How did you tell everyone this time round ?

[Mrs Doddy]

When I was pregant last year (which resulted in a mmc) I told everyone I could in person at 9 weeks - arranged nights out, family meals ect I was soooo excited and didn't want to tell people over the phone- seemed impersonal.

This time everything feels different, like I can't be too excited because of my previous loss, I have only told a handful of people this time most of them being work and will not tell anyone else till after my 12 week scan/when I feel ready

Did you do things differently second time round ???

 

[Las78]

I did too, only told 3 people till I got to 14 weeks. I started to show then so mentioned it to a few others, most people esp at work heard through those few that did know. I didn't talk about it at all until I was over 20 weeks and if people asked when I was due I just said "May" and nothing else, almost like saying anything might jinx me!

 

[lauraperrysan]

i think it is very different after loss in terms for when to tell and being excited.
we told quite a few friends before we lost our first, after that we didn't tell anyone, there are only 3 people who know we've lost 5 babies, me oh and my best friend....oh 4 and oh's mum.
so this time we told people at 12 weeks everyone was really excited but we wern't, we want to be it's just hard to allow yourself to get too excited xxx

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Not sure when I'm going to feel excited about it this time, 12 weeks doesn't feel like a major milestone, the 20 week scan feels safer- i obviously will announce it before then but I don't want to make a big deal out of it like I did before. I'm really sad about this, maybe I will feel differently about things after my 12 week scan and things seem to be ok then.

 

[Hoolie]

I did do things differently but not consciously.

With my MMC pregnancy, I as just so excited and thrilled, everyone knew early on. This time around I have told people but not in the same excited way, in a more low key kinda way. That has meant that people have naturally not told others as it seems when you are excited, everyone gets excited with you and the news spreads quickly. This time, I'm now nearly 23 weeks pregnant and at work I am still surprised to find quite a number of people haven't heard until I mention it.

Friends that I see or have contact with regularly know becasue I've told them but for those who I'd have to contact specifically to tell them, I haven't told them.

Alex

 

[Lazy Leo]

I was almost completely the opposite. We hadn't told anyone I was pregnant and when I miscarried it was awful then telling my mum when she didn't know in the first place. When I fell pregnant again, I told her at about 6 weeks and a couple of really close friends at 8-9 weeks knowing how much I would need support if history repeated. Thankfully it didn't, and I'm sure everything will work out just fine for you this time too. Unfortunately after m/c our innocence is taken from us and its never quite the same again

 

[Bingo]

Everything is different this time around, the excitement and innocence is lost. We've decided not to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan.

I've just been for a wee and there was a little bright red blood on the tissue so I am feeling a bit worried. I haven't had any bleeding this time around, just a couple of tiny shows of brown blood and now this, just as I was starting to feel really quite positive about this pregnancy.

If we get the ok at the 12 week scan which I will hopefully have around the 17th of March (I'm seeing my GP tomorrow and will hopefully make that appointment) then I'm not sure I'll want to tell people because I know how many people have lost their pregnancies so much later.

We only told immediate family and one friend each last time when we found out but this time I go through phases of wanting to tell people and not wanting to say anything at all until it's obvious i.e. when I have a noticable bump.

Sorry, I have just thread crapped.

 

[chachadada]

it feels very different this time, me and oh agreed not to tell any1 till i had my nt scan, then i told my mum and he told his bro, my so called b mate guessed and i still don't want to tell any1 until i am 20weeks if i can hide it that long, just feels better this way

 

[JASMAK]

I have lost three, and yes I did do it differently. I told immediate family and my best friend. Then no one until I had my u/s. After that, I announced to close friends and then posted a facebook message. I really couldn't keep it secret too long because I had (and still do have) bad morning sickness.

 

[Sparklestar]

when i found out about my last pregnancy, my parents told everyone lol so it wasnt a secret ever. this time around, no-one has told anyone but as i'm no longeer smoking and being sick all the time, even in tesco's (ewww). people have guessed xxx

 

[Wants2bmummy]

Me and hubby decided just to tell my mum, dad and sister and his mum, dad and nanna. We've found out that as soon as we told his mum and nan (this afternoon) they phoned his aunty who has already told his cousin!!! They know that I miscarried in Dec and how hard is was for me cos everyone knew and now this! I've spent the whole night crying. His cousin has mutual friends with us so if she says anything, then thats it, everyone will know. It makes its worse because its his family and I feel that I can't really be rude to his mum or nan, but I just don't even want to look at them. I don't know what to do.

 

[Bingo]

Me and hubby decided just to tell my mum, dad and sister and his mum, dad and nanna. We've found out that as soon as we told his mum and nan (this afternoon) they phoned his aunty who has already told his cousin!!! They know that I miscarried in Dec and how hard is was for me cos everyone knew and now this! I've spent the whole night crying. His cousin has mutual friends with us so if she says anything, then thats it, everyone will know. It makes its worse because its his family and I feel that I can't really be rude to his mum or nan, but I just don't even want to look at them. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry that family have betrayed your trust. This is exactly why we've decided to wait until the 12 week scan this time around. My mother anounced it to people last time around after I had told her not to tell anyone because it was so early. It wasn't too bad for me because she is overseas and has no contact with my friends. If someone told me they were pregnant and to keep the news to myself I would have done even before having had a pregnancy and miscarriage myself. Big to you.

 

[banana1975]

I never told anyone until after the first trimester with my first two, so this time will be no different. After losing my son though to a birth defect at 7 weeks old, I am trying my darndest to hide this until after the 20 week u/s to make sure that the baby is healty. The innocence and excitement is lost on my until then...I just take good care of myself and carry on like normal....

 

[Mrs Doddy]

huge hugs to everyone xx

 

[anie]

At the moment only myself and OH know.

We both only have our mums (my OHs father passed away a few years ago, and mine left when I was 4), and we're both very protective of them, even though they often drive us nuts. So we will tell them when we saw our baby's heart, and then tell other friends and family as we see fit and when we feel comfortable.

Last time I told a close friend of mine, and she was rubbish when I lost it, basically ignoring me and the whole thing, so I am not keen on sharing the news with anyone again so early.

 

[sazza]

This is a good thread. So far, only OH and the girl I work with knows that I am pg. I don't think we will be telling people after the twelve week scan, I think I may be around 5 months before I will be comfortable telling people. Saying that, they may well have guessed by then anyway?!! x x

 

[littledemonme]

Firast time we were 'lucky' in that we had only told our parents, Mum is very supersticious and had said not to say anything till 2nd Tri - lost little one at 12 weeks.
This time I told my mum straight away as I was a wreck and needed her support, OH decided to tell parents after 8 weeks as stats seemed good to him. We didn't tell anyone else till after Nuchal at 13+4.
Mrs Doddy - please feel excited about it and about telling people - they'll be thrilled for you. The statistics of going full term if you have a heartbeat at 12 weeks are fantastic. I have spent this whole pregnancy in denial - I'm now the size of a small house and baby less than 5 weeks till EDD and I still only have some presents and a moses basket (left in packaging in case it has to go back) in the house. I really regret being so detatched from this pregnancy.