How do you deal with jealousy?

[GmansMom]

It seems like every other day someone else I know is announcing their GREAT news. It's hard for me to even feign happiness for others anymore.

*sigh*

Maybe I should just give up and be happy that I have the most wonderful 3 year old DS. I just always thought I'd have 2 kids, so this incomplete feeling is eating away at me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[shmoo75]

Its hard hun but at least you have us on B&B. You can feign happiness then have a little rant here as, we all know to some degree how you feel. How long have been TTC #2 for?

 

[40yearoldmum]

It seems like every other day someone else I know is announcing their GREAT news. It's hard for me to even feign happiness for others anymore.

*sigh*

Maybe I should just give up and be happy that I have the most wonderful 3 year old DS. I just always thought I'd have 2 kids, so this incomplete feeling is eating away at me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

OMG I could have written your post...I sometimes feel that because I feel all this jealousy anger and incompleteness, thats the reason why I'm not allowed another one, every day someone else announces 'the good news' and I feel like punching them.

 

[GmansMom]

Its hard hun but at least you have us on B&B. You can feign happiness then have a little rant here as, we all know to some degree how you feel. How long have been TTC #2 for?

well, we've been "not preventing" for almost a year. I've only really been "trying" for a few months. I just knew it would be as easy as the last time, but it is not. I'll be ok in a day or so. lol.

 

[shmoo75]

I know this is my 3rd cycle TTC #2 and its harder then when I was TTC #1 and I had 2 m/c's before I had my DD! Crazy isn't it?

 

[onmymind17]

It seems like every other day someone else I know is announcing their GREAT news. It's hard for me to even feign happiness for others anymore.

*sigh*

Maybe I should just give up and be happy that I have the most wonderful 3 year old DS. I just always thought I'd have 2 kids, so this incomplete feeling is eating away at me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Oh trust me i know how you feel, vent away honey, for me all i can do is tell myself that i can pick up on all the baby vibes, i literally have 7 women here at work that either just had their babys or are due, each month through november. I have a lot of baby vibes floating around here lol. I also tell myself that the babies are all in a line, in heaven and every time a woman gets pg, it moves my baby one step closer to me. Hang in there honey, for now love your DS and try to stay stress free, and hopefully your bfp will be just around the corner.

 

[Natsby]

It is strange I get jealous of people I know but then I´m thrilled when someone on here announces their BFP. SO I´m trying to think of all BFPs like that, good news that it is possible and happens and soon it will be our turn. Good luck and hang in there I´m sure it will happen for you.

 

[mom22boys]

I would rather hear that someone is pregnant over the phone or on fb because I am sure my face has this I want to cry look plus I my skin turns red! Its a feeling that I feel from my head to my toes! I hate being that jealous!!!! Right now I work with 6 pregnant women!!! Only 2 of them planned! I had one lady tell me today that she tries not to complain about being pregnant too much cause there are so many people out there who are trying to have a baby and cannot get that way (hers was not planned).

 

[readyformore]

Well, I'm an OB nurse. I am perpetually surrounded by hyperfertile unfit parents that get to take home their beautiful perfect newborns. It really makes me struggle with a sense of superiority.

Somehow, I feel that I should get to be the one that takes home a baby instead of the homeless recovering drug addict. Or the lady that doesn't have custody of her 2 other children because she chooses to live with her registered sex offender boyfriend. Or the lady that is 22 years old and just had her 4th baby that she gave up for adoption. Or the lady that had 7 consecutive elective abortions. (And yes, I have cared for all of these women in the past year that I have been ttc).

Yeah, I get what you're saying. We all get jealous.

 

[crystal443]

Well, I'm an OB nurse. I am perpetually surrounded by hyperfertile unfit parents that get to take home their beautiful perfect newborns. It really makes me struggle with a sense of superiority.

Somehow, I feel that I should get to be the one that takes home a baby instead of the homeless recovering drug addict. Or the lady that doesn't have custody of her 2 other children because she chooses to live with her registered sex offender boyfriend. Or the lady that is 22 years old and just had her 4th baby that she gave up for adoption. Or the lady that had 7 consecutive elective abortions. (And yes, I have cared for all of these women in the past year that I have been ttc).

Yeah, I get what you're saying. We all get jealous.

I know of someone that gave up custody of her kids to be with a convicted sex offender..she first lied and told Child Protective Services he wasn't living with her and her kids and then when they found out she gave them up...who does that??? Makes me sick TBH, you must find your job extremly difficult at times

 

[Rashaa]

I have to add something here, in that I COMPLETELY know how you feel!!! The wife to my brother in law [the entire family does not like her for many reasons...(too much drama to list - but she's been very disrespectful to the whole family, especially DH's mom - and they are Arab, and it's really taboo) anyway, she is now in her 8th month, 2nd pregnancy ...she lost the first baby sadly in her 6th month, and she is having the same issues in this pregnancy, and they sewed her cervix [she has incompetent cervix]....... But DH and I married 3 years ago....and should have had the first child..he's the oldest etc... they married a year or so behind us..and have had two pregnancies....when I heard that she was pregnant I twinged...and then felt guilty when she lost the first one..sadly before she ever conceived, the doctors told her that she could not carry a child to term, and that is was life-threatening and that she should not try, but she so badly yearns for acceptance from this family, (that she will never get), and she thinks by having a child she will get it . And her family keep pushing her to have a baby with dh's brother, so that he won't leave her (he almost divorced her twice already.....)

My MIL has repeatedly said that she will not be close to her child, no matter what, after dh's wife has treated her the way she did..unfortunately [lots of drama] but I am concerned for the girl's health. They are overseas, and the standards are different.

