How did you help your child understand that it's OK to have two same sex parents???

[fitmommy]

TFSGirl, thank you so much. I too believe that. But there are still some 'not so new age' people out there...I have one in my family. He had the nerve to tell me that my child will have learning disabilities and that it's not right for same sex couples to have children...that the children we have need a 'father' and so on...so these are the struggles we still have to deal with. It does bother me because it comes from someone in my family. I dealt with it and grew from it as well...I am more prepared for when I will have children. Sorry for bringing this sort of negative stuff up, but it is my reality at the moment. I without a doubt know that our children will be loved and happy!

Kristina

 

[Meishka]

TFSgirl- awww so sweet, thank you for your compliment! Congrats on your BFP!!! I hope your pregnancy is happy and healthy! Thank you for supporting gay parenting!

 

[Meishka]

Fit mommy- I know how you feel,there will always be people like that. When my son was in kindergarten I had him going to private school and had to actually pull him out because a parent was complaining that my child shouldn't be able to attend since he had gay parents! Then his teacher tried to say that my son was trying to kiss a boy in his class. He was only 5yrs old! When I asked my son he said that he didn't try to kiss anyone, and didn't know what he was in trouble for. He said him and another kid were playing a game where they were pretending to switch heads, lol, kids games, they would put their chins on each others shoulder and when they pulled back they would pretend that they had switched heads. Well I guess they both leaned the same way and bumped faced and the class started saying they kissed. Ask my son what that teacher did about it and he said the teacher made him sit in front of the class for the rest of the day and had all the kids stare at him! I was livid!!! I pulled him out after that. Haven't had a problem since and he is 10 now. Like I said, there will always be people like that, it's just ignorance.

 

[fitmommy]

@meishka, I am so sorry you and your son had to go through that. I would have been livid myself.

 

[rubberducky88]

I know this is a really old thread and i'm straight, but I really wanted to comment!

My brother is gay and him and his partner after a long process lasting over a year have finally been accepted for adoption!

My niece and nephew have questioned it once before and were quite satisfied with the answer 'because they love each other' and haven't questioned it again!
My niece even has said that she wants to marry her best friend Georgia hehe so sweet!

I think kids are very accepting, it gets harder as they get into teen years. My own mum was afraid to tell me my brother was gay as she was worried i'd get bullied at school - she should have realised I went to an all girls school and all my friends thought it was seriously cool I had a gay brother and wanted him as their best friend! lol.

Just base your explanation on love and that's the best way to put it xxx

 

[2mumsttc]

Hi,

I have 2 children from a previous relationship. When I got with my partner they were so young that they cant remember life before her. It actually took us several months to decide to commit to eachother (it is the 1st same sex relationship for us both) as we wanted to make sure that it would be the right thing for the kids. They are now 6 and 4 and have grown into very lovely, understanding children!

We get the odd question from them but generally speaking...to them this is just normal. Our eldest is a boy and I thought that he would have been bringing questions home from school (as he is already talking about being "sexy" and boobs). But school is very understanding and they are just as prepared for it as us Where we live though...there are NO other SSPs...it is very un-known and we are the only ones in their new school from what I know so far.

The only problem we get is similar to some one else that has replied to this....my ex plants nasty seeds in their heads! But our kids love to tell him that he is wrong The biggest thing that helped our cause there is that I split up from my ex after 6 years of abuse of every level possible. My kids, esp the eldest, heard and saw a lot of what happened. So to them...2 mums are far better than living with him

They do struggle to get their heads around 2 dads though, we dont have contact with any such families but the puzzlement came up when we were talking about a dog with 2 daddies...which lead onto the subject of kids with 2 dads.

The best thing is to teach your children about values, love and equality. I guess it would also help to have a network of other similar families, but we actually dont know any other SSPs...which is something i want to change at some point so that when they have issues they can turn to someone else who knows exactly how that feels.

What would also be great is to have some books with SSPs in it...but not being specifically about that subject. I have noticed any SSP books are focused on that subject, but would be nice to have a book about going swimming, or birthday parties, going to the seaside...etc but the parents just happen to be SSP...because it is normal. Would also be great to see more same sex couples on the tv before the watershed...so the kids can see that we are a normal part of society!

Hope that helps!!! Jenni

 

[sj22]

Hi, I don't have any experience directly but am a teacher and for the last year have taught a 5 year old boy with as he says 'two daddys'. He is an extremely well adjusted child and talks very openly about his family situation. He knows he has a birth mum but that he now has two daddys who love him more than anything and that they also love each other. When it was mother's day he simple said 'well I will make one for daddy'. I think because he is so open with information all the other children and parents have just been supportive and the child / parents are treated exactly the same as everyone else. His parents definitely haven't hidden anything from him and the child knows that families all look different; some have two dads like him but others might also have a mum and two dads (step-dad), or two mums, or just one mum etc.

Good luck x

 

[tamzy]

Hi there to All

Such a great topic, something that myself and Fiance couldn't figure out, what we would tell our little one, one day... We are still wtt, I have seen ssc with their kids, you know you get a lot of people who stare, talk under their breath, Yes, we all have our own opinions, but negativeness is so uncool... So this is also very helpful to me and fiance and all of us on here who have kids, thumbs up guys... we can all be parents in different ways...

 

[tamzy]

Fit mommy- I know how you feel,there will always be people like that. When my son was in kindergarten I had him going to private school and had to actually pull him out because a parent was complaining that my child shouldn't be able to attend since he had gay parents! Then his teacher tried to say that my son was trying to kiss a boy in his class. He was only 5yrs old! When I asked my son he said that he didn't try to kiss anyone, and didn't know what he was in trouble for. He said him and another kid were playing a game where they were pretending to switch heads, lol, kids games, they would put their chins on each others shoulder and when they pulled back they would pretend that they had switched heads. Well I guess they both leaned the same way and bumped faced and the class started saying they kissed. Ask my son what that teacher did about it and he said the teacher made him sit in front of the class for the rest of the day and had all the kids stare at him! I was livid!!! I pulled him out after that. Haven't had a problem since and he is 10 now. Like I said, there will always be people like that, it's just ignorance.

I would of being really angry, he is a child irrespective of gay parents or not, They are all God's children... some people really are ignorant, I'm glad you took him out the school.

 

[MummyPony]

Thank you for this thread really interesting!

Can you recommend some SSP books, I can't seem to find any!

 

[KelleyNJen]

Thank you for this thread really interesting!

Can you recommend some SSP books, I can't seem to find any!

There are several. There is the classic "Heather has Two Mommys" there is also the one DW bought when we were TTC called "Mommy, Mama and Me". There are several others "what would you doff your dad was gay?" for older kids. "love makes a family" is a great book. There are plenty out there now. Check out this website https://rainbowsauce.com/glbtfic/glbtkids.html Or this one https://www.parentbooks.ca/Gay_&_Lesbian_Parenting.html

 

[MummyPony]

Thank you

 

[chairhugger]

Our baby is still in my partner's tummy, but kids are wonderful in understanding people, so I wouldn't worry.

From the beginning, our baby will know that we have a loving relationship, just like how our straight friends are. I will tell him or her that sometimes a man and a woman love each other, sometimes 2 men love each other, sometimes 2 women love each other and it's all ok. (Will leave the explanation of more complex family structures till the child is older, lol.)