How do I teach my LO to self soothe?

[RedRose]

So the dreaded 4 month sleep regression started three nights ago. I'd never heard of it before, and literally the day I read about it on here her sleep has gone haywire!

I've been really lucky up to now as from about 6 weeks she has slept 8-7 with one feed around 1am. She even started to have this night feed around 5am a couple of times, which I thought might be the start of her dropping it altogether.

She has never been a good napper during the day, and I have spent weeks trying to get her to nap in her cot. Occasionally she will sleep for 30 minutes, but I ALWAYS have got her off to sleep by cuddling and rocking her, and then gently putting her down once she is asleep. If I cuddle her the whole time she will sleep for 1.5 hours.

Because she slept well at night I was reluctant to change anything, and now she is totally unable to settle herself off to sleep.

When she was about 2 months I think, there were a couple of times I put her down awake and she fell asleep by herself, but literally only twice I think.

We have a bedtime routine and she always has a massive feed for about 45 minutes and then completely zonks out. Then I put her in her cot and she sleeps really well. Because this has always worked I felt I shouldn't wake her up just to put her to bed, and so she has always been fed to sleep before bedtime.

So three nights ago, she was really making loud moany/crying noises in her sleep, and lifting her legs up and banging them on the bed, and moving her head from side to side. It was like she wanted to be asleep, but just couldn't stop moving and relax!

The last three nights have been exactly the same, and as a result she is not getting much deep sleep, and I am getting hardly any. (Don't want to complain though as I'm lucky she has slept up to now, am sooo tired though, like having a newborn again!)

This unsettled sleeping has coincided with her learning how to roll over, and she is rolling all around her cot and poking her legs out and getting stuck, turning onto her front etc. which can't be helping her settle.

I feel like I have ruined her sleep by being complacent and never teaching her to self settle. I have read a bit more about the 4 month regression now and it seems now is make or break really for teaching her to settle.

I'd like to know what you ladies have done and how you taught your babies to self soothe. I know a bit about controlled crying methods but I think I'd like to save these as a last resort and hopefully not have to use them at all. (That's not a judgement on anyone who does use them, as obviously we are all trying to do what's best for our babies and making decisions every day, I'd just rather exhaust other option first.)

Sorry for the essay! Any help, advice or tips would be very much appreciated.

 

[special_kala]

Honestly I don't understand the while self soothe business. I don't think you cam teach a baby it as the only methods I know are cc and CIO which to me is forcing q baby to 'self soothe"

Your baby is still very young and she will settle again soon. I'm afraid babies change so often it just something you need to work through until the next change.

We rocked river to sleep but gradually she stopped wanting that and now sleeps great but obv that could change again.

 

[redpoppy]

I agree that CC or CIO are really the only hard options. And at 4 months it's unfortunately one of those things you'll have to see through if you follow guidelines which state earlier than 6 months for either of those is not recommended. You could try PUPD but I'm not sure what age that works until and I would wonder if doing that during a sleep regression phase would be a wise time to start?

Best of luck! 4 month sleep regression was my toughest phase so far!

 

[pinktaffy]

i didnt do cc or cio and my baby self sooths but only at night of a day for naps she like a cuddle.
but i think we just got into a routine. are nighttime routine is we play games then sing song (dance around like mad hehe) and then its calm time and have a bottle then we chill out have as hug on the sofa and when she starts nodding off i take her to bed give her a kis close the curtens and she waits and gets excited for her musical lightshow then i pop a dummy in her mouth and give her a kiss again, and say night and walk out the room. i go back in 2 mins later and shes fast asleep.
but if she ever crys or anything im straght back in mostly its just shes droped her dummy.

we are pretty relaxed and dont have set times for things we let her take the lead and she is always in bed by 9.00 as shes tired by then and she then sleeps 10 hours through.

 

[bathbabe]

perhaps put her down on her tummy first? This is what i do with my baby he wriggles about and moans for a few mins then falls asleep. He always has a deep sleep when hes on his tummy because his startle reflex doesnt wake him up. X

 

[bathbabe]

he also sleeps 8/9hours and has done since 10weeks. We havnt got to the 4month regression yet tho! X

 

[pinktaffy]

what is the 4 months regrestion everyone talks about?

 

[shamrockerjo]

Maya doesn't self-settle, she falls asleep on me very quickly after her last bottle and then I put her into the cot, sometimes she stirs and opens her eyes but if I stroke her head for a bit (literally like 5 seconds) she goes back to sleep. However all that did change when she went through what I assume was the sleep regression. She woke up the second I put her down, cried if I didn't pick her up.. it was awful and would carry on like that for hours. BUT it only lasted for about a week and now she's actually sleeping even better. So hopefully it won't last long with your baby either and things will go back to normal soon. I have no advice regarding self-settling as I believe babies will do it when they are ready.. but good luck!