How do I help my 5 year old?

[MrsT&Ben]

His daddy and I split up 4 months ago. He moved out at the end of October.
I don't think he's dealing with it very well.
I try talking to him but I don't think I'm saying the right things.
There is no way we are getting back together.
How can I help him?

 

[MrsNich]

Aww so sorry you are going through this. Sending you big hugs it must be difficult. I have no experience sorry. But just wondered if there was anybody else who could talk to him, your parents? He might find it easier to talk to them, without upsetting you?
This age is also very difficult, they are just finding their emotions etc and still find it hard to express.

Good luck x

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Aww so sorry you are going through this. Sending you big hugs it must be difficult. I have no experience sorry. But just wondered if there was anybody else who could talk to him, your parents? He might find it easier to talk to them, without upsetting you?
This age is also very difficult, they are just finding their emotions etc and still find it hard to express.

Good luck x

Thanks for your reply.
I've asked my mum to talk to him but she's too closely involved. So I don't think he'd talk to her properly.
I don't know who to ask. All my exs family live far away from us and won't speak to me so I can't ask them. Plus I can't imagine them doing it fairly.
God this is a mess.

 

[Rags]

I don't have experience of this myself - I'm a single parent by choice - but a very close friend of mine is going through it at the moment. She too has a 5 year old and it's been a very difficult 3 years for the whole family with 2 lots of major surgery for the daughter and two grandparents deaths over two Christmas's. My friend has spent a lot of time trying to keep life normal as much as possible, despite het daugherts understandable tantrums and mood swings. At the beginning I know that she tried explaining everything that was happening but this didn't seen to be helpful. Over the past 6 months she has instead taken to only talking about things when her daughter raises the subject, things have really settled down now. My friend never says anything negative about her ex when her daughter is around and she has gone out of her way to make him feel comfortable whenever he comes over despite her feelings.
If you want to approach the subject there are some very good children's books available these days which touch on the differing make up of families in a really normal way.

Good luck.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

I'd say books are a good way too. Also if you want your LO to be able to 'chat' to someone neutral an family aren't helping them may be he can talk to the school nurse? They're quite understanding an good at listening but you'd have to obviously speak with teacher/nurse first. I wish you all the best x