How do other single Moms living alone manage the household?

[44npregnant]

During my pregnancy, my biggest worry was money. Not that money still isn't a concern, but I've found that just getting through everyday issues is difficult when you are a single mom.

It's just me and the baby in our apartment. When things need to get done like the trash needs taking out or I need to wash clothes, what am I to do?

I thought I'd get plenty of time to clean, etc. when the baby was asleep. Wrong. The baby awoke while I was getting laundry and it will probably take a long time for him to get over that trauma...Mom not being there when he woke up.

I don't have any family in the city and friends just don't offer to help me like that. I can't carry the baby AND trash or laundry.

What to do?

 

[Scout]

When you do laundry, do you have to stay with it or do you put it in and leave it? With the trash, I'd just put baby in the crib or a pack n play and then do it. As long as baby is safe, it should be fine, even if he's crying.

Do you have a baby carrier? I have a boba 3g and it was really useful for carrying baby when I had other stuff to carry/do too. If you have to stay with the laundry while it washes/dries, then I'd definitely put baby in a carrier. If you just have to run drop it in, then I'd put baby in a safe place and run do it.

I'm a single mom of an almost 2 year old. I live in a house though so I know it's easier since the laundry room is inside and I just take my trash right outside the back door, but I think it can still be done. Sometimes you just have to let the baby cry a bit. He'll be fine. When mine was little I carried a monitor around with me if I needed to go outside or even when I went for a shower just so I could make sure she was fine. As far as the rest of cleaning, when baby was little I just did what had to be done and leave the rest. It gets easier; I promise.

I'm sorry you don't have family around to help out. I'm lucky that my parents and two of my aunts live in the same neighborhood, just one street over from me. (Actually, I bought this house when I was 7 months pregnant bc I knew I'd need family close by. No way would I have moved this close to them if I wasn't about to be a single mom LOL) I've never had trouble with the house stuff, but it's so nice to have someone there when you need to run to the store or when you're sick or something, so I really feel for you.

 

[aimee-lou]

Sometimes you just have to get on with it. As long as baby is safe then you can get on with your daily business. I try to do thing like putting out bins, gardening, cleaning windows etc while youngest is asleep but that means I've usually got my nearly 3yo with me (or in the vicinity lol). Children get used to seeing you doing things day-to-day so seeing you washing dishes they will understand that you cannot come right this second. Just keep talking to them and try to keep them distracted while you finish up. Get them involved by giving them something related to play with or 'help' you with lol (my middle son loves helping me clean the windows....they end up streaky but he's so proud lol). It's never easy trying to juggle children and housework but as long as the essentials get done you're doing ok.

 

[baileybubs]

I agree with the other two ladies, sometimes you just have to do the jobs and let baby cry unfortunately so they learn you can't always come straight away. As long as baby is in a safe place it will be ok, it also helps baby to learn to self soothe and play by herself. I have an almost 2 year old and a 7 month old so I learned the hard way that you just have to let them get used to you not always being next to them, because sometimes both kids would be screaming and I'd have to just deal with which ever one needed my attention most (ie if the older one had pooped and the younger one was just crying for attention I would have to make him wait). It's hard and it does have a very physical effect to hear your baby cry but they will be ok. I think the idea of a monitor and a baby carrier are great, I used a carrier when my son was little and it freed my hands to be able to do stuff for my daughter. And with the monitor you can hear if baby is getting really distressed.

It is hard but I can also say it does get easier hun, big hugs, you'll find your own routine x

 

[daneuse27]

How old is your baby now? The older they get, the more they can be entertained by other things- whether its playing with toys, getting absorbed in their world of make-believe (which my daughter is already doing at 2) and even some TV time. Of course I try not to rely on 'screen time' to keep my daughter occupied when I need to do things, but it's a good short cut to have there for when you might really need it.
The older my daughter gets, the more I can explain to her that I am busy and she needs to wait. I think this is a good thing for her to learn anyway - I would much rather her learn the concept of waiting than to be stimulated with an ipad whenever I'm not free to entertain her. And as the other ladies said, there's nothing wrong with making them wait short amounts of time from the beginning. If you're in the middle of something, perhaps shout out a reassuring "Coming soon!" before you finish up and head over to him.
I think we need to put our children first, but in order to do that we have to look after ourselves too. And for a lot of people, looking after the area we live in has an impact on their daily happiness and outlook. So don't feel guilty if you need to complete a task before you can fully tend to him. Being a fulltime mom is hard work, and we need to do what we can to make sure we're looking after ourselves emotionally too.

 

[alibaba24]

I actually do carry my child and the garbage out? lol Am I in the minority? I put it on the landing until I am going out then I will have my 14 month old in one arm and pick up the rubbish in the other arm and put it into the bins on ground floor.

 

[moomin_troll]

Your baby won't be traumatised because they wake up and ur not there. I've had to leave my boys alone while I take the trash out, now it's not so bad as they are 6 and 3, but when corey (3) eas first born Id just put him somewhere safe and even tho the bin is on my drive right near my door, Id lock up.
I found housework easier with a toddler and a newborn than I do with a toddler and a 6 yr old lol
No on expects u to have a show home, do what u can, when you can

 

[Skywalker]

Whenever possible, I have my son sitting somewhere that he can see me. While downstairs doing dishes/laundry/floors, etc., I have him in his little walker and he walks/wheels all around, feeling happy and unrestrained. He's going to be one in a few weeks so obviously this will be different if your baby is much younger, but the same idea applies; basically, if baby can see you, baby's more likely to be happy.

My son still fusses but I say something to him to reassure him or put on Curious George or something in the background. And honestly sometimes, your baby is just going to have to cry, because there isn't another alternative. My son HATES when I do the dishes because even if he's right there in the kitchen with me, my back is turned to him for a long time. He also hates when I take a shower and disappear behind the curtain even though I peak around at him every few seconds.

And I do carry my son with me to take the trash out, or, if it's piled up on the patio for a few days, I'll load it into the car and then park right next to the dumpster and unload it - and yes, he screams when I get out of the car to unload it.

I try to make up for all of this by playing with him as much as possible, talking to him, taking him places, going swimming, etc. I know it's hard but it's one of those things where it's like you either hold your baby and keep them happy and then never have clean laundry for either of you, or you let your baby cry every now and again if it means you'll have clean laundry. Obviously it's not ideal and there's usually two parents around to handle this but we just have to make it go right for ourselves and our babies