How do you cope?

[n41210]

i'd like to know how everyone copes with taking so long to concieve. ive been trying for 4 and half years. i have PCOS and needed to lose 2 and half stone to be allowed IVF which ive managed to do, but due to a load of reasons i've not yet started. Anyway on CD1 (24th Jan) i nearly lost it. i was so upset and cried for 4 hours straight. i was useless at work and nearly got sent home. i usually get frustrated, stamp my feet, but move on and pray for the next month. ive spent the last 4 days being moody and snappy and very negative about everything. i hate being this way and im normally very positive. im lucky to have a supportive friends and family. what do you do? how do you cope? x

 

[theclarks8687]

I cry lol, I know it sucks but its better than holding it all in. I'm 5 yrs this month at trying to concieve. Set little goals in life to complete in the meantime.

 

[valerie1708]

It's been a little over 3 years for me now and I am desperate! PCOS damn it! the one and only thing I wanted more than anything in my life hasn't happened yet and sometimes I doubt it will ever happen.

I cry, I scream at poor DH sometimes, I get depressed and can be quiet for days but then I dust myself off and carry on. It is hard but I try to take my mind off things with new hobbies etc.

I so want a baby that I ended up with a dog, 2 chinchillas and a hamster ... had to stop coz DH said "enough animals" lol

 

[Wanting2BMom]

I cry as well.. It's like crying washes away all of the anger and pain that I feel. I too get really moody and I get irritated easily to the point that my co-teacher will sense something is wrong and give me my space.

 

[n41210]

im so pleased to know im not the only one. is sometimes feel very selfish about the whole situation and it is really depressing. in the last 4 and half years i have acheived alot and havent put my life on hold. im so desperate for a baby and each period is another month without one.

i seriously hope you ladies have some luck soon. thankyou for reassuring me im human. xx

 

[TTCMetalMom]

Almost 4 years of trying now. 4 years in two months, my birthday as well.

I have to take each day as it comes, each day turns into cycles (ha! whenever they want to happen). Whenever I had a bleed (DUB sufferer) I cry. I try not to get excited if I go more than 2 weeks without a bleed (like now), I try not to let my partner get excited either. It's quite sad on our house during the non-bleeds, nothing too strenuous, nothing dangerous and nothing that could upset me...just in case. We live in fear of my womb. So I cry a lot, not in front of my partner anymore. I nip off to the toilet and cry on there for a while and I sometimes cry in bed after he's fallen asleep. I think he can tell, because he just rolls over and holds me.

When I'm feeling well, I try and do things...like make my wedding dress or little crafty things just to take my mind off it. And we talk a lot about our future, we never mention kids now, just the fact we want pugs...the only time we speak about children is when we come across a name we like and how 'that'd be perfect for a boy/girl'.

 

[n41210]

sorry to hear about your problems. i dont use this site much, what does DUB mean? x

 

[rosebud_01_99]

hi there
ive been ttc for 17yrs, its so hard to live throught all lifes ups and downs childless while the rest of the world seems to find it so easy to have babies. i am also a chronic pain sufferer so live life one day from the next anyway . i try to look forward to small things in life like a hol or a nite out or a new film or something, but nothing does or ever will make up for not becoming a mother. rosebud

 

[n41210]

wow rosebud, thanks for sharing your story. i guess we should be greatful for what we do have really rather than what we dont. hope you get some luck soon xx

 

[rosebud_01_99]

thanks
i ment to add as well its pcos with me 2, it really seems to be a devil, i know so many women who spontanously conceive with pcos but it never seems to be me. rosebud

 

[uwa_amanda]

i'd like to know how everyone copes with taking so long to concieve. ive been trying for 4 and half years. i have PCOS and needed to lose 2 and half stone to be allowed IVF which ive managed to do, but due to a load of reasons i've not yet started. Anyway on CD1 (24th Jan) i nearly lost it. i was so upset and cried for 4 hours straight. i was useless at work and nearly got sent home. i usually get frustrated, stamp my feet, but move on and pray for the next month. ive spent the last 4 days being moody and snappy and very negative about everything. i hate being this way and im normally very positive. im lucky to have a supportive friends and family. what do you do? how do you cope? x

On my CD1 (January 19th), I cried almost all day. I really haven't been worth much these last two weeks. I have been severely mopey, crying at the drop of a hat, bitchy, etc. I feel so bad for my DH because I know he wants so bad for me to find out that I'm going to be a mother, but it hurts so bad when it's another month that I'm not. All he can do is just sit there and hold me and try to make me feel better about everything. No one is in the boat that we're in so I can't just talk to anybody. I try to just dive into my business/hobby. I have been selling Avon for the past three years and thoroughly enjoy it. That is probably my best coping method, as I don't really watch a lot of television. Maybe one day...

 

[heavenly]

I don't know how I cope, I suppose I have always thought up to now, there is a still a chance.

I'm 46, TTC for 4 years.

This year is it for us. FS has put me on Clomid for 4 cycles, then after that, it will be IVF, which we can't really afford, so that will put us into debt and may not work.

I have always had that little voice in my head that it would happen for me, so I am pretty scared how I am going to react if I have to face the fact that 'no, it's not going to happen'.

 

[Skoer1360]

I've only been ttc for 13months/17 cycles (stupid LPD) which is just a drop in the bucket compared to some of you ladies but it still hurts a lot, especially when I know that it's me. It's only really been this last month that I've gone off the super deep end; the impending end of the 12 month mark, the fact that we got referred to the FS this last month, the HSG that needs to be done, the SA re-test... it's all just happening at once. I get mopey and angry mostly.. I usually never cry unless it's out of frustration (not really a big crier to begin with), and DH doesn't really know what to say/do to make me feel better. Though I have found that telling every single person who will listen (lol all my close friends) helps quite a bit, I'm almost slightly superstitious in the fact that I think if the whole world knows then I'll get pregnant sooner. Also I've started doing a 'coping with infertility' workbook, as weird as it sounds, it definitely helps.

 

[shadowslegacy]

we have been trying for 2 1/2 years, with male fertility problems, but i cope with my hubby, when im having a bad day hes there. i do cry and hold my self while hes at work. but sometimes just crying helps.. but i also am a sucker to read success stories when im having a bad day, it reminds me miracles do happen and i no mine will to

 

[n41210]

well by reading all your stories im actually quite normal!! i have one friend who understands what im going through and i tell anyone who will listen and all they can say is "it will happen" which grates on my nerves as they dont know that and it can be patronising. i think the world and his wife know that im trying which for me makes it harder and each month im telling them the same thing. my fs told me i would be put on hormone injections and on the day i was supposed to start them changed his mind. (i didnt need them, but body is doing what is should be doing) im being monitored at the moment and hoping to start IVF within the next few months. im finding excercise is a really good way to release the stress. a gentle walk or a game on the wii. my husband is great too. i seriously hope we all have some luck soon x