How do u punish a 16 year old???

[babybaillie]

Kicking him out would NEVER be an option. I cant believe sum ppl even suggest that. Hes my son, and as his mother its my duty to put a roof over his head and protect him whereever possible. at 16 hes not got a clue about looking after himself.

Hes been grounded and has down quite a bit of housework. so hopefully thats that for now.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

ban them from gaming, computers...anything electronic like that.

...or do you have a bookworm?

I frustrated the HELL out of my parents. No matter what, I could amuse myself from teh day I was born! hahaha

 

[Tegans Mama]

ban them from gaming, computers...anything electronic like that.

...or do you have a bookworm?

I frustrated the HELL out of my parents. No matter what, I could amuse myself from teh day I was born! hahaha

That was my Mums problem with me, she would ground me (so what I was happier inside) tell me no TV (so what TV is boring) make me do the housework (so what I'm human I can clean) but she could never take away EVERY book I had. When she said 'go to your room' I would go to my room and happily read away for hours undisturbed which was actually a luxury

Honestly I have no idea what to tell you because all 16 year olds are different - whilst some are still children, others are most definitely adults.

 

[lozzy21]

Depending on there behaviour kicking them out i see is an option. Yes he is your son and you have a responsability to put a roof over his head as a child but at 16 he could legaly live on his own and needs to take the consiquences (sp?) of his actions like the adult he is supposed to me.
If the only money they get is from you, if he had been behaving badly you can take it way.

My mam took just used to stop the power to the plugs in my brothers room via the fuse box. He still had light but could not go on his games console or his computer.

You need to find the thing that gets to him. As some of the others have said i dident mind being grounded and i love reading and dident go out much anyway but she used to take away my fone privalages.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Waitwaitwait... if you don't mind my asking, what is the problem exactly? (Not me being nosy... just so we can help better)

 

[babybaillie]

Waitwaitwait... if you don't mind my asking, what is the problem exactly? (Not me being nosy... just so we can help better)

Since he started back at skool in aug, hes been late 14 times! he leaves the house in plenty of time, but never gets there in time. This week he was excluded from skool for throwing wet toilet paper about with his friends in the toilets. which i wouldnt say is a big thing to be excluded from skool for. and i will discuss that with the teacher on monday when hes back. but i just feel hes just started 5th year and should be gettin his head down n gettin on with skool or if he doesnt wnat to stay on leave. he has never been in trouble at skool b4 so this was totaly out of character for him. but recently he has been caught telling lies, and money went missing from my purse just b4 we went on holiday too, which he denied......

 

[thompsonic]

I'd get creative with his punishments... if he's making trouble in school, take him out for a day, and make him work work work at home- it'll make him grateful to go back- and scared to misbehave incase you make him work again!

I am also 16 and agree with everyone else my age... anything strict will just make him hate you. The only real punishment is would be for him to realise the consequences of his actions... either by explaining how it makes you feel (and throw in a few tears) or explain, very bluntly, how his behaviour will affect his future, job, money wise etc. But DON'T PATRONISE. All that will do is make him do is want to rebel against you.

Or maybe that last bit is just me... I'm stubborn

 

[morri]

Waitwaitwait... if you don't mind my asking, what is the problem exactly? (Not me being nosy... just so we can help better)

Since he started back at skool in aug, hes been late 14 times! he leaves the house in plenty of time, but never gets there in time. This week he was excluded from skool for throwing wet toilet paper about with his friends in the toilets. which i wouldnt say is a big thing to be excluded from skool for. and i will discuss that with the teacher on monday when hes back. but i just feel hes just started 5th year and should be gettin his head down n gettin on with skool or if he doesnt wnat to stay on leave. he has never been in trouble at skool b4 so this was totaly out of character for him. but recently he has been caught telling lies, and money went missing from my purse just b4 we went on holiday too, which he denied......

Don't worrry about being late . My brother lived 5 mins from his school and still managed to come late xD

hed even given an award for this at the graduation xD.
other I think thats childish but not really worth excluding them I think must be a harsh school wehre hes at.

 

[babybaillie]

Waitwaitwait... if you don't mind my asking, what is the problem exactly? (Not me being nosy... just so we can help better)

Since he started back at skool in aug, hes been late 14 times! he leaves the house in plenty of time, but never gets there in time. This week he was excluded from skool for throwing wet toilet paper about with his friends in the toilets. which i wouldnt say is a big thing to be excluded from skool for. and i will discuss that with the teacher on monday when hes back. but i just feel hes just started 5th year and should be gettin his head down n gettin on with skool or if he doesnt wnat to stay on leave. he has never been in trouble at skool b4 so this was totaly out of character for him. but recently he has been caught telling lies, and money went missing from my purse just b4 we went on holiday too, which he denied......

Don't worrry about being late . My brother lived 5 mins from his school and still managed to come late xD

hed even given an award for this at the graduation xD.
other I think thats childish but not really worth excluding them I think must be a harsh school wehre hes at.

Have to worry about his lateness. His skool is very strict and sends letter texts and demands if ur late more than 3 times. so it out of hand, therefore im getting it in the neck!!

 

[Louisaxx]

Instead of taking stuff away, why not offer him things if his behaviour improves, eg if he is is on time for a term, put some money away for driving lessons or get him a computer game or a magazine subscription etc. I'm a teacher and find that providing an incentive always works better than threatening with punishments etc, just something new for you to try! Bribery and corruption all the way... ha ha!!! Good luck, it must be tough!!

 

[fluffyblue]

Hi I have a 16 year old son who ive had nothing but small problems with for at least a year, he is growing up and changing and pushing me to the limit with his attitude. Ive never had an ounce of trouble outside ie, he doesnt go out, doesnt hang on street corners comes in when he is meant to, he just has this awful attitude.

