How did you prepare your LO for surgery?

[Zephram]

Anyone out there whose child has had surgery, how did you prepare them for it?

DS1 has been being investigated for a head tilt for more than a year and the doctors have swung between saying it's related to torticollis when he was a baby to finally coming to agreeing it's an issue with one of his eyes. We've had him cleared by an orthopaedic surgeon as to any neck issues, he's got full range of motion there and has had some physio to strengthen it up (all great news), and have just come back from another appointment with the eye surgeon who has said he needs to have surgery on his right eye as he is having trouble looking up and down due to an eye muscle imbalance. So he's tilting his head to make up for his eye not being able to look that way on its own. They are going to weaken the strong muscle through surgery so that it stops overpowering the weaker muscle, they say it will probably make an immediate difference to his head tilt though it could take 3-6 months to fully adjust.

The operation itself is pretty simple, it's only 30 minutes. It's day surgery, he doesn't have to stay over night in the hospital at all. The doctor said putting him under general anaesthetic is actually a bigger deal than the actual operation. She also said kids handle it well and often better than adults. Plus my brother and my OH have had eye surgery in the last couple of years so we know what to expect largely. I just don't know how to prepare my LO for it!! I kind of blanked out in the appointment and didn't ask, and obviously as a concerned mum I am worried about my LO being scared or in pain. How are you supposed to explain surgery to a 4 year old? And how soon before the operation should I prepare him? He's not having the surgery until mid-January, so I don't think there's any point talking to him about it much now as I don't want him to worry (if he's going to) about it much in advance. I'm pretty good at framing things positively, I just don't know how to do it! I know I should ask the doctor what they usually say to young kids about it, but I also want some info from other parents who've been there before.

DS1 is slightly worried about injections at the moment as he had his preschool boosters a month ago when he turned 4 and every time we go to an appointment now he asks if he's going to get 'pinched'. So I think getting a line put in will be the worst thing for him. How do you frame all this so that a young kid doesn't worry about it? I want him to be prepared in that he knows what to expect, but not to feel scared or worried about it.

I thought of getting him an awesome present to open when he wakes up from the surgery too so that he has something to look forward to - anything else I can do?

 

[AngelUK]

Oh hun, no idea what to suggest but I wanted to send you at this scary time. Even if it is day surgery, it must be so worrying for you. Lots of strength and courage!

 

[Zephram]

Thank you! Yeah, I am sure I will be much more worried than he will, arghh!!

The funny thing is, I actually had surgery myself when I was 4 (hernia operation) but I can't remember anything about preparing for it. It was different in that I had a hernia lump that was a bit painful, so it was pretty obvious what was going to be fixed, whereas with his eyes he is not in any pain or discomfort currently (apart from possibly having a tired neck sometimes), so it's not like a " we will fix this and you'll feel better" situation. It does need to be fixed though as the head tilt will cause neck problems/posture problems and also facial asymmetry as he becomes an adult if he's not sorted out while he's young.

I remember being in the hospital and having a tour of the ward and then some of my recovery (I stayed in hospital for a few days), but I don't recall anything that my parents said to me about it. I do know that I wasn't scared though, I think I didn't really have a high level understanding of it (obviously, being 4) and I don't remember anything about having a line put in or being put to sleep or waking up, etc. I should ask my mum how they explained it to me, but I figure she'll say she doesn't remember as she always says that when I ask about her parenting experience when I was little!

 

[AngelUK]

I had a hernia op too but I wasn't quite 4 yet. I don't remember much about the lead up, just waiting to go in and then being surprised that they wanted to strip me and fighting like a wild thing, so that it took 3 of them to get it done lol. I am wondering if either my mum didn't make it understood what was going to happen or she thought best not to say anything to prevent me acting up? No idea. I remember a few things from later, after waking and they are not such good memories. I am happy your son won't have to stay in. Good luck to you both!

 

[_Meep_]

I also had a hernia operation as a small child (3, maybe 4?) - they gave me a 'special drink' thing as I recall which was some sort of sedative before they put me under. Don't they do that any more? Or use gas? Though I suppose having a mask put on would be terrifying too.

Apparently I smacked a doctor when I woke up and vomited the first time I ate anything, both of which I vaguely remember, but I don't recall anything at all horrific about the experience except everyone else in my family getting a takeaway pizza beforehand and not being allowed any because I was going under anaesthetic! The criminals!