It's a bad situation, all the way around :S.

 

[Natsby]

Well, I'm an OB nurse. I am perpetually surrounded by hyperfertile unfit parents that get to take home their beautiful perfect newborns. It really makes me struggle with a sense of superiority.

Somehow, I feel that I should get to be the one that takes home a baby instead of the homeless recovering drug addict. Or the lady that doesn't have custody of her 2 other children because she chooses to live with her registered sex offender boyfriend. Or the lady that is 22 years old and just had her 4th baby that she gave up for adoption. Or the lady that had 7 consecutive elective abortions. (And yes, I have cared for all of these women in the past year that I have been ttc).

Yeah, I get what you're saying. We all get jealous.

Wow you are one strong lady, good on you for keeping on doing your job against such odds. It doesn´t seem fair, but then life is an unfathomable mystery. My brother said he would see people in the supermarket with trolleys full of junk food and perfect skin. Yet he eats healthy food doesn´t drink or smoke and at the time had eczema head to toe.

 

[mrsparoline]

This is the best thread I could have seen this morning!! I've been dealing with the fact that my 19 year old sister is accidentally preggers but won't give up marijuana, and after experiencing my first chemical and OH and myself not knowing how to feel, his good friend dropped the news on us that he and his girlfriend of 3 months are pregnant and ohmygoshsohappyaren'tyou?!?!?! Um...no. Not at all. Not when I've been with my husband for 7 years, sorry.

But like someone else posted, I am through the moon for every single bfp announced on here. I don't really have any advice on how to deal with jealousy, but I'm sure if you're in this fight long enough you will perfect your "fake happy" face anyways.

 

[SweetPickles]

Not to sound like a Pollyanna (because I'm NOT, just ask my dh) but I really don't feel jealous...yet. But I don't know anyone in RL who is pregnant right now, not well, anyway, so I think that is different. I can see being very upset if I had a close friend or relative get pregnant right now, or worse, close friend or relative who was a complete f*ck up getting pregnant.

However, like the other posters have said, seeing other ladies get bfps on here makes me really happy. It makes my day!

I try to think of it this way: There are no limits on the number of bfps to go around. So, whether or not someone else gets one has nothing to do with whether or not I get one. Instead, I like to think they are contagious, and the more the merrier. (Okay, that was awfully Pollyanna-ish - I'll go make myself gag now.)

 

[babyforus]

Hey Sweet Pickles

What a great attitude!

 

[tigerlilly]

Oh hunnie Your an amazing lady. I know how you feel The thing that really upsets me is that my MIL doesn't seem interested One time i was talking to my sil about preconception nutrition and was saying what you can't eat, take folic acid, and don't drink to which my MIL start shouting what a load of b######S don't listen to that s###t listern to ur midwife she'll tell you what to do!

We told dh's mum 10 yrs ago we were considering starting a family and even then she was vile about the sistuation and saying we hadn't been together long enough to have kids we had been living togther for 3 yrs and were married and i was 29. It broke our hearts how could we bring a child into the world when its not wanted by it's own nan? My MIL has never asked us how we feel on our TTC journey the last time she asked us anything when my sil annouced her bfp all she said was any news? I said if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't and she repiled well i think thats the best attidude to have! So i figure her attidude hasn't changed!

The biggest heart ache is my my wonderful DH wants to walk away from his own family and have nothing to do with them and this breaks my heart.

 

[Rashaa]

TL !!


Oh I feel your pain . That is so sad...OMG and how some people can be so blind is beyond me!

Hang in there.. I am fervent believer in karma above all else. I told dh that if anything happened to the girl, but the baby survived we could raise it [his brother and mom would reject it sadly...] and someone needs to do the right thing.

*sigh*

It's a bad situation, all the way around :S.[/QUOTE]

Oh hunnie Your an amazing lady. I know how you feel My sil is 9wks and she is a drama queen most of the family see through her except my mil and my bil. they have been togther 5 yrs got married this yr and still live with my in laws and have never lived on their own and there 30. I'm pleased to be an auntie but she told my dh a yr ago that she was thinking about getting herself pg to trap his brother! who would 1, do this and 2, tell his own brother what she planned. so knowing this we find it difficult to be happy for her. we'd never tell my BIL we love him dearly.
We have many question's over her motives for this pregnancy and none seem to be for the right reasons all we here is that she doesn't want to work! they knew we were trying last year and when she got her BFP my BIL to DH that of all the thing that went through his mind was that we should have had the first grand child. I know everyone worries about fertility issues by she's been playing the age card since 29!

The thing that really upsets me is that my MIL favours her over her own son! One time i was talking to my sil about preconception nutrition and was saying what you can't eat, take folic acid, and don't drink to which my MIL start shouting what a load of b######S don't listen to that s###t listern to ur midwife she'll tell you what to do!

We told her 10 yrs ago we were considering starting a family and even then she was vile about the sistuation and saying we hadn't been together long enough to have kids we had been living togther for 3 yrs and were married and i was 29. It broke our hearts how could we bring a child into the world when its not wanted by it's own nan? even now i still want to know what the difference is for us and my sil?

My MIL has never asked us how we feel on our TTC journey the last time she asked us anything when my sil annouced her bfp all she said was any news? I said if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't and she repiled well i think thats the best attidude to have! and yet sheld tell us all about my SIL's worries. So i figure her attidude hasn't changed!

The biggest heart ache is my my wonderful DH wants to walk away from his own family and have nothing to do with them and this breaks my heart.[/QUOTE]

 

[Indigo77]

I love it when my friends get knocked up!

When people I don't know get their bfp, it does not phase me one way or another...