how do you become attatched to your baby???..*think i need help*

[welshcakes79]

to cut a long story short, i dont think ive bonded with Rhiannon...
i mean i love her and everything, ill more than willing to buy her anything she needs or anything i want to spoil her with..but thats where it ends...

when she cries, i dont have an urge to comfort her...and thats frightening me as before i put it down with being too tired to have the energy to comfort her..now whenever she cries i look longingly at the nearest exit...

thinking this isnt a "normal" reaction for a mum when her baby cries..
dont get me wrong i do comfort her.. but without being to harsh i wish i was anywhere but...

i get good days where i think ahh yeah your cute, or ill hug her loads... and im more than happy to show her off but i feel more like her sister than her mum.. i just dont "feel" like her mum...

hope you wont judge me, ive tried to explain how i feel in previous posts but i think i was skirting the issue.. so as tonight im really really low im just going to come out with it...

sorry

 

[ryder]

I know how you feel hun, sometimes I feel like that. Especially on her really cranky nights, when she doesn't want to sleep and just cries or screams... I feel like I just can't do it and like I dont want to do it... I feel so bad too.

I dont know what to suggest

 

[Samantha675]

I often feel the same way when Bren cries. I don't think there is a time limit on being 'attached'.

 

[charveyron]

Aww huni sorry you're feeling like this, have you spoken to your gp? it could be PND. I really think you should see your gp you'll feel so much better.

Hope you manage to get some help soon xx

 

[ApplePip]

well done for admitting this!!
it takes a lot to tell your self never mind other people.
unfortuantly i have no idea how it feels just yet as i've just found out im expecting (and im bricking it)
please seek help from those around you and tell your dr/midwife asap!
post natal depression happens to a LOT of people
and you are NOT alone in feeling the way you do!
its my biggest worry as im currently on anti=depressants (altho i now have to stop) and i have been known to self harm.
i hope you get the help you deserve.
please let me know how things go because it's really playing on my mind!
well done for seeking help!!!
x

 

[Wobbles]

I wouldn't say you need help only being able to have an opinion from your circumstances (other topics) I think you need SPACE! But you know that!

Looking after baby and house in your own space is exhausting BUT you have so much pressure ontop of that with your current situation - doesn't sound like you sit down - your always picking up toys more worried about the stuff around you etc when tbh it just needs left sometimes only you can't do that!

Is that making sense?

I have days I feel blerghhhhh when Caitlin cries for no reason other than attention yet if she hurts herself Im there over protective kissing it better because I love her just like you love your lady!

I really think you only have one cure for this ........ x x

 

[Always&4ever]

*hugs*, I know what you mean hun and im here for you

 

[welshcakes79]

I really think you only have one cure for this ........ x x

A lottery win???

i know thats a big part of it, and probably most of the reason i feel so shit..
but
i dunno
theres this niggly little feeling in my gut that im just not a "mum" person...

might have word with gp next time im there

 

[princess_bump]

x x x

 

[Serene123]

Just now infact, Caitlyn wouldn't sleep so I walked off and left her crying. It was attention crying when I walked off. As soon as it was real crying I was back in a shot. Sometimes I just look at her and think WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

Happens to the best of us x

 

[BurtonBaby]

I agree with Wobbles, I dont know how you do it! I get stressed taking care of her in my own home, not worrying about anyone else (well I guess except DH). But if I constantly felt under someones scrutiny, I'd go crazy! It wouldn't hurt to talk to your GP either tho.

 

[welshcakes79]

Sometimes I just look at her and think WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

Happens to the best of us x

thats what i think everytime
i cant even distinguish what her cries are...most books say you'll pick them up after a few weeks.. rhiannons 9 months

 

[Tegans Mama]

It definately sounds like PND to me hun. Go to your GP and maybe they can help. Don't blame yourself, it is not your fault at all

 

[Serene123]

Maybe PND, maybe just stress?

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

I think many of us have moments where we have doubts about what is expected of us as mummies. Mummies know everything right? Wrong, its a learning wave that we will be riding for a long time yet and we will have days where we are close to tearing our hair out but seeing as these babies have no manual we have to adapt to them as they do us.
It's great you could share your thoughts here and I hope you get some help from your GP and maybe from friends and family who could maybe give you a bit of "you time" xXx

 

[welshcakes79]

thank you all for your replies... and for not judging me..

x

 

[sam's mum]

I totally agree with Wobbles that you need some space! And I don't know how you do it either

Is your OH up this way? If you wanted and you both have the time you're welcome to leave Rhiannon here for a few days (I promise Sam will behave himself ) and have a bit of 'you' time...or you're both very welcome here any time! x

 

[Always&4ever]

We'd never judge you hun *hugs*

 

[welshcakes79]

Sam's mum, your an angel.. (plus i trust Sam lol)
OH is in Lincs, quite a way away
think im going to ask my sister to have her from tomorow night till sunday night... i practically feel like a single mum-come-slave which has been getting me down...

do think i need to get away for a break as ive had loads to do what with house hunting, wedding and parenthood..

do winchester have an xmas market hun??

 

[sam's mum]

There's a christmas market at winchester cathedral...never been but meant to be good! Get OH down near here, bring Rhiannon over to keep Sam company and have a few days away! Would love to see you any time though if you both/all wanted to come and stay..we have a spare room and a travel cot x