How do I stop bf at 14 months?

[Cat lady]

Hi all,
Thomas is still breastfeeding, not alot but nurses to sleep and a couple of times during the night. He has cows milk in a beaker during the day. He can almost self-settle during the day but is fed to sleep at night.

I have had mastitis 4 times in the last couple of months as we have slowly been reducing, but it makes me so ill, I get horrific flu like symptoms and vomit for hours on end! I am now ready to give up breastfeeding altogether, I am pretty sure it is the only reason Thomas still wakes during the night for a comfort suckle. Now he has got all his teeth there is no other reason to wake!!!

So how do I stop? Do I just STOP?? Or just try and stop feeding him at night initially but feed him to sleep and then give that up? How do I do it?

The reason it is here and not in the baby breastfeeding section is because I wont get any answers in that section.

Please help me ladies!
xxx

 

[RachA]

If it was me i'd just stop during the night but carry on for a little while with the one that gets him to sleep. Once he is ok with not having it during the night you should be ok to stop the last feed.

Make sure you 100% sure you want to stop. I stopped when my dd was 18months old - the main reason was because of the clocks changing so her last feed at night would of been midnight - as i wouldn't of gone to bed before feeding i wasn't prepared to go to bed at half midnight/1am so i decided to stop. I really wish i'd carried on with it and tried to move the feed forward. I really miss that time with dd and i know that i wasn't 100% sure about stopping.

 

[sun]

I don't have much advice on stopping BF - especially if they are BF to sleep. My son self-weaned at almost 19 months and he was 17 months before he quit waking to BF at 4:00am. That's when he ended up sleeping through. Maybe cut the BF down to just the one before bed (that's the last one my son dropped) and try and settle him to sleep if he wakes at night? Easier said than done though - as in the middle of the night when you're tired it's so much easier to just do what you know will work! Maybe he will take water or something else in place of the BM if he wakes? xx

 

[JASMAK]

I wouldn't just stop...I would cut back slowly. If you are already prone to mastitis, then the last thing you need is super full breasts. I would cut back to only at night, and then cut out the night. My older two were 19 and 20 months, and I weaned them that way. Kelana is still breastfed, but I will probably do similar, when I am ready...which is not anytime soon. lol PS, I have had mastitis too..So painful...the antibiotics help as soon as they kick in, but man oh man...that is pain!

 

[Torz]

I still BF Alfie & while i'm not wanting to stop all together i am trying to cut out the comfort suckling at night & trying to get him to learn to fall asleep by himself.

He has only ever fallen asleep at the breast for that long night feed, it can take up to an hour to get him to sleep & in the cot & while its lovely having that cuddle time i am noticing that its getting harder to get him to sleep so i'm spending more time upstairs with him. Its starting to affect mine & OH's relationship so its time to do something.

I know Alfie can self settle because during the day i place him in his buggy for a nap, push it a couple of times & then leave him awake & he goes to sleep quite quickly.

For the past couple of nights at the last feed of the night i have feed him for half an hour when i know my breast is drained of milk, he is at this point still awake so i remove him from the breast & lay him on his belly or side (his preferd sleeping positions) & pat & rub his back. The first night he resisted for quite a while but last night went quite well & he fell asleep pritty quickly.

I'm still letting him comfort suck in the night for now but i'm trying to not let him suck for too long & then do the pat rub thing. I think its hard because we still co-sleep, he know's i'm right there if he needs boob & me & my OH could be disturbing him during the night too.

I'm hoping that once he is in his own room then it may be easier.

 

[Bec L]

I am starting to try and get LO (14 months) to bed without feeding at the moment but so far it's not going so well!! I give her cow's milk but she never has much of it, and I just read to her and give her cuddles till she is sleepy. First time I tried I put her down awake and rubbed her back till she went to sleep. Only took about half an hour, brilliant!

But she woke a few hours later and where as she would usually go off in minutes with a feed, I just cuddled/rubbed her back till she finally went off. It took two hours!!!!!

I'm not that bothered about weaning her off, but was hoping that if she went off without being fed to sleep, she may not wake for comfort in the night.

I think you'll have to be extra careful with your risk of mastitis, but like the others say, do it slowly and hopefully you won't have a problem.

 

[Mummy2Asher]

Still bf here too...although we are starting to cut down. I would reduce slowly so try 2 weeks of just one night feed and then if that goes well then 2 weeks of just at bedtime?
I slowly cut down like this with ash at 12months and by 14 months he was only on a bed time feed for the last 2 weeks...although he did really cut down/self wean himself.

 

[AFC84]

Dr Jay Gordon has some gentle ways of doing it, it does talk about co-sleeping but it still applies either way

 

[Bayleaf]

Second Jay Gordon. I nightweaned Em at 22 months and as a result am enjoying the remaining feeds in the evening/morning much more.
If you're prone to getting mastitis you need to wean slowly as it gives your boobs time to adjust. Once you're down to one feed only you can then work on dropping it altogether by adjusting your bed time routine accordingly.