how do i cope

[spicyorange]

just got invited to a friends baby shower - went to her birthday party last week and me and DH were litterally the only people without at least 1 kid - half of them had a toddler and were heavily preg. and now i get invited to her baby shower (baby due in december) - thing is im not sure i can take it - 1) all those babys, all that baby stuff and 2) all that ..so itl be you next, when are you having one etc etc... i just want to scream.

this is another couple who got married over a year after us, one of my other mates is due to pop her second any day now - they got married 3 weeks before us and she has 2 - i dont even have 1. DH keeps saying 'its not a competition' - i know its not but fighting the green eyed monster is hard knowing it will be probably be another year before we can ttc. Been married 3 1/2 years now and i think people are starting to look at us with that slightly sympathetic look where they think we are having problems... - i seriously need to win the lottery - theres this big fat credit card bill between us and baby... it goes down every month but its still going to be liely jan 2015 before we are in position to TTC.

anyone any tips on how to handle partys and especially this baby shower without bursting into tears? (which incidently tacky American excuse for people to buy you gifts which i object to nearly as much as engagement parties!)

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I feel ur pain. My sil is just about to give birth to her third. This is the only one planned. It always feels unfair, Iv always wanted kids but ppl who don't even try get pregnant.

Our time will come soon enough xx

 

[MissN8]

I am feeling the same as you, will likely have one to go to in December for a friend and will be difficult but has to be done I guess. it seems a new craze over here now its difficult trying to avoid these sorts of things only thing I can say is someday it will be your turn and you will want your friends there for you when the time comes. *hard I know* your hubby is right though it isn't a competition and you have to do whats right for you at the right time then you wont regret rushing into things. so many ppl ask me when we are having one and I just think its so rude and such a personal question I have learnt to just ignore these questions as its no one elses business. hope you don't have a too hard time waiting, try and focus on something while you are waiting perhaps decorating the house or doing one thing each month to feel like you are getting towards your target im here to chat

 

[Eline]

Try to steal small items and sell them to pay off your debt.

Just kidding. But I know these parties are difficult and I don't have any good advise to give to you, except what my older colleague (she's 50) told me:
'I hate baby showers, because for me it's all in the past and I know I'll never be pregnant again or hold my own little baby. For you, it's all in the future.'
That's true. We still get to look forward to it and the long wait will make us appreciate it even more.