He had a bad last year at school and we thought he would be making a fresh start at a new college however he wanted to go the school sixth form. We tried to persuade him however he knew best so we supported him. 2 months later he quit "before he was pushed". So its just been a snowball since then.

Ive got to the stage where I feel resentful towards him and am treating him with the same contempt he gives me which is so juvenile but I cant help it, I ignore him which he hates but it makes me feel better.

I have certain rules, ie, no pc or xbox after 10pm on weeknights, 10.30pm on weekends. He does in fairness respect this. IF he goes out he has to be in at 11.30pm any day even weekends and again he does respect this. Sounds like I have it idyllic doesnt it !!

But the attitude is the biggest relationship breaker in our family.

Now Ben is working, (he got an apprenticeship in the NHS) we now have the big argument about paying board, he doesnt think he should, and we do ! So again the relationship breaks down, its a constant cycle.

So what do I do, ignore him so its a constant rollercoaster in our house. I think you can ground a 16 year old, whilst they live under my roof they abide by my rules and if thats grounded so be it. If he dont like it the doors there for him to go through and as I say to him dont come back !

Whether 16 or 26 they should respect your rules whilst under your roof and whatever punishments or treatment you give out.

I just have some issues with myself and my actions with my boy who overall is a damn good kid xx

 

[fluffyblue]

Waitwaitwait... if you don't mind my asking, what is the problem exactly? (Not me being nosy... just so we can help better)

Since he started back at skool in aug, hes been late 14 times! he leaves the house in plenty of time, but never gets there in time. This week he was excluded from skool for throwing wet toilet paper about with his friends in the toilets. which i wouldnt say is a big thing to be excluded from skool for. and i will discuss that with the teacher on monday when hes back. but i just feel hes just started 5th year and should be gettin his head down n gettin on with skool or if he doesnt wnat to stay on leave. he has never been in trouble at skool b4 so this was totaly out of character for him. but recently he has been caught telling lies, and money went missing from my purse just b4 we went on holiday too, which he denied......

Just a light joke, Ben was late one year constantly and we got all sorts of letters etc. Like yours he left the house early and was always on school grounds early but his excuse was "well mom my classroom is at the other end of the school and becuase my name begins with A (allen) im always the first to be called and the teacher always calls it early. Im always there by the time they get to C"

I mean c'mon !!

 

[Joyzerelly]

I don't think you can. They're a grown up so you could start treating them like one and asking for rent etc?

Cant ask for rent when they have no source of income. Technically a grown up, shame they dont behave like it.

Can you tell them that if they want to be treated like an adult they have to start acting like it, by paying rent, but since they don't have any money you'll accept jobs around the house instead, helping with the little ones etc?

 

[morri]

Does he have any other schools around which arent that strict xD? Sounds like the 1960s that school.(just without the cane I hope)

 

[babybaillie]

Does he have any other schools around which arent that strict xD? Sounds like the 1960s that school.(just without the cane I hope)

No that was why we got him into that skool, as it has such a good reputation and great results. we actually moved to the area for skools.

 

[ChloeRobinson]

All 16 year old's hate to iron. Do this why dad is in for extra support and make him do it. It's a lot easier to punish people when dad is in because they know it normally ends up worse if dad is there. Also it is very easy to limit him to the bare essentials, no tv - phones etc...

Then again you could go a different root, you could speak to him as a grown up and say something like this. " You know what, mess around for another 2 years and as soon as you hit 18 your out, simple as that. But, if you behave like a normal person and show respect for others, then I don't care when you move out."

Just remember you have the power, the moment you forget that is when all hell breaks loose.

 

[rwhite]

I remember my mum taking my keys off me really pushed my buttons, I hated that...also limiting their access to the internet should get some kind of a reaction, maybe? Both things I didn't like being punished with (that this wasn't an awfully long time ago, only 4 years!!) x

 

[hypnorm]

If this is out of character for him previously then something must have happened, to make him like this.
Have you sat and talked to him rather than trying to punish him, ask him why he is being late.
Could he be getting bullied? is he bored? is he strugglng? wrong crowd at schoool, what about asking his friends.

Other option if he insists on being late tell him that you will start treating him like a child and drive him to the school door!

 

[jackiea85]

If he is always late for school have you considered telling him that you are going to walk him into class? Maybe it might embarrass him into behaving? x

 

[Amanda]

We had a similar thing with Kayleigh a couple of months ago. We wanted her to go to college for A levels, but she didn't get the GCSE grades needed (although we found out after that they WOULD have took her!), so she stayed on at 6th form for retakes. She was not turning up, and if she did, she was late, or would walk out. I was at my wits end! She borrowed money off me while waiting for her EMA to come through, then we found out she hadn't done a full week, so wasn't entitleed to any money!!!

We sat down and had a good talk. Turns out she hated the school and felt like she was still being treated like a child. So I gave her the choice. I told her that if she left school we would lose £200 a month in tax credits and child benefit, so if she could get a job that could pay me that amount in board, then that would be ok. Who said there aren't jobs out there? That was on the Tuesday night, she started work packing in a factory for £4 an hour on the Thursday morning!

That was the beginning of November and she's been a changed person since. She's still a nightmare to get up in the morning , but the rest of the time she's great.

I have a real problem with the state of her bedroom, and have for years - she's soooo untidy! Since starting work, it's nearly always done. And if it's not, she'll volunteer the information that she's staying in that night to do her room!

It's now up to Kayleigh what she wants to do - she can either go to college for her A levels next September, or she can stay at work. I've said its up to her and I'll support her in what she wants to do.

Hope you get it sorted soon hun, I know just how hard it is with a teenager and LOs. This is just the tip of the iceberg with Kayleigh - if I went into details, it'd curl your hair!!!!!