I was dead set against trying again, Emmy was our first and it took us almost 5 years to get pregnant with her (IVF in the end). I honestly didn't think I could do it again. The midwife that delivered her heard me making my husband promise to never make me go through it again (not that it was in any way his fault). After Emmy was delivered we held her until she passed and then DH went outside to let our families know.
If it wasn't for that midwife I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to decide to try again. She said that DH and I were made to be parents, that everything pointed to a placental clot which meant it was just bad luck, our daughter was perfectly healthy for her age, just too early. She told me that after we'd grieved we shouldn't let the fear of what had happened take our dream from us and that she was sure she'd be seeing us under better circumstances, someday down the line.
That was on January 9th this year and 6 weeks later we found out the midwife was spot on. Emmy was perfectly healthy and an undiagnosed placental clot had started a placental separation which caused the prem labour. It took almost 4 months for me to be ready to go back to the IVF clinic to discuss using our frozen embryos, but we went and were given a tentative start date of May 17th (when AF was due) to start our treatment plan. The chances of us doing it naturally were next to zero since both DH and I have fertility issues. The trouble is no one told Sprout! Little did we know that when we went to the consultation the choice was already out of our hands and Sprout was snuggling in.
I got my
on the 17th of May and have been terrified every day since, but somehow more positive too. We've made a lot more decisions this time around than we did by 23 weeks with Emmy.
I'm on daily asprin (just incase) and as yet have had no bleeding (I bled from 13 weeks until 23 weeks last time). We've had 2 scans and are having extra scans at 16,20,24 weeks at least to keep an eye on my cervix (just in case, it didn't dilate until I'd been in labour 2 days) and my placenta and a GTT at 28 weeks. I'm also likely to be induced at 38 weeks, again, just in case but we'll discuss that closer to the time. If they do induce me it'll be on January 10th next year, one week and one day after our Emmy angel's birthday. I pray we make it that far and that our little Sprout is being watched over by his or her big sister.