How do I make peace with this?

[Linny]

Just a bit of background...My DD2 was born at 37+4 via c section due to IUGR and being breech weighing a teeny 4lb 10oz. It's been a difficult and stressful pregnancy but didn't realise we would have any issues with growth till a scan at 36 showed her growth had tailed off.

We had a 6 day hospital stay in which we tried lots of skin to skin with hand expressing and formula cup feeding but not once did she latch on. She was losing weight so I asked them to try a teat on day three while I was still trying to get my milk to come in by expressing. By day four my milk was coming in nicely and I managed to give her 100% breast milk but through a bottle. She's 17 days old today and I'm still pumping her feeds as she still isn't latching on. When the docs examined her they found her to have a small mouth and chin and an overbite. This I think is the reason she can't latch. She tries to open her mouth but even at the widest she only gets the tip of the nipple in and gets so frustrated, it's just upsetting for us both.

I guess I'm just having a pity party for myself but I just feel like my pregnancy was crap due to being diagnosed with GD, then the IUGR was picked up, then as she was breech I had to have a section and now I can't even breast feed her! I know I'm lucky to have a good milk supply, but I'm terrified my milk will dry up. I have a 3 year old also so pumping can sometimes be tricky to fit in as often as I would like. Just wanted to get it all out really!!

 

[Cyan]

Oh sweetheart, you've had a rough ride. I think you're perfectly entitled to have a bit of a pity party, it sounds like things have been really tough.

I haven't got any good advice on pumping I'm afraid but I can say this with absolute certainty - you're doing great. You're a wonderful mummy who is giving that lovely little bundle the very best start in life despite all the hurdles. You should feel very, very proud of yourself.

You know that phrase - this too shall pass? Keep that in mind. Yes things are tough, no it's not worked out as you'd hoped, but it won't be like this forever. One day this will all be a distant memory. Be kind to yourself, get some treats in and take it as easy as you can for a couple of days

 

[gumb69]

You are doing super xx

 

[Linny]

Thank you both for your kind words x x

 

[misspriss]

You are doing awesome. There is a sticky of exclusively pumping ladies at the top of this forum, you can probably find some good advice there

 

[Mummafrog]

Oh bless you, I can't even imagine how difficult that would be.. you are a super woman doing the absolute best you can for your child with the cards you have been dealt and you should be patting yourself on the back Wishing you loads of luck settling into a routine with it all. Don't forget to find joy in watching your precious baby feeding on your wonderful milk, no matter what container it is in!

 

[Linny]

Thank you again. I think my pity party is over and I need to focus on how lucky I am to be a mama again and not on all the things that didn't go my way or I can't do.

I went private and saw a breast feeding consultant who tried to help us find a position that might help the latch. The good news is she is now trying to suckle and going towards the nipple but her mouth is still much too small at the minute. In time she may grow enough for that not to be the case. I'm happy I've explored every avenue so I will just continue on with what I'm doing and see where it takes us 😀 x x

 

[Cyan]

That's the spirit! Glad you're feeling better and wonderful news your clever girl is having a go at suckling, well done the pair of you!

 

[CupcakeBaby]

Just read your latest post.

I was going to say you may need to wait until she's bigger. My DD had a terrible latch for a few weeks (and she was 7lb when born) but once her mouth grew a bit it got easier.

So for a teeny tiny one it could understandably be difficult.

You're doing awesome momma. Xxx

 

[luna_19]

Hang in there! My lo was born at 37+3 and weighed 5lbs 7oz, he did not latch until he was 2 weeks old. we just kept at it offering every feed for about 20 minutes then I would pump and bottle feed then one day he got it and we never looked back

 

[MoBaby]

Hang in there! Keep pumping as much as you can for her and have her at the breast often to practice. She will be able to open up more and nurse better in a couple weeks as her palate drops and her mouth changes. My LO had some similar issues and unfortunately we didnt notice until too late. He nursed but wasn't suckling effectively to stimulate me to produce a bigger supply so we started supplementing at 10 weeks. He gets 1/2 BM that I've expressed b/c once he started getting bottle he started trying to suck me like a bottle which obviously doesnt work you are doing a great job and no matter which direction you have to go its okay! Exclusively pumping is hard! I'm down to 4 times per day not by choice (with me back at work finding time to pump 3 times is impossible so I can only do it once while there; I'd like to be doing 6 total)..I couldn't imagine doing it with a NB and a toddler! That would be super hard! Great job