How do I tell him I don't like my bump being touched?

[Katapillar]

So I'm currently 20+4, and my bump is like enormous for that apparently.
I absolutely hate people touching it, like it makes me really uncomfortable, even when my oh touches it.
But what's even worse is that his mum and nan will not leave it alone, him mum keeps trying to kiss my stomach and it makes me feel really uneasy. She didn't even like me until she found out we were pregnant
My issue is I don't know how to tell my oh and get him to mention it to them?:sad:

Tia

 

[Parkep]

I would just tell him you had a lady in the grocery store that was touching your bump and it makes you pretty uncomfortable when people do that, and get into your personal space... Or just casually mention it to him. "you know babe, I didn't want to say anything, but it makes me very uncomfortable when people touching my stomach" im sure your oh will be very understanding

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I would just straight up tell him that it makes you uncomfortable when people touch your bump. I feel awkward when my MIL touches my belly but I let her do it anyways, but if she kissed it I would be so weirded out! No thanks!

 

[Katapillar]

Thanks, I'll try have a word while we're away this week

 

[DobbyForever]

I second Dragonfly. Rip it off like a (polite) band-aid. Maybe set a compromise/boundary. It is her experience, too, and if she wasn't fond of you before and then you say belly is totally off limits she may revert to being less than pleasant. I think letting touching go but kissing no is a great compromise but that's just what I would do. But I also am not you so I don't fully understand the level of discomfort. Nobody touches my stomach lol probably because I have resting b face

 

[xdxxtx]

YOUR comfort and YOUR boundaries come first. It's YOUR body and YOUR choice whether or when or where someone touches you. If you're uncomfortable with someone's touch, you've got to speak up. Don't let anyone make you uncomfortable, even - I actually mean ESPECIALLY - your OH. I'm glad you're going to speak up, and I hope OH and MIL respect your boundaries. There are plenty of other ways for them to bond with baby.

 

[broodymrs]

I hate my bump being touched. I was talking about it to my brother, basically having a bit of a rant about how someone at work kept doing it and it felt like she was molesting me😂 Didn't really think but my mum overheard and she hasn't touched my bump since. I feel pretty bad actually as I didn't specifically mean my mum, I was more talking about strangers doing it but still it has meant my body is my own again! So sometimes saying someone else has done it and you didn't like it can be effective. I agree with pp, mil kissing your bump is odd!

 

[misspriss]

Be honest with your DH about how you feel.

Reach out and rub your MIL's belly next time she touches yours. This works great if she's not in fab shape....Just kidding I'm not on great terms with my MIL (and we live with them), just set the boundaries you need to set in a polite but firm way.

 

[second.time]

I think this is a case where you shouldn't feel any guilt. Yes, people are trying to connect with the baby, but it's your body. While the baby lives inside your baby, you have 100% control over how people interact with your belly. You still have boundaries; being pregnant doesn't make you public property! Once the baby is out, your mother-in-law can kiss and cuddle and touch as much as she likes, but she can't just ignore your body and your boundaries. I mean, let's be honest, the baby doesn't even feel the touches and kisses, so it's not like you're depriving the baby of a chance to bond!

Maybe you can find other ways for your mother-in-law and other relatives to bond with the baby. It doesn't have to be physical. Could you propose a project, like working on a scrapbook/baby book together, etc.? Or letting her help with nursery decor? Something that shows her that you're welcoming her into the baby's life, but she doesn't have to physically touch you to reassure herself of that connection.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

set the boundary now because when the LO comes, people will randomly touch them too!

 

[arturia]

Thankfully I haven't had to tell random strangers not to touch my belly, but I've definitely felt uncomfortable with my MIL touching it. My mom has the courtesy to ask first. I've definitely decided it's boundary time, but I haven't been in the touchy circumstance with MIL for awhile, so I haven't had a chance to inform her yet.

Nobody else, not even your OH, has the 'right' to touch your belly. You -ALWAYS- have the right to say no to any unwanted touching, even if you have allowed it before. Set your boundaries and enforce them. If you're worried about offending others, don't be. The self always comes before the feelings of others in this circumstance. This is your body and the only being with any rights to it is you.

 

[DobbyForever]

set the boundary now because when the LO comes, people will randomly touch them too!

This! Yes! I don't know it firsthand but I have heard.

Op, were you able to talk to hubs? How did it go?

 

[Wish85]

I'm someone who would ask a pregnant lady BEFORE I touch them if it was ok but I think people assume you won't mind because to them it signifies a 'nice' gesture.

I'm not one for touching other people's pregnant bellies but I love people touching mine and funnily enough, no-one does

At the end of the day, it's your body so I would speak up - it's either speak up or put up with it and there are nice ways of saying it ie please don't take this personally as it's not you, it's the same for everyone but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable when people touch or kiss my belly'...at which stage they will probably apologise. Sometimes people just don't realise.

 

[Katapillar]

Thankyou all, I managed to bring it up and he said he had meant to say something to his mum and nan but said he will do, and we have agreed on no unexpected touching on his part cause it panics me, thank you all for the advice, I'm so glad it's not just me who finds it weird! Haha

 

[DobbyForever]

Yay glad he will talk to them about it and is being supportive . Hopefully they are more respectful of your personal space moving forward.

 

[Farmgirlalee]

I totally agree- your body- your space. Baby doesn't know someone is "touching them" because it can't feel it! Let them knit a blanket or something. I hate people who touch without asking. I get people are excited but seriously- body limits!!