how do i approach (more advice sorry)

[Mumtobe1985]

my OH mother left his father 8 years ago for basically another man but for some reason i think reading between the lines there was more to it than just he running off with another man!!

we have been discussing the christening and my OH's father is making him chose if she goes he isnt coming which i think is a little bit childish since he is prepared for her family to be there but my OH has explained he cant invite her family and not his own mother!!

so my OH has told his mother there is gonna be no christening which i told him he could say as long as if he got found out it was to be full knowledge i didnt have anything to do with the decision, he agreed but i have later found out he told her its because my family are Catholics and i dont want to christen our baby catholic!!! which is totaly untrue as its only my dad who is catholic and hasnt even said a word!

as the time has went on his mother has paid most of our baby plan off and bought the baby loads of stuff where as his dad has literally bought nothing, not even a pack of vests and is planning to buy nothing as said he cant afford to which is fair enough as i am not greedy but also on the other hand we have known since being 5 weeks pregnant and he has had plenty time to save up a little something.

his mother asked the other day if it was a money issue for teh christening and that her and her partner would pay for it as she would personally like our baby christened, now how do i approach my OH and tell him i have changed my mind i dont think he should disregard his mother like that when she is the one out of both of them helping us out the most???

any advice would be appreciated xx

 

[Ice Cold Cube]

Oh dear - that sounds like a potentially very awful situation to be honest.

If your OH's mother is the one taking an interest in the baby, and his father is not, it seems very unfair that his mother is being deliberately excluded from something as special as her grandchild's christening. She would feel so hurt if she found out, and I think you can be pretty sure that she will at some point.

You say that there could be more to their break up than meets the eye, but that is in the past and really doesn't have anything to do with the new baby so I wouldn't let that concern you at all.

If I were you I'd sit your OH down and go over things because it doesn't seem fair at all, and could lead to a huge family divide if not handled carefully. You could potentially loose a really great grandmother for your baby - and I'm guessing you don't want to risk that.

I hope you can get it sorted.

Laura x

 

[MrsNovBaby]

Hope you get it sorted - some family situations are a timebomb. I don't know what advice to offer and I don't know what I would do in that situation xx