How do you cook with a newborn?!!!

[stevie123]

Hi all.
I have a 3 week old baby who is one of those will not be put down kind of baby's. He can be quite unsettled at times too.
I have a 6 year old too, and I'm really struggling at dinnertime.
What do you do with your newborns at dinnertime? My partner isn't home.till after 6pm and Im struggling to be able to cook a meal. I need to be able to sort dinner out for my son!
I have a carrier,baby just cries in it, he won't sit in his bouncy chair, and even when I hold him sometimes he is unsettled and cries and just thrashes about so even if I'm trying to cook one handed it's horrendous with a screaming baby.
How do you manage to cook for your family?
And what about eating the food? Me and oh have to take it in turns to eat and sit with our older son if the baby is awake. I just want to be able to sit together as a family and eat.
I feel bad for my 6 year old as I feel like I barely spend any time with him at all now as I'm constantly holding the baby or desperately trying to settle him and stop him crying, and now we can't even sit and eat together.
Anyone else have trouble cooking etc? Any tips? Thanks ladies x

 

[justplay91]

Ah, those days... I remember feeling terrible for my son and husband, too. We also had to eat (and sleep) in shifts. There really wasn't much I could do other than have her in the wrap a lot, but otherwise we ate a lot of takeout or hubby made dinner after work and one of us just held the baby while we ate. I know it's not much of a consolation, but it does get better! Someone once told me that it gets better in two week increments, and that was the best piece of wisdom I got about parenting. As that "fourth trimester" comes to a close, baby will get more and more okay with being put down.
Some things you could try:
1. Swing. This thing was a LIFESAVER for me. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing that got me a spare minute to myself with both my kids.
2. Pacifier (we use MAM brand). Not sure if you've tried one already, or are against using them for one reason or another, but we have always loved them and the moments of peace they allowed us. We breastfed and it never caused any issues as long as I still made sure to feed the baby at least every two hours.
3. Roll up some receiving blankets and lay them along your baby's sides. Sometimes this seems to trick them into thinking they are being held. Lol. We used to put my daughter in her bouncer and put rolled up blankets alongside her and bounce her with our feet while we were eating. It allowed us some peace we wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Best of luck! Hugs!

 

[Twinmum87]

Baby carrier. Lots of singing. Chattering away, just anything and everything when he was in bouncer. Going back and forth tickling, playing peekaboo etc. I can do a hell of a lot of things 1 handed. As he got bigger, teething/feeding/baby wearing necklaces have helped as he will chew and play with it a fair bit before he starts trying to grab everything off of me but I started teaching ta and no at 5 months too which didn't take long for him to understand.

 

[LoveCakes]

What type of carrier do you have? An ergonomic one will be a lot more supportive and comfy for a newborn in particular. A stretchy in particular I find is the most snuggly.

For cooking I've bought a lot of pre prepared veg that can be chucked I the slow cooker or microwaved. It's more expensive but I see it as short term. Also with a slow cooker you can put the veg in first then if you get a minute an hour later put the meat in, plus it'll be hot for everyone even if you don't get to eat together. I also now have to get my hubby to cut my dinner into bite sized pieces so I can eat one handed.

Could your 6 year old help you prep? Not chopping or anything but fetching things, opening packets etc... It might entertain them too

 

[minties]

The first month or so SUCKS when you are the only one who can do the cooking and you have other kids.

With Emma I would feed her, burp her and stick her in the carrier pronto. She often thrashes around and cries also but I find she was/is more likely to fall asleep if just fed. I would walk up and down the house till she nodded off then quickly get cooking.

If she ever falls asleep in the late afternoon on my lap etc, I try and transfer her to the bed and run to the kitchen haha. Even if it's 4pm I just do it. We eat dinner at all sorts of crazy times.

We also often employ the "snack now, real food later" method where we all grab something quick to eat like a banana, muesli bar and glass of milk and just have dinner late, whenever Emma lets us.

It's gotten a lot easier since she turned 6/7 weeks old as now she will sit in her swing for 15 minutes cooing at toys.

She won't use a dummy and won't be swaddled so my sleeping methods from my last two babies haven't worked at all.

 

[MindUtopia]

A wrap rather than a carrier as carriers aren't as comfortable and snuggly for new babies. Also, I would organise freezer meals or batch cook things I could do when my husband is home. Like either he takes the baby in the morning while you prep something to go in a slow cooker, or he preps the dinner in the slow cooker before he leaves for the day. You can also do those things over the weekend for the week. And then yeah, we took turns eating and holding our daughter or one of us wore her in the wrap for eating. Even if he's crying, he's crying in your arms, which is infinitely better for him than being put down to cry alone. And yes, second the idea of prepping food ready to go whenever he is content (so if he does settle in the carrier and it's 2 in the afternoon, get dinner ready then and re-heat or pop in the oven later). It really won't last forever, so if you need to survive on ready meals and pizza for a few weeks, it's also not the worst thing ever.

