how do you all cope? *long*

[amie-leigh]

i have a 6week old baby and my best freind has told me that my OH admitted to her OH that he cheated on me when LO was 3days old and he is planning on moving out but doesnt want to tell me yet incase i do it first taking LO with me
i called him to ask as i was so confused i thought we were happy and he admitted he was in middle of flat hunting with his best friend and wont come back tonight to let me calm down (i think i have a right to be annoyed)

what id like to know is how hard is being a single parent? LO will still see her dad if he takes responsibility. its not like he's done a great deal since she was born, occasional nappy change and feed.

any advice would be great and sorry about the huge rant

 

[lauraperrysan]

aw hun, im sorry to hear he's done the dirty and leaving you with a 6 weeks old baby is a very unfair thing to do but hey...you will get through this!! Where are you, UK or USA? can advise on help in the k but no idea in the us. Hugs and it will get better, he's the one missing out not you xxx

 

[xxannxx]

Hiya, I was in the same situation a few years ago. Although my ex didn't cheat, he was going out and staying out drinking and with his mates, gambling etc, and in end I couldn't handle worrying about him when I had so much to do with a newborn baby. I have to admit that while it was hard adjusting to being alone, the actual childcare didn't change that much, he also had only done the occasional feed, or nappy change (and never at night), and deep down I felt that a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, as guess I knew long before that that we weren't going to work. It took around 6 months before he settled down and started taking LO for afternoon at weekend, which became overnight when he was about 10mths. Now my LO is 3 and he go's to his dad's 1 night every weekend, and 1 full weekend in 4, and loves it, and although me and my ex still don't get on very well, we now always keep it civil for sake of him, and hopefully will stay that way. Hopefully your situation won't take as long to sort out, and your LO's dad will take responsilbility a lot sooner than mine did.

 

[cinnamum]

men are all pigs.
they dont know what they've got till its gone. my OH doesnt do much either he'd rather play ps3 but we work hard at making it work.
hope it turns round for you.
i know i am due to marry but i do envy the single mums... they get there lil ones all to there selves x x x x

 

[purpledahlia]

Hiya, I cant advise on how i cope with the baby as shes not born yet...

But i knwo your not far away.. is it dunfermline your in??

I think if he has done this then he should move out. can you afford or manage the rent?? will he pay child support?? can you move with your parents?? whats all your options etc..

You will get a bit more money from jobcentre if your a lone parent and they will help you go back to work when the time comes, and you can get some childcare help when you do aswell.

You will be fine, I heard the first month of the babies life is the hardest, and if the father hasnt done much up untill now then you will be fine, just make lots of friends and go to baby groups and classes to keep you both busy. theres loads in dunfermline i think,x

 

[Perdita]

Hiya, I cant advise on how i cope with the baby as shes not born yet...

But i knwo your not far away.. is it dunfermline your in??

I think if he has done this then he should move out. can you afford or manage the rent?? will he pay child support?? can you move with your parents?? whats all your options etc..

You will get a bit more money from jobcentre if your a lone parent and they will help you go back to work when the time comes, and you can get some childcare help when you do aswell.

You will be fine, I heard the first month of the babies life is the hardest, and if the father hasnt done much up untill now then you will be fine, just make lots of friends and go to baby groups and classes to keep you both busy. theres loads in dunfermline i think,x

Im in the same situation as purpledahlia as in no idea how I'm going to cope with the newborn but if your in dunfermline I'm pretty close too (Dalgety Bay) I've read lots of good advice on here and stay in touch - it really does help knowing you're not alone and that even on the worst days there is hope that you can sort things out! I agree that men can be pigs and sounds as though you'll do better without a cheating, lying, unreliable, lazy, cowardly, unthinking, waste of space and emotions!!! Oooops, were my fangs showing there??? If he wants you and the baby back I'll give you the same advice I would give anyone - it happens on your terms, not his. He loses all credibility as a dad when he behaves like that!
Good luck.

 

[DizzyMoo]

Honestly ladies its not as hard as people make out, Yes of course there are certain things which are difficult & at times hard, but being perfectly honest its a damn site easier WITHOUT a man imo lol
I've been a single mum to josh for nearly 4yrs, & then i'll become the single mum to 2

You have bad days, but the good days far outway the bad

 

[dollygirlie]

being a single parent is tough, I am not going to lie, my baby is 6 months, and its been the hardest 6 months of my life, its a major ajustment, if you can surround yourself with as much friends and family, you are on your way, and join lots of mum groups too, good luck