 

[sequeena]

Thanks for making this thread. My son was 15 weeks then 2 years old when he had operations so we never explained what was happening. He's due to have more surgery (grommets) but he's 5 now. He is disabled so I know he won't understand what we are saying to him and it's going to be so traumatic. Good luck with your sons surgery I hope it goes well x

 

[Eleanor ace]

DD1 had a small surgery last week (grommets, she was under for about 20 minutes). We didn't have a lot of time to prepare her for it as we only got the call a few days before, but we went for a pre-op at the hospital on the Friday (op was on Monday) and the nurse there was lovely and went through a photo book explaining what Violet would experience step by step (from arriving on the ward through to which door she'd leave through to go home). That was really good, although DD did have a big meltdown after the surgery because there were slippers in one of the pictures and we forgot her slippers .
The nurse also did some role play with DD (she's 3.5) where she put magic (numbing) cream on a teddy, took its temperature and blood pressure etc and explained that DD would have those done when she came in for her op.
When we got home we did some doctor role play, DD gave me injections in my hand and I pretended to be confused because I couldn't feel it as she'd put the numbing cream on. We referred to elements of the procedure as things she likes, so the grommets became magic tubes, the general became a princess sleep etc. That helped her too. It went well.

DD had a similar procedure a couple of months ago and it didn't go so well, there wasn't time to prepare really (it was removal of a foreign body) so I think that preparing and reinforcing that it is all OK and a positive thing really helps.

 

[CaptainMummy]

a few months ago my dd2 went into surgery twice in 2 days. There wasn't really any time to prepare the first time (it was after she was bitten by a dog) but she took it like a champ. The doctor came and put numbing cream on her and told her that she would go to sleep and then wake up and her hand would have a bandage because it was getting all better. She is a complete people pleaser, though, so just continued to charm and flirt with him and the anaesthetist once we went to theatre. She didn't even flinch when the cannula was put in (the cream had been on for ages so she was well and truly numb) and then they told her it was a little butterfly who needed a drink, and so they gave it some 'milk' (the medicine to put her under was white) and she was out in seconds.
She was in for about 1.5hrs the first time and when she woke up she was a ravenous beast! She wasn't phased at all.

The second time, I just told her they would give the butterfly some more milk (she still had her cannula in) and she was happy to go back to theatre and didn't kick up a fuss. When she woke, I was at the shop and apparently she just sat up and started chatting away to the family beside us.

I got her a couple of magazines for afterwards and she was happy as larry. They are still so young that I don't think they are phased much at all.

Oh they also didn't make her wear any particular clothing, just went in her normal stuff. She did have to take her nail varnish off though!

 

[happynewmom1]

Our daughter had to have surgery to remove a cyst from her arm. She had just turned 4. We explained to her she would go to sleep, they would take the bump away and she would wake up and we would be there. Which we were she was such a champ about it.. She was pretty out of it after though. Slept a lot and wasn't allowed to eat regular food for awhile. The next morning she was supposed to take it easy but was her usual, hyper self lol try to relax yourself because if I was worried she was but if I relaxed about it around her then she was OK. I definitely worried more than she did but I tried not to show it around her. Good luck! These things with our kids can be so scary!

 

[ClairAye]

My son has been in theatre 4 times (though the first two he was 5 weeks and 2 years so couldn't really explain it) the last two times he was 3.5 and just turned 4, Usborne have a great wee sticker book called 'Going to the Hospital' about a little boy who goes to get an operation on his ear (I changed it to suit my son's situation, though). My son has been under hospital care since 4 weeks old and known his doctor since 3 months old so this helped a lot, I was able to explain that we were going back to the hospital and his doctor wanted xyz done. I tell him about a month before just saying we need to go there but not mentioning he is going to theatre until 2/3 days beforehand. Last time he got his book and we started reading it a couple of weeks before then a couple of days before theatre I started reading it and telling him that he was going in to get this done in a couple of days. From the book he knew he was going to get the 'sleepy gas' and before he went in I told him he'd come out with tubes in his belly (he had suprapubic cathaters put in) and they were going to help with the test he was down for. Sure enough, he woke up and was surprisingly very entertained by them lol, he still has faint scarring and says he has 3 belly buttons now. I think telling them aboit going to sleep and the outcome is important, so they don't wake up too surprised by anything. I don't tell my son what goes on during, though.

I also think at this age a pre-med is good to ask for. My son had it when he was 2 and 3.5 and it was just great because he was like a little drunk haha, he was really chilled and honestly quite funny. He also didn't mind having the mask on to knock him out. However, he didn't get the pre-med when he was in a few months ago (4) and he hated having the mask on, even after it had flavoured chapstick put on it to help it smell nice and we ended up in a struggle where they just put him to sleep via his cannula. It was great when he was 3.5 too as he had no idea what was going on after he got it.

As for getting a cannula they use numbing 'magic cream' which helps a lot! I have my son reading a book or watching his tablet when they do it so he's not really aware they are doing it.

Sorry, I ramble and don't make a lot of sense haha I hope some of this information helps!

 

[charliebear]

My DD had surgery for grommets at the end of August.
We found being open and honest with her worked. She knew the Dr was going to fix her ears. She would have a special sleep and when she woke up the would be better.
Like a pp said, we had a pre op where we met a nurse and went through some questions, health issues etc and read a book all about what would happen.

Good luck. x