head came out and this wave of relief flooded me and my eyes looked down to find him. It felt like an eternity wrapped into that moment where I knew that every prayer, every endless moment as little girl daydreaming, every moment soent wishing this baby to be here was coming true. And then that first look. When this creature who has been kicking my insides apart, who hated hiccups, who would tickle me, who i had shared a thousand special moments with already came into view and a part of my very soul was found and I felt more complete than I ever had before. And to look over and see my DH who had been cautiously distant during the pregnancy with tears streaming down his face as I watched him fall in love....it was beautiful.my entire existence was wrapped into that singular moment when my life was irrevocably changed and he became my everything.

And it has only gotten better. From nursing him to his smiles. Seeing him so much more curious about the world than I am and forcing me to slow down and explore these things with him. His milestones that he works SO hard for and seeing him accomplish and get to celebrate with him. When he is crying and hurting or tired or scared and no one but me can calm him. Where he goes from screaming in the arms of someone else to calm and snuggly in my arms in an instant...these are the joys of motherhood

There are so many difficult and frustrating moments as a parent. I find myself needing to step away for a moment. But you take a breath and go and get him and he has a smile on his face to see you because you are his while world. you forget why you were frustrated and instead you make a fort and pretend to shoot bad guys while your 5 month old looks at you like you're crazy for making "pew pew" sounds but loves you even more for making him laugh.

It's times like now where I've gotten 7 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours and have had a child attached to my breasts constantly that I think "this too shall pass" but not before I get to soak it all up...the good the bad and as many snuggles as my little guy wants to give

This is one of the best posts I've read on here. I can't wait for the day when I have children and they call me mommy. When I hear children say mommy in public it makes me even more excited about having children one day.

 

[kksy9b]

You will be a wonderful mommy tverb and all the time spent waiting will be so worth it when you have your baby in you arms

 

[tverb84]

I just don't like the wait sometimes. My name is Tara so you can call me that if you want instead of my username.