How do you cope?

[Sinead]

Hi
I found out yesterday that a friend has just got pregnant. She doesn't even want children. She has told her partner that she will only keep it if they get married, something he is reluctant to do. Anyway he has agreed so they are going to have the baby.
I was just so upset about it - has anyone else felt like this?
Sorry to have a whinge but I feel like such a bad person for not being happy for her

Sinead

 

[FJL]

You know what? I wrote a post with the EXACT same title on her about a month ago!

No, you're not a bad person...I used to think I was, but then all the wonderful people on this forum reassured me that what I was feeling was completely normal.

When you're trying so hard to get pregnant, and someone falls pregnant by mistake and aren't even happy about it, it can be a real kick in the guts.

Personally, i've had several people fall pregnant around me since we've been trying and I just can't be happy for them...with time, i've accepted it and become a 'little bit' happy for them, but until i'm pregnant myself, I just can't be 'excited' for them.

Don't worry, you're NOT a bad, mean or cynical person, you're just a woman that wants a baby more than anything else in the world, and you just feel that its unfair that someone that didn't even plan for a baby is pregnant.

Chin up, your time will come and until then, we're all here for you

 

[Wobbles]

Here is FJLs post;
https://www.babyandbump.com/showthread.php?t=5628

Some of teh answers already given may help you

It's not easy

 

[Sinead]

Thanx
That has made me feel so much better. It just seems that where ever you look there is a pregnant women!!!!!
Sinead

 

[Trinity]

Know exactly what you mean Sinead.

 

[Imi]

Hugs to you hun ...


xxx

 

[Tam]

 

[Sinead]

Thanx everyone. I am feeling loads better today and more hopeful for this month

Sinead

 

[Iwantone!!!]

hugs hunny

 

[Omi]

Im sooo desperate for a baby I feel jealous and envious of pregnant women when and where I see them.. which seems so be all the time- everywhere Due to my age my fears are multiplied and then some! It really gets me down. To make it worse my partners sister just announced she's pregnant again, and she's a year younger than me! I just feel like such a sad and lonely person sometimes as I don't have anyone to talk to about this...
Sorry, im coming across all doom and gloom, its one of those days I guess anyway, I guess what Im trying to say is it can all be a bit much somedays!

 

[Jo]

Omi I'm so sorry you feel like this
Introduce yourself to us
you'll get all the support you could need or want

 

[Omi]

Thanks, im feeling better and a little silly,I guess Im 37 and me and my partner have only recently started trying but im already panicking. Am i the only one being this paranoid? I have aquaintances who are much younger and on fertility treatment!!! In addition to that I have NO patience- i want one now

Im sooo desperate for a baby I feel jealous and envious of pregnant women when and where I see them.. which seems so be all the time- everywhere Due to my age my fears are multiplied and then some! It really gets me down. To make it worse my partners sister just announced she's pregnant again, and she's a year younger than me! I just feel like such a sad and lonely person sometimes as I don't have anyone to talk to about this...
Sorry, im coming across all doom and gloom, its one of those days I guess anyway, I guess what Im trying to say is it can all be a bit much somedays!

 

[Wobbles]

Im sooo desperate for a baby I feel jealous and envious of pregnant women when and where I see them.. which seems so be all the time- everywhere Due to my age my fears are multiplied and then some! It really gets me down. To make it worse my partners sister just announced she's pregnant again, and she's a year younger than me! I just feel like such a sad and lonely person sometimes as I don't have anyone to talk to about this...
Sorry, im coming across all doom and gloom, its one of those days I guess anyway, I guess what Im trying to say is it can all be a bit much somedays!

Hi Omi

Welcome to BabyandBump

I know how you feel & it's nothing to feel silly about. Its the most hardest journey I have ever been through. The heartache, the jealous nature & those selfish feelings are all natural.

How long have you been trying?

Don't feel time is running out - Your as young as you feel you know whens right & maybe when is not which isn't yet

x

 

[Amanda]

Hi Omi, and welcome to the forum.

Let me firstly tell you that you are definitely not alone in the 'age' thing. I was lucky enough to have my daughter when I was 23, then I married a much younger man 2 years ago and we started ttc straight away. I was 35 then, and found it so difficult. All the doubts about my age came flooding in. But after 6 months of trying, we got our BFP, and now have Charlie. We have been trying for a 3rd since Charlie was born (c-section, so we were back on it almost immediately! ), and still nothing. And then my next-door neighbour told me a week ago that she is pg. Not planned, he doesn't want it, she's a single mum of 2 already, and I hated her for it. I feel so guilty for the way I feel, but I have told her I will be there for her, and hopefully not too far behind.

You'll get there hunnie, I think everyone on here has been through exactly the same as you.

 

[Omi]

Thanks for the words of encouragment, guys. I think I had one of those days yesterday... I havent been trying for ages only since February but I have been off the pill since last June. Its like a lot of you say though; you spend most of your life trying not to get pregnant and as soon as you actually want a baby it seems to be so difficult while all around you everyone seems to get pregnant accidentally. Argh, its enough to drive you crazy!!

At 37 it doesnt help that eveywhere you turn there seems so be articles and Panorama specials on how you cannot get feritlity treatment on the NHS past 38, or its all your fault for having it left it so long. Anyway, it helps getting to vent a bit here

 

[FJL]

Omi -

Have you been having unprotected sex since you came off the pill and have only been timing it since feb? Or only having unprotected sex since feb?

Here in Australia, doctors will see you if you're over 30 and aren't pregnant within 6 months of trying.

I'm sure it will happen for you soon, but maybe you could do a sperm count test and use OPK's to put your mind at ease that everything reproductively is fine and that it just might take a bit longer.

Good luck, and sending you lots of to get your BFP real soon

 

[Sinead]

Hi Omi

I come on here to rant a bit too, and everyone is brilliant.

Sinead