How do i get my mojo back with my hubby?

[sera]

Hey Ladies,
A lil bit of a personel topic, but how do i get my mojo back with hubby? It has been 10 weeks since i gave birth, quite a traumatic one at that, had a episiotomy, which is still abit sore.. and i just plain out dont feel like it!

My hubby is a wonderful man and a fantastic daddy! I love him very much and would love to show him how apppreciative i am and also just to get my sex life back on track, but i just cant get in the mood.
We have tried twice to do the buisness, and both times it hurt so therefor didnt last long, then i thought i would help him along abit *tmi sorry* but my "milk comes in" and then im totally out of the mood. My husband is very patient and understanding.. But i cant help but feel bad... ( I also lost my libido during the pregnancy... poor hubby)
Anyway i just feel wretched, Altho hubby said its fine and we will work at it, i feel kinda bad that he is being so nice about it, lol...

What can i do to get my libido up and my sex life back?

thanks for reading if you have!
xoxo

 

[Miss Wright]

Don't really have any practical advice but just wanted to say he sounds lovely! Good luck xx

 

[cazza1982]

Personally, my sex life isn't quite back to normal yet and it's been 6 months!

There are so many contributing factors that for me, just make me want to go straight to sleep when I do get into bed! Looking after LO all day long, tiredness, me still having not shifted pre-pregnancy weight etc all seem to factor in me just not wanting to do it much!

We asked my parents to look after the little guy one evening and then 'had an early night'! Maybe you could do something similar and perhaps go out on a date? If you have had time to get all dressed up and you have some one on one time with hubby over dinner, then you can come home and go to bed and your mojo should come back in no time!

Good luck!

xx

 

[sera]

hahaha thanks miss wright, yes he is lovely, i am very blessed... If i had a sex life i wouldnt have much to complain about. hahaha

 

[Babybug]

Hi, am in the same situation, 13 weeks and counting LOL.
Are you breast feeding, apparantly that can have a big effect on your libido, am hoping that is what effects mine because I just cant get in the mood, not ready to stop BF yet though so will just have to wait.
Your OH sounds loveley, like mine but I just cant help thinking he must be getting fed up waiting.

 

[MrsQ]

dont have any advice but i am exactly the same. We havent even tried it tho. I am so scared of getting pregnant again and my c section scar ripping open! its got to the point now were we dont even bother!
x

 

[sera]

hey cazza, i did get my mom to look after river for a few hours, so hubby and i could spend some time together... we had a drink to relax (me) lol and it felt like the first time... IT HURT! so ddnt last... then we tried yesterday... after trying 3 positions (lol) it still hurt... and i was just trying to concentrate on the "sex" where he was trying to "make love" and then my milk came in and it all went to s**t

 

[mrs_rj]

aww bless you hun - i know how yoou feel as i had an episiotomy too and the first time we tried DTD after 4 weeks it hurt too much and he couldn't even get in! Tried again at 6 weeks and it was uncomfortable but it is getting better. Like you said it feels like losing viriginity again! Very wierd.

If it really does hurt that much, it may be worth paying the doc a visit and letting them have a look? Your scar may be restricting things and i think they can do something to help if this is the case.

your hubby sounds brilliant - it will get better hun, it just takes time and with an episiotomy things will feel very tender down there for quite a while xxx

 

[Buffy71]

Aw Hun. No advice (we haven't done it yet - H is three months now and like you I went right off it while preggers. In fact we haven't done it in a year and two days - the day she was conceived) but well done for trying even though it hurt. Maybe just do "other stuff" for a while until you know it's healed completely as when you're anxious it might hurt you can tense up and hurt more.

Big hugs to you gorgeous lady. Xxx

 

[lozenge]

Hi hun

It seems to be quite a common thing unfortunately. We DTD about 3.5 weeks after LO was born and although it was sore it has been fine since, BUT, I don't seem to have anywhere near the sex drive I had before and it is nearly 6 months now. I used to really crave my OH etc and get really turned on (sorry TMI) during foreplay, but not really anymore I'm not even that tired anymore so it must be a hormonal thing. I went straight back on the pill 3 weeks after giving birth so maybe that had something to do with it.

It will get better soreness wise, definitely, you will find it comes back in time. Your hubby sounds lovely! x

 

[dani_tinks]

Aw he sounds a real gem
I had a nasty labour and was in recovery for quite a while.
I was sooo scared to have sex again, I had a few glasses of wine and we went to bed just with the intention of ''snuggling, and seeing what happens'' and that did the trick, I couldnt keep my hands off him
Just take it steady, you'll get there. It is like being a virgin all over again though I know, that's how I felt too
x

 

[sera]

I went to the docs and she said everything was fine.. no prolapse or anything so i am in the clear there.. i EVEN went to the docs to see if ther was anything i could take like a vitamin that would help me get my libido back.. nope. I know that if we keep at it it will eventually stop hurting.. its just i dont have hte drive.. i thought even after a couple of drinks it might put me in the "sexy" mod and i might want to jump on him but nope.. i wanted to jump into bed! lol
I WANT TO WANT MY HUSBAND!!! this is so annoying! i can do anything i pu my mind to generally.. if i feel fat i excersise, if i dont feel sexy i put a nice outfit on and try.. how the hell do i make myself feel horny? lol
this is too hard! lol