 

[Spudtastic]

So I found that I had to know what I was cooking before that day and have the ingredients in my house (I'm rubbish at this so I had to make an effort). Then work on the meal throughout the day. I did a lot of slow cooker meals so I could put them on in the morning. Do double the amount and freeze a portion.
My husband also cooked half the time.

And yes those first few months when baby has colic and won't be put down will pass. We also did meals in shifts.

With my eldest (3years) she either got what we were having or I did her something really simple.

Now that dd2 is 7 months I still struggle to do dinner if I leave it all.until the last minute and it becomes really stressful. Most nights dh works until 6.30pm.

 

[Twinmum87]

I have an NCT caboo. Nice and snuggly for tiny babies and I have side carried him in it since he was 5 months.

 

[Bevziibubble]

A wrap can be really good to help you get things done. We also found that the swing helped a lot as he loved the movement of it and it helped settle him right down.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

We also did snack now...eat when possible.

 

[dani_tinks]

Close caboo is great for those first few weeks/months. Also a slow cooker i've found is amazing. I only need 5-10 mins to throw things in. Ready cut onions/meat etc.

 

[cjb]

I isually prepare food earlier on in the day . normally 1st thing.
So its just a case of warming it up at dinner time.
Def b4 5 weeks old it was difficult to eat as a family because baby was v grumpy from 5pm till bed.
Then luckily we started using colic drops and it became a lot easier.

Also make bigger meals and freeze them.

Like everyone says it wont last and just have to get through it and do something different everyday and c what works best.

 

[george83]

I isually prepare food earlier on in the day . normally 1st thing.
So its just a case of warming it up at dinner time.
Def b4 5 weeks old it was difficult to eat as a family because baby was v grumpy from 5pm till bed.
Then luckily we started using colic drops and it became a lot easier.

Also make bigger meals and freeze them.

Like everyone says it wont last and just have to get through it and do something different everyday and c what works best.

I do this too, in fact my 'baby' is now 16 months and I still try to cook earlier in the day dinner time is usually chaos and my oh is very rarely around

 

[Literati_Love]

Honestly, we just ate (store-bought) freezer meals for a couple months. I could never put my baby down, including when she was sleeping, so all I had was a few seconds to pop something pre-made in the oven. there is time to make healthy, home-cooked meals when you're not in survival mode anymore!

 

[themisfit]

I could have written this myself.

Raven gets colicky in the evenings. Around 4 o'clock, she starts fussing. She only stops when I hold her or play with her. She does this until 8 or 9 o'clock. My partner doesn't get home until 7. So, most of these crying hours... she's alone with me.

Cooking became a hassle. I would run back and forth between the meal and her bassinet. Sometimes, things got burnt. It was miserable for me. I have found a few things that work.

Cooking easy to make meals that require little babying. I found that making complicated meals meant running back and forth... while making easier meals means I can toss it on the stove, and then sit down with Raven while it cooks, and check on it in 15 minutes.

Or letting her cry it out. I know a lot of parents don't like doing this, but sometimes I have to. If I didn't, I'd never get anything done, as there are some days where she literally will not stop crying.

Or using something like a slow cooker if you have one. This might make it easier to have the meal ready by dinnertime, but give you more time during the evening.

If not, start cooking early and keep everything on a low heat. I find this helps on the days where Raven is being really, really fussy. I'll keep everything on medium or low while tending to her, too. Instead of starting at 6:30, I'll start at 6. Etc.

 

[stevie123]

Hi ladies,
Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. I feel a bit more at ease now as I know it wont last forever and like a few of you said at the end of the day it is taking to hurt if I'm.not able to cook every night.
I have gone and bought some ready meals for us all, and some frozen veg that I can just heat up and don't need to peel and chop etc.
I have also ordered a stretchy wrap, as I have a carrier that he doesn't seam to like much. The wrap came today and he still didn't like being in it, though it felt much comfier to me. I'm going to persist with the wrap and hope he gets used to it after a while.
I will also get my slow cooker out and try and get a meal prepared in the morning or earlier on in the day as some of you suggested.
I guess I could get my 6 year old to try and help with some meals so will also try getting him involved too.

My baby seams to have a little routine in the day where he will be awake for hours in the morning, and then he will fall asleep at lunchtime and then sleep all afternoon (on me usually). He then becomes wide awake again at like 4 oclock and doesn't go back to sleep until bedtime. That's why dinnertime is so difficult I guess as he's never asleep at that time. He's very strange for a newborn as he shouldn't be staying awake for so long, he's acting like he's 6 months old already!
Thanks ladies x